And That Happened

Reds 4, Cubs 0: Justin Lehr? Really? The same Justin Lehr making his second career start at the age of 32? The same Justin Lehr who hadn’t previously pitched in the majors since 2006, and was really, really bad when he did that? The same Justin Lehr who the Reds signed in 2007, sold to the freakin’ Korean league, signed again with the Reds later in the year, was let go again and allowed to sign with the Phillies, then the Reds traded for AGAIN back in May? The same Justin Lehr who had someone updating his Wikipedia page with news of this shutout against the Cubs (CG SHO, 4 H, 4K, 1BB) mere minutes after the game went final? For Pete’s sake, you gotta love baseball.

Phillies 7, Rockies 0: I don’t think that anyone was truly serious about moving J.A. Happ out of the rotation in lieu of Pedro Martinez, but to the extent there was even a hint of chatter on this point, it needs to stop now (CG SHO 4 H, 10K 2 BB). Well, maybe. Damn, it’s gotta be good to be a Phillies fan right now.

Brewers 4, Dodgers 1: Game story: “The final meeting of the season between the teams was played with a heavier-than-usual presence of security personnel stationed between both clubhouses before and after the game. Usually there is one security guard in front of each door. This time, there were five on the Dodgers’ side and eight on the visitors’ side.” Prince Fielder behaved himself, but he was seen searching for a wheelbarrow and a holocaust cloak between innings, so there was genuine reason for concern.

Tigers 4, Orioles 2: Edwin Jackson gave up a two-run homer to Adam Jones in the ninth on his 117th pitch. Until then, however, it was cream cheese (8 IP, 3 H, 2 ER, 8K).

Diamondbacks 4, Pirates 3: Ross Ohlendorf left with a lead, but the pen couldn’t hold it for him. From the game’s scoring summary in the 8th inning: “S Drew singled to center, C Tracy and A Romero scored, S Drew out stretching at second.” Drew probably should have stretched before the game or at the very least kept his foot on the bag while stretching in the 8th.

Indians 8, Twins 1: Minnesota threw five guys out there — Liriano, Dickey, Keppel, Mijares and Guerrier — with names that sound like they belong to partisans in some European civil war or something. In fact, I’m pretty sure those were the names of the five main characters from a Hemingway novella I read back in college. I’m blanking on the title right now and don’t have time to check, but trust me, those are the dudes. Keppel was a German defector — once a mid level Weimar bureaucrat — unhappy with the sinister influence that had come to his homeland and trying to find meaning in the world. Liriano had been close with Franco in their youth, but suffered a falling out over a woman, and now no man truly knows the reason why he fights. Dickey — the narrator — was a laconic American expatriate with a deep secret. Mijares and Guerrier, often mistaken for brothers, but unrelated, had met in France after the Great War and formed a life bond. At the risk of giving away the ending, I’ll say that it was sad to see those two die in each others arms, their chests pierced by the same Fascist bullet, even if we knew it was inevitable from the first chapter which foreshadowed their doom. Why yes, I was drinking a little last night as I wrote this. Why do you ask?

Rays 6, Red Sox 4: Bad night all around for the Sox as first Penny gets beat up (6 IP, 6 H, 5 ER) and then Jason Bay leaves the game with a hamstring injury. Sutcliffe made this one as unwatchable as usual. I didn’t click off, however, until the promos for the upcoming games were announced: we’re watching the Sox tonight, we’ll get the Sox on Sunday, and then the Sox on Monday. ESPN: Any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants so long as it is Red.

Yankees 8, Blue Jays 4: It was all chips and gravy for the Jays until the seventh, but then Swisher homered, Cano doubled, Matsui knocked him in, Molina walked, then Damon knocked in Matsui and Texeira knocked in Molina. Now come the Red Sox. They get Smoltz first, so there’s a good chance that the winning streak gets stretched to four.

Braves 6, Padres 2: Tommy Hanson is from San Berdoo (did the mullet tip you off?), so this was kind of like homecoming for him. Kevin Kouzmanoff was far more welcoming, however, as he hit into three double plays, including one that got Hanson out of a tight spot in the first. The Braves had 14 hits, every one of them singles, which is not something you see every day.

Nationals 5, Marlins 4: Wow, four wins in a row for for the Nats. Back to back homers by Zimmerman and Dunn in the first set the tone.

