As if my man-crush wasn’t big enough

Dear lord:

After opening the third inning with a fly out, Pujols returned to the Cardinals clubhouse to review video. There he predicted to assistant hitting coach Mike Aldrete that his next at-bat would ricochet off the yet-to-open Royals Hall of Fame behind the visitors bullpen in left field. “He didn’t say he might hit the Hall of Fame. He said he would hit the Hall of Fame,” Aldrete recalled . . . When Meche finally threw the pitch, Pujols swatted it some 423 feet off a Hall of Fame window.

Screw LeBron. We are all witnesses to Albert.


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J.W.
14 years ago

A coalition of top siesmologists has petitioned MLB to avoid scheduling any interleague games between the Orioles and Cardinals for fear that the planet would be torn asunder by the epic earthquakes that would occur if Matt Wieters and Albert Pujols were ever to face off in a meaningful game. (When pressed for a definition of meaningful, the seismologists—who requested anonymity for fear of the potential repurcussions of even using the two names in the same sentence—said, “well, let’s just say there would have to be more on the line than just which league gets home field advantage in the World Series, ok?”). When asked if the petition, which was signed by thousands of the world’s leading scientists, made mention of a possible World Series match-up, the spokesperson for the seismologists—or SATCOT, for seismologists against the clash of the titans—responded, “Eh, it’s Baltimore. Get back to us in 2011.”

Greg Simons
14 years ago

With the bases loaded this season, Pujols is now 4-for-4 with 3 HR.  He might be a pretty decent little player some day.

Splint Chesthair
14 years ago

I’ve been a faithful Pujolsian since that homer off Brad Lidge in the NLCS.  Until that day, I thought a stadium having the air sucked out of it was a metaphorical cliche.  That night you actually heard the whooshing and Andy Petitte mouthing the words “Oh My Gawd.” was just the cherry on top.

Keith Law
14 years ago

Wait – *assistant* hitting coach? WTF? Is MLB going all NFL and soon we’ll have a shortstops coach and a left-handed relievers coach and a deputy assistant to the assitant hitting coach?

Ron
14 years ago

I’ve stood at, or more accurately, below, the spot where that homerun hit.

It would have cleared the walkway of the old configuration and left the park. I believe only Carl Yaztrzemski has done that to LF in Kaufmann Stadium.

It was either the longest or 2nd longest ball hit at the stadium that I am aware of.

Michael
14 years ago

There by the grace of Pujols goes God.

Bill B.
14 years ago

I bet the story is embellished, but still pretty entertaining.

Alex Poterack
14 years ago

“A coalition of top siesmologists has petitioned MLB to avoid scheduling any interleague games between the Orioles and Cardinals for fear that the planet would be torn asunder by the epic earthquakes that would occur if Matt Wieters and Albert Pujols were ever to face off in a meaningful game.”

Washington and Baltimore play every year—what happens when Matt Wieters bats against Stephen Strasburg?

Greg Simons
14 years ago

Alex, you’ve just portended our doom.  Guestimating at next year’s schedule, apparently the world will end in 355 days.  Prepare yourselves.