Coach Mark McGwire, 2010

I handled the McGwire story seriously here, so now let’s have some fun with it:

[scene: Cardinals-Cubs game, summer 2010. Yadier Molina just struck out on four pitches and goes to talk to the hitting coach]

Molina: Hey Mac, Zambrano got me with the changeup last time. So I was looking changeup, and he busted me with the fastball. Did it look like I was cheating changeup?

McGwire: I’m not here to talk about the past. I’m here to be positive about this subject. You took a good hack at that last one.

Molina: Um, sure, but I need some help with my approach here. I feel lost up there today. Should I move back in the box a bit?

McGwire: Asking me or anyone else to answer questions about where to stand in the box will not solve the problem. If I answer ‘No,’ he will just come with the changeup again and you’ll be further out in front. If I answer ‘Yes,’ you risk public scorn and endless second guessing when you wait too long to react to the pitch.

Molina: Jesus, coach, you got anything for me?

McGwire: My lawyers have advised me that I cannot answer these questions without jeopardizing my friends, my family, and myself. I will say, however, that it remains a fact in this country that a man, any man, should look at more film before facing a crafty veteran like Carlos Zambrano.

Molina: Uh, thanks, coach.

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  1. Greg Simons said...

    I really wonder how this is going to play out from a P.R. perspective.

    May you live in interesting times, Mark McGwire.

  2. MJ said...

    If you changed McGwire to Joe Morgan, it’s almost word for word what he’d respond to during one of his chats when asked to predict some future event, like who he likes for MVP or who will win the WS.


  3. The Rabbit said...

    Every day for the past week, there has been some blurb that LaRussa is “close to making a decision” about next year. (I’m not a TLR fan for all of the reasons that Craig has espoused in the past.)
    Have I missed his all-important press conference?Is this announcement related to LaRussa’s status?

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