Giants 10, Astros 6: You really aren’t living right if you give up ten runs on 13 hits to the Giants. Joe Martinez wins his first ever major league start. Eli Whiteside, filling in for Molina unit #3VH162, which required some routine maintenance, hit a grand slam.

Mets 9, Cardinals 0: Jonathon Niese tore his hamstring — like really tore it and needs it repaired with surgery — and is now done for the year. Man, it’s tough to be a Met this season. His teammates weren’t fazed, though, and put the hurt on the Cards. Angel Pagan did a lot of the hurting, going 3-4 with four RBI.

Mariners 11, Royals 6: I still can’t fathom why Posnanski wants to give up getting paid to watch this team play every night. I mean, he’ll probably still watch them, but now he’ll do it for free.

Athletics 7, Rangers 5: Adam Kennedy, Scott Hairston, Kurt Suzuki and Cliff Pennington all went yard for Oakland, with Kennedy’s two-run blast serving as a difference maker in the sixth. Dallas Bradan was supposed to start but didn’t because he “had a swollen left ankle, which developed from a rash caused by a Neoprene guard used to protect his big toe when pitching.” I hate it when that happens.

White Sox 6, Angels 2: HI MY NAME IS JI



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  1. Gerry said...

    Not more than three hours ago, I finally got around to watching The Princess Bride. Good timing – I wouldn’t have had a clue what the “wheelbarrow and holocaust cloak” was about otherwise.

  2. Greg Simons said...

    If this comment string has legs like the recent Death Star debate, I will be a very happy fellow.

    No more rhymes now, I mean it!

    Anybody want a peanut?

  3. John_Michael said...

    The same Justin Lehr who the Reds signed in 2007, sold to the freakin’ Korean league, signed again with the Reds later in the year, was let go again and allowed to sign with the Phillies, then the Reds traded for AGAIN back in May?


  4. John_Michael said...

    John, I’d make you a MLT, but I’ve got my country’s 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I’m swamped.

  5. lar said...

    Moose – it was so much easier to watch Top Chef esp. since the always lovely Zooey Deschanel played such a big part. I think they did their best to put her face on screen for as long as possible. Not that I’m complaining…

    And, Craig, are you sure that’s the Hemingway story you remember reading? I thought it was a story about 3 ex-pats and their Spanish buddies who, after three straight days of sitting at a cafe drinking bottles of wine, head on over to watch the bullfight only to have something go terribly wrong. There’s nothing sharper than a bull’s horn, you know, and it can pierce the belly with the slightest of ease.

  6. Greg Simons said...

    Zooey Deschanel really is quite cute.  Does this mean we’ll be going on a tangent and providing “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” and/or “Elf” quotes?  If so, be sure to bring your towels, everyone.

    “Buddy the elf speaking, what’s your favorite color?”

  7. Mike Eller said...

    As a senior in college, I’m giving consideration going to law school. However, after reading your little Hemingway spin, I fear I may turn batshit insane.

    Good work though.

  8. themarksmith said...

    Zooey is pretty, and she looked pretty good in Yes Man, which was a lot better than I expected. And her voice in Elf is just awesome, in addition to everything else.

  9. John Willumsen said...

    Mark Eller:

    My guess is Craig was quite mad well before law school.  But as someone who is a couple months removed from being a senior in college and who is planning to go to law school in a year, I gotta tell ya, taking a year off and getting a job seems pretty worthwhile so far to me. It’s helped me gain perspective, gain a sense of what being a working schlub is like, and (since it’s a gov’t job) given me a sense of what dealing with bureaucracy and so forth is like. Plus it lets you refresh the batteries a bit.

  10. Daniel said...

    With no outs in the ninth and runners on first and third, Kendry Morales came to the plate to bat from the left side against Gavin Floyd.  Ozzie Guillen immediately went to the pen to bring in lefty Matt Thornton to get the platoon matchup.

    Kendry Morales, standing at the plate, smiling and watching Thornton warm up: You are wonderful
    Thornton: I’ve worked hard to become so
    Morales: I admit it, you are better than I am.
    Thornton: Then why are you smiling?
    Morales (switching to the other side of the plate): Because I am not left-handed!

    (Unfortunately he only hit a sac fly, but I needed to get that in here somewhere.)

  11. lar said...

    Greg, as much as I like Zooey and the Hitchhiker books (and “Elf”), I’m not sure any of those movies are all that quotable. However, if the thread ends up being all about her anyway, I don’t think I’d mind (and I suspect Craig wouldn’t either).

