And That Happened

Giants 9, Rockies 1: Lincecum comes back after missing a start and looks pretty good. He’s been sharper — he gave up six hits and walked four — but he struck out 11 and gave up a single run in seven innings. San Francisco climbs to three and a half of back of the Rockies.

Cubs 2, Brewers 0: How many people looked at the schedule last spring and figured this series would matter? If it had mattered, we would all be marveling at Ryan Dempster’s clutch September performance (8 IP, 4 H — all singles — 0 ER). But it doesn’t matter, not by damn sight, so I’ll use this opportunity to rate the top 5 Swayzes:

(1) Red Dawn: “I never HEARD of it!” Tell me you didn’t see this movie as a kid and then wish, if only for a few moments, that the Russians and Cubans really would invade. I had an emergency backpack full of supplies in my closet and everything;

(2) Road House: “Pain don’t hurt”;

(3) Point Break: Where have you gone Johnny Utah, Buckeye Nation turns its lonely eyes to you;

(4) Next of Kin: This one was more ridiculous that Road House and Red Dawn put together, yet no one ever mentions it. Greatly, greatly underrated flick;

(5) Dirty Dancing: I really don’t like this one, but if you were 14 years-old in 1987 and you pretended you liked it, some girl somewhere was gonna make out with you, and for that dorks like me thank you, Mr. Swayze, wherever you are.

Yankees 5, Angels 3: Mark Teixeira hit a triple that made Torii Hunter lose his shoe (amazing pic of it here). Brett Gardner scored the go-ahead run on a double steal + throwing error extravaganza. With this makeup game, the Angels have three games in three days in three cities (Chicago, New York and Boston). Later in the evening as they lied awake in bed, with the echo from the amplifiers ringing in their head, they smoked the day’s last cigarette, remembering what she said, etc.

Reds 3, Astros 1: Jay Bruce makes his return after two months on the shelf and hits the go-ahead single. Outside of that time he told everyone that he doesn’t care what supplements he takes, I don’t believe I’ve given Bronson Arroyo a moment’s thought in the second half. So color me shocked that he now has 13 wins and is threatening to send his ERA under 4.00.

Athletics 9, Rangers 0: Brett Tomko (CG SHO 5 H) has underwear older than all of the A’s other starters, but he’s a been a better pitcher than just about all of them this year too.

Tigers 6, Blue Jays 5: Nobody puts Aubrey in a corner! Down three in the bottom of the ninth, Huff hits a three-run homer and the Tigers go on to win it in 10. OK, sorry about that. I’m taking this Swayze thing a bit harder than I thought I would.

Rays 8, Orioles 4: The losing streak ends in Baltimore, with the Rays scoring as many runs last night as they did in their previous seven games combined.

Twins 6, Indians 3: Jeremy Sowers leaves with a 3-0 lead after seven innings and then watches the bullpen give up six runs in the eighth. My Cleveland friends are so fed up with this garbage that they’re actually wanting baseball season to end so they can turn their full attention to the Browns. Think about that for a few minutes.

Cardinals 11, Marlins 6: St. Louis survives an emergency Todd Wellemeyer start by blasting the living hell out of Ricky Nolasco, Matt Lindstrom and three other Marlin pitchers. Matt Holliday = this year’s Manny Ramirez: he’s batting .371 with 48 RBIs in 47 games since the July 24th trade. In that time the Cardinals are 33-14.

Dodgers 6, Pirates 2: To the extent anyone was really worried about L.A., know that 10 of their last 18 games are against Pittsburgh and Washington, and many of them will likely go like this one.

Diamondbacls 4, Padres 2: Arizona pulls within two games of San Diego in the battle to avoid last place. Given the absence of any real pennant races this year, this is worth following.

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  1. Craig Calcaterra said...

    Jason: I agree that the Chippendale’s bit is in the pantheon, but for these purposes I tried to limit it to features in which Swayze starred. If I was going to include small roles, I’d have to include his pedophile motivational speaker in “Donnie Darko” too.  I’m guessing it bumps “Point Break,” but I could be persueded to let “Dirty Dancing” go, teenage makeout sessions nothwithstanding.

    Rob: Please tell me you read the thread on Swyaze’s death yesterday.  It’s intentional conflation of Swayze, Russell, Patrick Stewart and then a million others was almost a thing of grand majesty.

  2. Dr Paisley said...

    You forgot one:

    A-Rod: Carol Ann, if we’re going to be friends, there really is something I should tell you…

    Carol Ann: Adam’s Apple?

    A-Rod: What?

    Carol Ann: Adam’s Apple. Yankees don’t have Adam’s Apples, only ballplayers have Adam’s Apples. The first night that you came to town I noticed that you had yourself an Adam’s Apple.

    A-Rod: Then, then you know?

    Carol Ann: I know, that I am very fortunate to have a Yankee friend who just happens to have an Adam’s Apple.

