Blue Jays 6, Tigers 2: The Rick Porcello era gets off to a somewhat rocky start (5 IP, 9 H, 4 ER). But don’t worry: the Tim Lincecum Era began with five runs on five hits in four and a third. Wait, maybe you should worry, because before I found Lincecum’s bad first performance I searched through about six or seven other elite pitchers’ first outings, and couldn’t find another one as bad as Porcello’s. Heck, just look across the diamond for a better debut: Rickey Romero (W, 6 IP, 7 H, 2 ER, 5K).
Reds 8, Mets 6: Wait, I thought I read over the offseason that Oliver Perez was the greatest lefthander since Koufax or something. How then did he give up eight runs in four innings? I do hope that the author of that report wasn’t engaging in puffery and ballyhoo!
Royals 2, White Sox 1: Where does Kyle Davies get off throwing seven shutout innings? I mean, yeah, it was against what is shaping up to be a pretty anemic White Sox offense, but this is Kyle Davies we’re talking about here, and he hasn’t been able to get anyone out for a good long while. Another reason why I love Ozzie Guillen so much: in yesterday’s Chicago Sun-Times he was quoted as saying that he doesn’t care what anyone thinks, DeWayne Wise was his leadoff hitter. A few hours later, Wise in penciled in eighth in the order. You can’t buy that kind of crazy on the open market.
Yankees 11, Orioles 2: Nick Swisher provides a constructive F.U. to whoever it was decided that he wasn’t a starter for this team, by going 3-5 with a double, a homer and 5 RBI. A.J. Burnett was effective enough for five innings and picked up the win, and Mark Teixeira hit a homer, so New York can probably stop freaking out now. At least until tomorrow.
Rangers 12, Indians 8: Your washed-update for today: Andruw Jones rising (3-5, 2B RBI, inexplicably batting cleanup for the scariest offensive team in baseball) and Carl Pavano falling (1 IP, 6 H, 9 ER, leading the charge for a rotation that probably wishes it didn’t start the year in Texas).
Rays 4, Red Sox 3: Fun stats: “In all, the Rays have won 13 of their last 19 games against the Red Sox . . .” and “Tampa Bay heads to Baltimore to play the Orioles, a team the Rays have beaten 12 straight times.” It hadn’t occurred to me to even imagine that the Rays could just dominate this division, but it could happen. If, say, they jump out to a comfortable lead while the older teams take a while to get going? I think that would probably be the story of 2009 if they did that, and the only way to top 2008 in terms of WTF factor.
Padres 4, Dodgers 3: Lots of “we’re not going anywhere, we’re young, we’re hungry” talk coming from the Padres after this one. It’s so heart warming to see that kind of thing every year. The Nats were like that a couple of years ago. Indeed lots of teams have played this role in Aprils past. Such optimism! Such pluck! Such confidence despite the fact that everyone who knows anything about this game knows that the long grind of the Major League season leaves nowhere for a thin, under-talented team to hide. It’s noble, even, like a brave stand of an outgunned opponent against superior forces. The valiant bearing of an army that, while ultimately doomed, holds strong, with its face turned into the sun, awaiting its doom but confident that it will be remembered with honor.
Cardinals 2, Pirates 1: Rob Neyer, on Wednesday: “I can’t see the Cards making much noise without an ace, and I don’t see any aces except for maybe [Carpenter].” It’s just the Pirates, but maybe Carpenter (7 IP, 1 H, 0 ER, 7K) is the ace they’re looking for.
Mariners 2, Twins 0: Jarrod Washburn was fantastic (8 IP, 5 H, 0 ER). Washburn only went eight innings in two starts all last year, neither of which were as good as this start.
Giants 7, Brewers 1: Joe Martinez was nailed in the head by a Mike Cameron line drive in the ninth. Martinez seems OK, but according to the game story, Cameron was beside himself after the incident:
He grimaced, looked away and slowed while running to first base.
Cameron knelt at second base with his head in his hands while Martinez was being treated. Cameron stayed down even after Martinez left, and San Francisco players came up to console the Brewers veteran.
Not to be insensitive, but it appears he wasn’t so distraught that he didn’t take second base on the play, right? Or is that an automatic double or something? I’m really not sure.
Angels-A’s, postponed: Godspeed, Nick Adenhart.