Twins 8, Tigers 3: You say the Tigers all but put it away yesterday? Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that the Twins, here, were only MOSTLY dead. There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive.
Nationals 2, Braves 1: Of course with all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do. And now that the Rockies have clinched the Wild Card, we’re simply going through the Braves’ clothes looking for loose change. Tommy Hanson is some loose change. He didn’t win, but seven innings of one-run, nine strikeout ball probably clinched the Rookie of the Year award. More generally speaking, I’m proud of my team for not mailing in the last month of the season like so many of us out here in Braves Land thought they would. Last winter I said this team was really shooting for 2010. Based on how 2009 is ending, 2010 looks pretty good right now.
Rockies 9, Brewers 2: Congratulations Colorado. After the horrendous start to the season and the canning of Clint Hurdle, I don’t think anyone gave them a snowball’s chance, but here they are with the wild card. Well, for now anyway. If they sweep the flaccid Dodgers this weekend, they win the west. If you’re Colorado, do you try to make that happen, or do you try to rest regulars over the weekend and hope to get back at the Dodgers in the NLCS?
Cardinals 13, Reds 0: Somebody obviously rubbed Chris Carpenter’s balls down properly! Five innings, zero runs, a grand slam and a two run double. In an effort to extend his campaign of accusation and gamesmanship, however, La Russa protested the outcome of the game. Always keep ’em guessing. That’s Tony’s motto.
Red Sox 3, Indians 0: If I were Eric Wedge I’d play this garbage 100% straight. Hold a team meeting before tonight’s game. Give serious sounding quotes to the media suggesting that I was still passionately interested in the development of this team. Play it up so much that someone would feel obligated to subtly remind me that I was fired already. As for Boston, it had to be nice to see such a strong start from Lester after last week’s comebacker. The next time we’ll see him is Game 1 against the Angels.
Astros 5, Phillies 3: Cliff Lee was shaky last night. And down the stretch in general, going 2-4 with a 6.13 ERA in his past seven starts. I guess he’s the Game 1 starter, though who the start will come against is still to be decided.
Orioles 3, Rays 2: “From the tracks on his arms, large caliber wound, proximity to a heroin market… I’d say it was a heated dispute about the symbolism of red and blue in 18th-century French romantic poetry.” Yeah, I know they won. They still get a H:LOTS quote.
Rangers 11, Angels 3: After questions swirled regarding Kevin Millwood’s health and whether the Rangers should allow his option to vest, he comes out and wins his last three starts. This one was a ten strikeout, 122-pitch complete game, and as the Rangers enter the offseason, the question of who the veteran anchor of the rotation is going to be has suddenly disappeared. As for the Angels, this was merely a tuneup. John Lackey only threw 40 pitches, and he’ll start Game 1 against the Red Sox.
Mariners 4, Athletics 2: A two-run single for Mike Sweeney in the fifth puts Seattle over the top. Given that he’s at the end of a one-year contract, it could be Sweeney’s last moment of glory in the big leagues.
Giants 7, Diamondbacks 3: A day of curtain calls. Rich Aurilia played in what is almost certainly his last home game for the Giants and Randy Johnson pitched the ninth inning. I suppose, theoretically, he can pitch over the weekend in San Diego, but his presence on the active roster is less about helping the team right now than it is about going out with his boots on as opposed to the DL. If I’m Bruce Bochy I let the Big Unit finish his career high-fiving his catcher and teammates.
Pirates vs. Cubs: Postponed: It’s harder to lose 100 games if you only play 161!