Parents are getting suckered into, er, I mean are exhibiting prudent foresight in gene-testing their toddlers to determine the sport for which they are best suited:
In the overheated world of youth sports, it’s come to this: a gene test that claims to predict whether a child is more likely to become an endurance athlete like Lance Armstrong or a sprinter like Dara Torres. As the New York Times reported over the weekend, some parents are paying $149 for the test in an attempt to get their kids matched with the sports at which they’re most likely to succeed.
I’m not going to spring for the gene test for my boy because I can look at him, his grandpa, his uncles, and in the mirror and tell him with all certainty that if he is going to have a pro career, it’s going to be as a stout relief pitcher, preferably with a moustache and mullet, who won’t really start earning his keep until he’s in his mid 30s.
That’s why I named him Wickman Weathers Beck Calcaterra.