  12. Daniel said...

    Dang, screwed that one up.  I forgot the “Because I know something you do not know.”

    It’s a bad sign when I mess up quoting a Princess Bride line first thing in the morning.  It’s going to be a long day.

  13. Mike Eller said...


    Thank you for the advice. It’s refreshing to see someone who took a year off from school. Quite frankly, I’m getting sick of school and feel like going straight into law school would bring on more negatives than positives.

  14. Craig Calcaterra said...

    Mike—FWIW, I went straight through from high school to college to law school without taking any time off (getting married in the middle of all of that) and plopping out into the legal world just after my 25th birthday.  If I had it to do over again I would have taken a year off to see what the world was all about.  As it was, I was in an office environment after never having been there before, and it really took some gettng used to.

    It wasn’t a fatal thing, but I’d be lying if I said that my writing isn’t a burnout-coping mechanism, and that my burnout wasn’t at least partially due to never getting the kind of perspective on things that some time doing stuff other than the law can provide.

  15. Bob Timmermann said...

    I went high school to college to grad school and started fulltime work as a librarian at age 22.

    But now I have a lot of accumulated vacation and I go all over the place.

    Like Cleveland last year.

  16. Craig Calcaterra said...

    The dirty not-so-secret of the private law practice is that, on paper, you’re given four weeks of vacation a year—often more—but in practice you’re worked too hard and given too much billable pressure to ever take it. 

    And they STILL send you to Cleveland, only for work!

    Now that I work for the state I actually have real vacation.  Unfortunately I can’t take any of those days until I use up my “cost savings day” fulough days (thank you recession!).  I will be using some of those days to go to California in September, however, so it all works out.

  17. Craig Calcaterra said...

    And Bob:  Since I know you love Ohio so much I have to ask: do they ever make you take business trips here to Columbus to see OCLC (or whoever the Dewey decimal system people are)?  We’re quite proud of that as a city, you know.

    If so, we’ll have to meet up sometime to exchange public servant talk.  Note: my mandated cost savings days were due in part to a budget compromise that restored library funding, so you’re buying the first drink.

  18. Alan said...

    One way to fight Red Sox overload (a noble goal to be sure): focus on the Rays! Nice work by Price last night; I’ve always had confidence in him, and if he and Kazmir have really gotten their stuff together this is a very dangerous team. I can’t think of a better scenario than the Rays knocking Boston out of the playoffs a year after humbling the Yankees.

    I tend to view veganism as pure, unadulterated evil, but Zooey seems hard to dislike. Anyway her mom was on “Twin Peaks” and was a lovely Annie Glenn.

  19. Greg Simons said...

    Craig, turns out I’ll be in the Columbus area (Granville) next week.  Maybe we can catch the Clippers-Indy Indians game Thursday night, if I can get out of work on time.

  20. lar said...

    Clippers-Indy Indians?

    I had to check: So the Clippers (as in “clipper ships”) are the Triple-A affiliates of the Indians while the Indians (as in “indians”) are the Triple-A affiliate of the Pirates? Doesn’t that seem backwards?

  21. Craig Calcaterra said...

    Never thought of it that way, lar. Though to be fair, they’ve been the Clippers for 30 years, even when the Yanks and Nats were the affiliation.

    Greg—I may be able to do next Thursday. Buzz me offline.

  22. mike in brooklyn said...

    Craig—took a while to get used to the corporate environment?  I’m 45 and still not used to it.  Hope I never become so either.

    P.S.  I hope Drew wasn’t doing the downward dog n 2nd.  I find that image quite disturbing.

  23. Travis M. Nelson said...

    I know this is off topic, since I’m not talking about law school or the Princess Bride (I know it sounds cliche, but the book was an order of magnitude better, BTW) but doesn’t anybody else think that the Sergio Mitre Experiment in NY should be over by now? 

    The guy started by giving up 4 runs in 5.2 innings, then gave up 4 runs in 5 innings, then 5 runs in 3 IP, then 3 runs in 3.1 IP (last night).  He’s allowed 38 baserunners and 15 earned runs in 18 innings of work, and nobody’s even talking about bumping him from the rotation. 

    Let the Red Sox keep running an obviously ineffective starter out there every 5th day.  There’s no good reason for the Yankees to do it, too. 

