Phillies 12, Braves 11: And here I thought we’d get at least a week into the season before I wanted to shoot myself in the face, but then the Braves’ pen walks six (6!) guys in the seventh inning — four with the bases loaded — and goes and moves up the schedule. Bobby Cox: “I’ve never seen anything like it. I’ve seen a couple walk-ins, but never like that.” Bobby Cox has been in professional baseball for over 50 years, and dadgummit, I believe him.
Rockies 9, Diamondbacks 2: Rockies’ starter Franklin Morales: one run over six innings and the win. His reward: a flight to Colorado Springs and the minors. I sort of know how he feels. True story: yesterday I found out I won an appeal in the Ohio Supreme Court that I briefed and argued — and that I had no business winning — a month before I got laid off from my law firm. Nobody appreciates good work anymore.
Tigers 5, Blue Jays 1: After the way they started last year, I can only assume that the Tigers feel like a giant weight was taken off their chests with a win here. Miguel Cabrera was a one-man wrecking crew, with two homers and 4 RBI. And what’s with Brandon Inge? Three games, three homers. Rick Porcello goes later today, in what will be the most closely watched Tigers’ start in recent memory.
Orioles 7, Yankees 5: I actually wish that the Yanks would start out 12-2 or something, because there’s nothing worse than the sturm und drang of New York fans and New York media trying to figure out What All of This Means with these slow starts to which we’ve become accustomed. Nick Markakis went 3-for-3 with a homer and three RBI, but if I’m guessing right, the tabloids will feature this game as an act in some larger morality play in which the Yankees are found lacking. It would be pathetic if it wasn’t so boring.
Marlins 6, Nationals 4: Can’t wait to read Manny Acta ripping Daniel Cabrera on his blog later today.
Rays 7, Red Sox 2: Yesterday, in response to the Red Sox’ Opening Day win over the Rays, the New York Times referred to it as the Red Sox “restoring order” in the wake of the Rays’ “surreal” ascent last year. Query: does this game throw everything back out of whack, or are we all going to be adults about this and admit that Tampa Bay ain’t goin’ anywhere for the better part of the next decade? By the way, I’m going to predict that Evan Longoria has the greatest anti-sophomore slump since “Paul’s Boutique” came out.
Royals 2, White Sox 0: It’s amazing what happens when you actually send the good pitchers (Greinke, Cruz, Soria) out to take care of things, isn’t it Trey?
Twins 6, Mariners 5: Apart from the front office and managerial moves this offseason, I had pretty much missed everything that happened with Seattle. Imagine my surprise and, I must say, joy at realizing that Russell Branyan is starting at first base for the Mariners. Or platooning. Or whatever it is he’s doing. If my count is correct, this is his ninth team. Have Three True Outcomes, will travel.
Mets 9, Reds 7: A shaky ninth inning for K-Rod — the bases load up on two walks and an error — but Alex Gonzalez swung at ball four and Lance Nix flied out to end the threat and the game. When you save as many as Rodriguez does, a lot of them aren’t gonna be pretty.
Pirates 7, Cardinals 4: Matt Capps should be buying Tyler Yates a beer for being ineffective, thereby transforming a non-save situation into a save situation for him. The Pirates rapped 17 hits off Cardinal pitchers, four apiece from Jack Wilson and Freddy Sanchez. Kind of surprising that they only got seven runs out of it all.
Cubs 11, Astros 6: Fukudome was 4-5 and scored four times, so maybe the reports of his death are greatly exaggerated. Aramis Ramirez and Mike Fontenot each drove in four. That’s all well and good, but Cubs’ fans can’t be pleased to hear about Geovany Soto’s shoulder.
Rangers 8, Indians 5: So much of the preseason optimism for the Indians was based on the anticipation of the successful return of Fausto Carmona. The anticipation still builds, because no such successful return has been seen yet (5 IP, 7 H, 6 ER). And hey, Elvis left the building too with a homer in the sixth to cap a nice night (2-4, HR 2 RBI). Wait. Don’t tell me. I’m the first one to make that joke, right? Right?! Oh please tell me I was first.
Dodgers 5, Padres 2: Psst! Padres! I watched Edward Mujica pitch for the Indians an awful lot last year and, I gotta tell ya, he’s not the droids you’re looking for.
Brewers 4, Giants 2: Remember last year how Greg Maddux took absolutely forever to reach 350 wins? I think that’s what we’re up against with Randy Johnson and 300. He struck out seven guys in five innings but he also gave up two dingers and four runs. Yovani Gallardo took responsibility for everything last night, pitching nearly seven solid innings and hitting a three run home run in the fifth that all but knocked Johnson out of the game. Factoid that surprised me: “Johnson is the oldest pitcher to start a game for the Giants, surpassing Warren Spahn, who was 44 in 1965.” I think intellectually I knew that Johnson was older than Spahn was when he quit pitching, but some part of my gut wants me to think he as about 77 years-old when he retired. Also, I remember he started for the Mets in 1965 because I have a 1965 Spahn card with the Mets on it, but it had always escaped my notice that he signed on with the Giants in the middle of the season.
I guess that’s just another reason to hang around B-R.com. Well, that and it’s pretty awesome redesign which came on line the other day.