  3. Jeremy said...

    You’ve gotta have To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar in your top 5. I know it’s atypical Swayze, but that’s part of what makes it great.

  4. Craig Calcaterra said...

    I don’t even know if my love of “Red Dawn” is ironic or not. I truly did like it when I was 11 or 12 or whatever. That said, I certainly appreciated just how silly and jingoistic and, well, bad it was when I got older.  As I sit here now—not having seen it in ages—I don’t know if my fondness for it is a nostalgic “#### I liked when I was 12” thing, or if I’m subconsciously and ironically giggling at the silliness of it on a “so bad it’s good” level.

    Irony: it’s tough game.

  5. MooseinOhio said...

    I agree with Jeremy that Swayze as Vida in To Wong Foo is worthy of the Top Five, though he was somewhat overshadowed by John Leguizamo as Chi-Chi.

  6. Jason @ IIATMS said...

    Between Roadhouse and PointBreak, I am not sure what’s a better find on a rainy/snow winter weekend with no where to go and nothing to do.

  7. Jason B said...

    Jason -

    They’re not Swayze-riffic, but other movies I could watch (and have watched) about 6 billion times include Die Hard, Ferris Bueller, Clue, and Naked Gun. They can fill a 90-minunte slot on a rainy Sunday afternoon (pre-NFL) like no other.

  8. Doracle said...

    It is indeed somewhat sad to see everyone around me latch on to the Browns, who look primed for another painful season.  I am left watching bits and pieces of games and longing for basketball season to start.  The Cavs should be fun.

    I’m glad I don’t care for football, as the Indians have given me enough ugly losses for one year.

  9. Richard in Dallas said...

    I bought Rangers playoff tickets last Friday.  Guess that falls under the same category as when plans for a Mavericks parade were made public after game two of the finals….

  10. Jason @ IIATMS said...

    Jason B: Agreed.  There are a bunch of those types of movies that make you put the clicker down.

    Stripes, Fletch, Caddyshack, etc. 

    /fears a major threadjack

  11. Daniel said...

    The Angels were actually in Anaheim on Sunday, although they played Chicago.  Which makes it worse, not better.  Couple that with the one off day they’ve had the last three weeks and this is a brutal stretch of games.

  12. Jack marshall said...

    Thanks for writing “lied,” Craig. I mean it—-I do that stuff all the time, and have a swarm of pedants swoop down on me. I feel like I’m in good company now…

  13. Craig Calcaterra said...

    I mess that stuff up all the time.  When I’m writing something for work or hardcopy publication I go back and check it, but I decided a while back to just let it go when it comes to the blog. I tend to err on the side of my (often improper)speaking voice here, and that’s how I’d say it.

  14. APBA Guy said...

    The Rangers are not the same team without Michael Young, Josh Hamilton, Hank Blalock, and Salty. Especially Young, whose quick, short stroke would have been useful against Brett Tomko last night. Tomko was not overpowering, but had excellent command, and used the wide strike zone provided by Mark Carlson.

    Feldman, on the other hand, didn’t have the command of his sharp breaking stuff I’ve seen him have before, with the result that the A’s had a lot of gap shots with men on base.

    Also, as a very young team the A’s are evolving and the cash strapped Rangers scouting has not kept up. All three of Ryan Sweeney’s doubles came on pitches to the exact same spot, low and outside, and he hit all three into the left center gap, making the fence twice despite the rain softened turf. Two months ago those pitches would have yielded soft pop ups but for the past month he’s been pounding that pitch.

    The A’s are now 2 games over .500 since the Matt Holliday trade after going 40-55 with him and Giambi to start the season.

    I always wanted Swayze to do more comedy after seeing him on SNL. Kurt Russell extended his career with comedy work, some of it pretty funny, like Used Cars and Captain Ron. It would have been fun to see Swayze in some physical comedy roles to add to his action and romantic leads.

  15. Jeff Polman said...

    What?  No mention of “Ghost”??  I know it has a beyond-schmaltzy ending but it makes up for that with the erotic pottery scene and is actually one of the most entertaining Swayze films.  And now, sadly, he gets to play that part for real.

  16. Chris H. said...

    Any goodness in Ghost is counterbalanced by (A) the schmaltz, and (B) Demi Moore.

    Craig, are you a regular on Fark?  Sometimes the Fark threads are a thing of awesomeness, and (as my way of dragging this back on-topic) I even had a baseball link greenlit a while back (

    On the other hand, the 9/11 thread was rough indeed.  Good…just rough.

  17. Craig Calcaterra said...

    Not a regular. Not too frequent a reader anymore, though I used to read everything there a couple of years ago.  I just happened to read the Swayze thread last night because I figured there could be gold there.

  18. Alan said...

    Much better right-wing fantasy than “Red Dawn”: “Uncommon Valor.” Swayze’s very good in it. Also, Gene Hackman.

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