    Speaking of which, has anyone noticed that John Smoltz has only one start against even a mediocre team offense?  Five of his seven starts have come against Baltimore (3), KC and Oakland, three of the five worst hitting clubs in the AL, and another came against Washington, who’s mediocre in the NL but would be 3rd worst if they were in the AL.  The only decent hitting team he’s faced is Texas and he gave up 6 runs in less than 6 innings of work.  What are they thinking?

  24. MooseinOhio said...

    lar –

    You may be on to something with Pirate and Clipper connection as the Columbus team used to be affiliated with the Pirates prior to their long-term affiliation with the Yankees.  John Galbreath (former Pirates owners) are from Columbus and he was instrumental in bringing the team back to Columbus.

    I could never make sense of how Clipper related to the team as the Scioto River that runs through Columbus cannot handle much more than a bass boat.  Also, had someone try to tell me that Columbus sailed on a clipper ship but that would have been impossible as they were primarily a British ship from several centuries after 1492. Another time someone claimed it was in honor of Joe DiMaggio but that cannot be true because the Clipper became the name when they were with the Pirates.

    Maybe there is some kind of pirate/clipper ship connection I am not aware of – it makes much more sense than any other explanation I have heard.  Not sure if Craig will agree with me but Columbus has struggled with naming it sports team. For example, Columbus Bluejackets (NHL), Columbus Crew (MLS), Columbus Horizon (CBA?), and Ohio Glory (some football league).  Outside of an ECHL hockey team in 1990’s named the Chill, Columbus has dropped the ball/puck on the naming sport franchises.

  25. Craig Calcaterra said...

    Well, I GUESS we can talk about baseball if we must .  . .

    I really don’t get the Mitre thing. His outings are so short that he’s hurting the bullpen over the long haul.  If they’re going to insist on using him, why not at least designate him and Hughes as a two-headed starter and stretch out Phil like they said they’re going to.  If it works, you’ll have an actually effective 5th starter soon (Hughes) instead of whatever Mitre is.

  26. Craig Calcaterra said...

    Moose is right. We suck at naming teams.  When the NHL expansion franchise was announced I was strongly in the “Mad Cows” camp. It was topical, Columbus is a cow town, people who ring those bells at the Columbus Clippers games could have repurposed them for hockey. It would have been awesome!  But no: we get the “Blue Jackets.” Which may be a civil war reference. Or may be a bug.  Or, based on the mascot, is kind of both. Blah.

    But then again, when you’re in the middle of Ohio, have no notable topographical features, no interesting native fauna, and not even that much in the name of history, whaddaya gonna do?

    James Thurber was from Columbus. He wrote that story based on the Red Barber phrase.  Let’s call the baseball team “The Columbus Catbirds.”

    Makes more sense than anything else.

  27. Nate said...

    Also, there are two types of people: those who love The Princess Bride and those who waven’t seen it.

  28. lar said...

    Yeah, those names are problems. Like Craig said, though, the state of Ohio just might not have enough going for it to produce great names. I mean, the state motto seems to be (I’m sure the “official” one is different) “The Birthplace of Aviation”, but not because that’s where the first flight was. No, it’s because the Wright Brothers and John Glenn were *born* there. It’s literally true, I grant you that, but it seems misleading.

    The Reds, Bengals, Browns, and Cavaliers are all good names but a) they’re not from Columbus and b) they have little to do with the state or local features either. (The Blue Jackets is a terrible name, by the way. I had no idea it was supposed to represent anything other than a flying insect, and it just sounds dumb.)

    Why not something simple like the Columbus Explorers? The Clippers at least sounds like a cool name even though it obviously had nothing to do with Christopher Columbus (who sailed on galleons, if I recall correctly).

  29. MooseinOhio said...

    For the Top Chef discussion – Zooey’s mother looked like she may have spent a bit too much time int the sun.  Also I have been jonesing for a good hamburger all day as I’m with Michael and Art on the need for meat in a diet.

    For the Princess Bride discussion – was there never a sequel because Rob Reiner feared it would have been as bad as Caddyshack 2 or because Manny Patinkin had already begun his walking way from a good thing act?

    For the Columbus struggles with names discussion – I liked the Mad Cows but thought they could have done something with the Jack Hanna/Columbus Zoo connection as well but was taken aback with the Bluejackets.  Also lots of Buckeye supporters struggled with the idea of a Columbus team with ‘blue’ in the name – go figure.

