Things a borderline obsessive box score reader does on a night, and following morning, when there are hardly any box scores to read:
2. Wander around the house, open random book, read a page or two, then close book.
3. Eat mint chocolate chip ice cream right out of carton (note: this sometimes happens on busy baseball nights too).
4. Wonder what 14 year-old cat thinks about, now that death is presumably near.
5. Buy four baseball t-shirts online (two Tigers, one Braves, one Giants; don’t read too much into that; I just liked the shirt).
6. Try to ignore nine year-old cat who doesn’t respect his elders.
7. Click on the Brewers-Indians game, realize how ugly it is, and click it off again because life is too short to watch ugly baseball. Consult the boxscore anyway and wonder if Ben Francisco, Jhonny Peralta and Mike Cameron feel like losers for being the only guys not hitting tonight.
8. Listen to son snore on baby monitor. Wonder why nearly four year-old son still has a baby monitor. Remember that listening to his son snore on baby monitor is one of the most wonderful things in the world. Vow to keep monitor in son’s room until he’s 12.
9. Look out window and see neighbor — who used to be law firm co-worker — get home really late from work. Remember how much I hated law firm.
10. Fantasize about living on west coast so that I could get “And That Happened” completely written before I go to bed each night. Curse myself for having such pathetic fantasies.
11. Wonder whether Annie was right when she said that the world is made for people who aren’t cursed with self-awareness. Think about it a bit and realize that this is probably so. Spend many more minutes reading the list of “Bull Durham” quotes I referenced in order to get the Annie quote right.
12. Notice that the Angels-Giants game has started. Wonder how much money I could have won if I had offered to bet someone that Zito would have a lower ERA than Lackey come June 15th.
13. Stalk some junior high school friends on Facebook. Think about the ethics of this, and then realize that with a name as distinctive as “Calcaterra” more people are probably stalking me than me them. Continue stalking. Find no one interesting to stalk. Move on with life.
14. Notice that the Indians-Brewers game ended, with the Brewers winning 14 to 12. Think that Indians should have managed clock better so that there would have been time for an onside kick and a chance for a field goal.
15. Set coffee pot up to grind and brew at 5:20 AM. Brush teeth. Turn out light in dark-fearing daughter’s room (dark fear ceases once she falls asleep). Go to bed.
16. Wake up two-minutes before alarm — which is set for 5:25 — goes off. Realize that this happens most mornings anymore. Wonder what happened to the night person I used to be. Wonder how late I’d sleep if I didn’t have a blog to update each morning. Remember that I like the blog more than I like sleeping late and banish the thought.
17. Notice that the Angels beat the Giants 9-7. Wonder if the four teams playing last night decided that they needed to score enough for all 30. Note that, as of this morning, Lackey’s ERA has inched lower and Zito’s higher. I will not be taking bets on their relative positions as of July 15th.
18. Begin my morning stroll around the baseball pages and begin forming the day’s bloggy thoughts.