Pirates 8, Marlins 0: “You see? You see?! He’s not a machine, he’s a man. He’s a man!” The Pirates play Rocky to Florida’s Ivan Drago after the Nats spent the weekend as Apollo Creed. Translation for those of you under 35: The Pirates throw their third shutout in four games and put a halt to the Marlins’ seven game winning streak.
Red Sox 12, Orioles 1: Nothing like the Orioles pitching staff to cure what ails you — the Sox scored 30 runs in four games against Baltimore. They scored 29 runs in the first eight games of the season. Good: David Ortiz broke out, going 2-4 with a triple (!) and a couple of RBIs. Not too surprising, though, considering that he’s a career .522 with three home runs and 12 RBIs in Patriots Day games. More good: Justin Masterson allowed one run on four hits in five and a third innings. But some bad: Jed Lowrie is going to have surgery and will be out two or three months.
Reds 4, Astros 3: Joey Votto comes up with a big hit in the seventh after Cincy had surrendered an early lead, and then the bullpen comes through as it has a surprising number of times for the Reds in recent days, with Arthur Rhodes and Cordero closing things out. That palpable sense of confusion you’re picking up is the whole of Reds’ fandom trying to remember the last time they actually had a bullpen.
Nationals 3, Braves 2: A very Zimermanny day in Washington, as first the Nats sign Ryan to a five year extension, and then Jordan wins his debut in impression fashion. Bonus: the revamped bullpen held the Braves hitless for three innings. Of course because this is the Nationals even nice night like this was somewhat sullied: because of the bad weather and subsequent delays only about 1,000 folks were around to see it happen.
Diamondbacks 6, Rockies 3: After hitting a buzzsaw of good pitching in San Francisco, Arizona couldn’t have been happier to see Jason Marquis, who was slapped around for six runs on nine hits in five innings. Great moments in scheduling: this is Colorado’s second trip to Phoenix already against a single three-game homestand overall so far this year.
Yankees-Athletics: Postponed: I hate to see a rainout, but it could be worse. If this game were rained out on Titan, it would be because of methane showers. On Venus it would be sulfuric acid virga. In New York? Just water. Besides, it was a weeknight game against a non-marquee opponent, so it’s not like anyone would be at the Stadium watching anyway. The people with tickets have housekeepers to torment and purse dogs to groom and stuff like that.
Phillies-Padres: Postponed: Did you know that Eddie Rabbitt — the same dude who sang “I love a rainy night,” also wrote the Elvis song “Kentucky Rain”? Now you do. You’ll thank me later when your mind, after some moderate amount of time spent processing that tidbit, is officially blown.