Marlins 6, Astros 2: Two teams that, one day, we’ll all sit around and say “yeah, I totally forgot that Pudge played for those guys.” Stellar game for Ricky Nolasco (CG, 3 H, 2 ER, 10K). Three more hits for Hanley.
Mets 9, Braves 4: Derek Lowe’s worst outing of the season (3.2 IP, 11 H, 8 ER) negates the Braves’ early four-run lead. Martin Prado removed for a severe headache and will now go back to Georgia for tests. When the Braves break bad, they really break bad.
Rays 5, Orioles 4: Every time I see Gabe Gross’ name I immediately think of Greg Gross, but before the conscious part of my brain concludes “different people,” the part of my brain that forms impressions and snap-judgments thinks “man, that guy has to be 100 years old.” I’m guessing this will only get worse as I get older. Hell, I picked Ivan DeJesus, Jr. in my Scoresheet League’s supplemental draft yesterday and I’d by lying if I didn’t think of the late-70s Cubs as I did it. Anyway, Gross hit a two-run homer, which ain’t too shabby for a 57 year-old guy who has hit only seven dingers over the course of his 17-year career.
Red Sox 10, Blue Jays 9: A couple of ugly starting pitching performances from Ricky Romero and Josh Beckett, but the Red Sox weathered the ugly storm a bit better. Kevin Youkilis returned from suspension. Dustin Pedroia left the team to be with his wife who gave birth. The little fellow was 5’9″ and 180 pounds. No word on the size of the baby.
Giants 8, Reds 5: A day after Jonah pimps Lincecum’s MVP case, Timmy drops a relative stinker (6 IP, 6 H, 5 R). The Giants pull it out, however, because they’re facing the Reds, who hath been baptized with a curse, and for whom a spirit of the air hath begirt them with a snare and for whom in the wind there is a voice which shall forbid them to rejoice. Or they just suck, I can’t decide which.
Tigers 5, Mariners 3: Porcello vs. Hernandez, the combined age of whom is 0.93 Moyers. Hernandez pitches better (7 IP. 5 H. 1 ER, 9K), but the Tigers beat up reliever Mark Lowe for the come from behind win. Bad day to be a Lowe in baseball.
Pirates 5, Brewers 2: Ross Ohlendorf is putting together a nice second half, and gave up one run over seven innings at PNC last night.
Angels 5, Indians 4: I ripped this observation off of someone on Facebook, but it’s worth repeating to those of you who, unlike me, have real live friends: The batting averages of the Angels nine starters after last night’s game: .308, .310, .310, .313, .303, .307, .300, .300, 313. For those of you who care, two teams — The 1927 Philadelphia Athletics and 1930 St. Louis Cardinals — each had ten players who hit over .300 during the same season.
Rockies 4, Nationals 3: Carlos Gonzalez homers for the third straight game. From the game story “Washington’s first game since signing No. 1 draft pick Stephen Strasburg to a record $15.1 million contract drew a crowd of only 18,192 — about 5,000 lower than the team’s average attendance this season.” Well, it’s not like he was gonna pitch or anything. What, people are supposed to show up at the ballpark due to their euphoria that Boras got a couple million dollar commission? It’s still the 2009 Nats we’re talking about here and it was still a horrible hot and humid Swampland night.
Twins 9, Rangers 6: Joe Mauer went 3-5 with two homers and three RBI. I know we have more than a month of baseball left to play, but Teixeira-for-MVP people are going to have to start making their case in terms of “why Joe Mauer isn’t the MVP” as opposed to making Teixeira’s case on the power of some vague “run producer” noises. Seriously, tell me how a plus-defense catcher hitting .380+ with power is not worthy. My boy falls for the “I got your nose” trick, and even he wouldn’t buy anyone’s anti-Mauer argument at this point.
Royals 5, White Sox 4: Unless the question is “who can make one of baseball’s worst offenses look potent?” Freddy Garcia is not the answer (4.1 IP, 7 H, 5 ER). Bonus: “He worked very slowly, repeatedly fell behind batters and topped out at 90 mph.” Tasty! If Kenny Williams thinks the Sox were underperforming when they beat the Royals on Monday, I can’t imagine what he thought last night.
Phillies 5, Diamondbacks 1: Pedro started, the rains came, and Moyer finished with six scoreless innings. Pedro after the game: “You never know what you’re going to get when you put two old goats out there.” The life expectancy of a goat is actually only 16 years, max, so Martinez and Moyer were the combined equivalent of 5.188 goats. I promise that is the last time I use Moyer-to-English conversions this morning.
Dodgers 7, Cardinals 3: Chad Billingsley returns after missing a start and throws six decent innings, and Albert Pujols and Matt Holliday combine to go 0-for-8.
Padres 6, Cubs 3: A day after hitting a walkoff homer, Kyle Blanks hits an inside the park homer. Blanks is 6’6″ and 285 pounds. I am now going to find some video of that bad boy, because I can’t even picture a guy that big rumbling around the bases.
Yankees 7, Athletics 2: Sabathia wins his 14th and Derek Jeter goes 3-5. Jeter is 20 for his last 36. Game story: “Girardi spent the morning watching a joint practice between the Oakland Raiders and San Francisco 49ers as a guest of Niners coach Mike Singletary. Girardi met former Raiders coach John Madden and owner Al Davis. “Mr. Davis told me to tell Mr. Steinbrenner, ‘Hi,” Girardi said.” Huh. You’d think Davis would simply say hello to Steinbrenner himself at the next Big Conclave of the Supremely Evil.