Deep Thoughts: Tim Lincecum Edition

I’m sure you’ve all seen this by now:

An officer approached Lincecum’s 2006 Mercedes and smelled marijuana as the pitcher rolled down his window. Schatzel said Lincecum immediately complied with a request to hand over the drug and a marijuana pipe from the car’s center console.

Lincecum pitched a two-hit shutout last June 29th, but this was his first career one-hitter.

Congratulations, Tim!

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  1. (Not That) Tom said...

    Tim Lincecum Facts:

    1. Tim Lincecum only smokes pot to give baseball a fair chance.

    2. Tim Lincecum would have more facts but, like, he doesn’t feel like doing it right now, man.

  2. lar said...

    I know I’m not the first one to make this joke, but…

    Wooderson: Say, man, you got a joint?
    MitchTimmy: No, not on me, man.
    Wooderson: It’d be a lot cooler if you diid.

    (I guess Timmy got the message…)

  3. Drew said...

    In listing the charges that Lincecum would face, why isn’t Driving Under the Influence of Drugs listed?  I hate to come to the comment thread here without a joke (I promise, I’ll bring two next time), but I actually take that sort of thing pretty seriously.

  4. Connecticut Mike said...

    Was anyone else amazed that the speed limit on I-5 was only 60 in that particular town?  Isn’t 5 pretty much the biggest highway on the west coast?  I’d be pissed if I got pulled over for going 74 on the highway.

  5. MJ said...

    A stoned driver exceeding the speed limit?

    here’s what I was thinking:

    Motorcycle Cop: Tell me, Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were going?
    Tim: Well, I got a 426 hemi here, 3/4 cams, nitro boosters, I can get ‘er up to as good as 155! Never do, though, of course, unless I’m chasing a cute chick in a Ferrari! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I guess I was goin’ about… 65, tops.
    Motorcycle Cop: SEVEN! SEVEN miles an hour! And normally, when I stop people, they pull onto the *shoulder*!

  6. Craig Calcaterra said...

    Drew: I can’t remember where I read it, but I did read last night that the officer made a point of saying (or notating) that there was no evidence of impairment in terms of his driving or any obvious level of intoxication. So while I think such a charge is usually on the table in these situations, it has already been ruled out based on the facts on the ground.

  7. Vinnie said...

    Not to spoil your joke, but it does say “pipe,” which I would interpret as your standard hash pipe. If he really were smoking from a one-hitter, wouldn’t the cop would confiscate the dugout and not just the pipe? Then again, it’s Washington so maybe the cops are more charitable.

  8. DonCoburleone said...

    Haha nice.  I knew little Timmy looked like a pothead.  Plus he grew up in the Northwest, so there was about a 96% chance that he smokes pot. I give it another 5-10 years before the entire west coast (Cali, Oregon, Washington) makes pot 100% legal.  It is already viewed by 99.9999% of people 35 and younger to be no worse than alcohol. (and lets get real people, alcohol is probably worse).

  9. smsetnor said...

    Cop: Are you okay?
    Lincecum: Yeah, sure.
    Cop: Yes sir?
    Lincecum: Yes sir.
    Cop: No, did you say “yes sir.”?
    Cop#2: I think he said “yeah, sure.”
    Pablo Sandoval: What’d you say man?
    Lincecum: When I said, “yeah, sure”, but what… literally what I said was “yeah, sure, sir.”

    Does this give new meaning to high five?

    Does Jose Canseco now come out and say that not only has he smoked with Linceum, but he’s his dealer and also dealt LSD to Dock Ellis in 72?

    What irritates me is that The Yankees and their big payroll get another advantage and skip through the DUI checkpoint yesterday while the Giants can’t help Lincecum at all.  BASEBALL NEEDS A SALARY CAP! MARK MY WORDS!

  10. Ross said...

    He’s referring to after the Game 6 Series win.  It’s been noted that several of the Yankees passed through a DUI checkpoint without anyone batting an eye after the champagne-soaked celebration.

  11. Brinko said...

    Hmmm. I have this friend who likes to, um, smoke pot. But he tells me that he’s never done it while driving down the street. It’s as dangerous as being drunk, he thinks. Yet I seem to hear about this more and more these days. Isn’t a little concerning that he was actually smoking while driving?

    Was my friend away stoned somewhere when they sent out the memo that stoned driving is safe?

  12. Vin said...

    Brian: It seems that Lincecum was not actually stoned at the time, but was pulled over for speeding and happened to have paraphernalia in his car. Perhaps he had not smoked, perhaps the effects had worn off.

    In any case, driving while stoned is absolutely not safe. I’ve met people who claim that it is, and that’s just bunk. It’s probably not as unsafe as driving drunk, but it’s still pretty bad.

  13. Pete Toms said...

    Didn’t the reports say the cop smelled pot when he appraoched Lincecum’s car?  If his car wreaked of pot I have to assume he was buzzed while driving.

    @smsetnor – cops in all 30 MLB cities would behave the same as the cops in NYC, goin easy on the drunk World Series winners.  Not arguing that is right or condonable (is that a word?) but jocks have been getting preferential treatment for a LONG time. 

    And we can argue another day, but cap leagues are inferior.  (The NFL is gonna abandon the cap)

  14. Pete Toms said...

    BTW, you don’t have your stash and your pipe in the front seat unless you are smokin and drivin.

    Is he gonna get suspended?  If he does, what a farce.

  15. Craig Calcaterra said...

    He won’t be suspended. I can’t find it now, but there’s a rule in the CBA which basically says that if you’re busted fot pot and not subject to jail time or are eligible for diversion or just get a ticket or whatever, you’re not subject to suspension.  I don’t know that there’s any punishment here.

  16. Daniel said...

    Connecticut Mike –

    I went to school in the Northwest and drove from Portland to Seattle several times.  Not only is the speed limit 60 for miles in either direction around the Olympia/Tacoma area, but there are highway patrol officers all over the place.  I speak from experience – I got busted going 78 there once.  They make up for the low speed limit by making speeding tickets relatively cheap – at the time (7 years ago) my 18 over was only like $95. I recently got one for 10 over in California for $168 (and that was my first one in 7 years).

    Anyway, I know you were all interested in a primer on the highway patrol in the state of Washington.

  17. smsetnor said...

    Sorry guys, forgot to hit the sarcasm button before relating the salary cap to DUI/Pot arrests.  I didn’t mean what I said about a salary cap.  I always forget how sensitive you New Yorkers are.  Especially you, AlexK.

  18. Jay said...

    I’m with Pete here… The cop smelled pot and I can tell you from personal experience, that stuff doesn’t burn itself. However, it’s just tough to prove that he was driving under the influence. All the cop could really do in that spot is issue a field sobriety test and pot most likely isn’t going to affect your balance or hand eye coordination enough to fail.

    And lar, you might not have been the first one to that joke, but it’s never been more appropriate given the picture in the accompanying article.

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