  30. Greg Simons said...

    RE: Thurber, how about the Columbus Carnivals?

    Emily Deschanel – I’ll make no “Bones” about the fact that she’s easy on the eyes too.  Bad joke, but I couldn’t help it.

    My best friend doesn’t care for “The Princess Bride.”  I’m almost surprised he’s still my best friend, but I decided to just let it go.

  31. Travis M. Nelson said...

    Moose, there’s no sequel to the movie because there’s no sequel to the book.  William Goldman wrote it a long time ago and his introductions to the later editions pretend that there was a sequel to S. Morgenstern’s “The Princess Bride” called “Buttercup’s Baby” but there isn’t because of course there’s no S. Morgenstern either.  He made it all up. 

    It’s a great ruse – pretending that he discovered and edited this classic novel that was supposed to be a satirical history and turning it into an epic romantic comedy – but it’s all just a ruse.  And he keeps it going with all of the stuff he writes surrounding each new edition, teasing the reader to think that he’s had all these interactions with Stephen King and other Hollywood types about getting it made into a movie and even has a pretend first chapter at the end of one version, but it’s all just a wild goose chase. 

    In the days before the internet I imagine it was a lot harder to realize that he was pulling your leg all that time.  I didn’t know it until a couple of years ago, and I read the book in college, 15 years ago.

  32. Mark said...

    Two notes from the Mets game:

    1) Failcoeur drew a 5-pitch walk where the bat didn’t leave his shoulder and amazingly enough it was not intentional.

    2) Watching Niese try to throw that practice pitch was painful and then SNY felt the need to show it to us a few more times.  Not that it is an excuse for the lack of depth or anything but the Mets have definitely had more than their share of injuries this year.

  33. Alex Poterack said...

    Two notes from the Mets game:

    1) Failcoeur drew a 5-pitch walk where the bat didn’t leave his shoulder and amazingly enough it was not intentional.

    Hmmm, that should be some sort of Failcoeur insult: swings at so much, one time he drew a 5-pitch intentional walk.

  34. Wade said...

    As a Bravos fan, the NL East is looking more defined in a not-too-favorable way.  And now to Los Angeles to tangle with Los Dodgers.  Oi vei.

    Have fun storming the castle.

    Good Thursday everybody.

  35. Ben2009 said...

    My favorite Sutcliffe moment last night came in the 8th when TB brought in Jeff Bennett.  Play-by-play guy said Bennett had just signed with TB after being cut by the Braves.  I don’t know Bennett from Adam, but I’d think that a reliever cut in August from a playoff-contending team maybe isn’t so good.  Sut went on for at least a minute about how much he’d always “liked” Bennett, a “hard sinker type of guy” (or something like that). 

    Bennett proceeded to walk the first guy I think on 4 pitches, start 1-0 on the next guy, draw a visit from the pitching coach, give up a ringing hit, and then was taken out. 

    During all this, Sut skewered Bennett and practically cheered when Maddon took him out.  He didn’t mention how much he liked Bennett as Bennett was walking off the mound.

  36. Dre said...

    Drew attempting to go for 2B on his base hit up the middle assured the 4th run scored… very smart baseball play.  Give up an out for the run. DBacks ended up needing that extra insurance run when Qualls gave up 1 in the 9th.  If Drew doesn’t try to stretch his single we get a play at the plate and the game potential could’ve gone to extras.

  37. MooseinOhio said...

    With the Sox losing again to the Rays and Sutcliffe ramblings it was much easier to switch over to Top Chef – Masters and leave the Sox game in the little screen in the corner with no audio.

  38. Greg Simons said...

    Thanks for the Princess Bride reference, Craig.  It produced a genuine LOL moment, which is much needed this morning.

  39. John_Michael said...

    Corey Hart: Where is this Count Mota now, so I may kill him?
    Prince Fielder: He’s in the castle with the prince. But the castle gate is guarded by thirty men.
    Corey Hart: [angrily kicks a stool, then calms down] How may do you think you could handle?
    Prince Fielder: I don’t think more than ten.

    Methinks the 5 security guards on the Dodgers’ side wouldn’t stand a chance…unless one of them had six fingers on his right hand.

  40. Alan said...

    Really? I like “Princess Bride” fine, it’s a charming little movie, but as these things go it isn’t nearly in the same class as, say, “The Black Stallion.” (Whose DP was Zooey’s dad Caleb Deschanel. See what I did there?)

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