Deep Thoughts

Nate Silver runs a projection on A-Rod’s chances at passing Barry Bonds. That’s well and good and you can click through for Nate’s handicapping of the chances, but I’m struck by one of the positive indicators he throws out:

Perverse Incentives, Part I. Rodriguez stands to make a $30 million bonus if he breaks the all-time home run record. If he gets close, those are 30 million reasons for him to extend his career until he does, rather than consider early retirement.

At the risk of sounding like one of those awful wannabe populist columnists — and with the full realization that this would never, ever happen — how much fun would it be if A-Rod announced next week that he was donating his $30 million bonus to anti-drug charities? It would be delicious chaos, no? How does anyone root against him? Sure, you could call him a crazy, image-obsessed drug user, but think of the kids! He could even let Hank Aaron pick the charities! The columnists’ heads would ‘asplode.

These are the things I think about when I’m hopped up on cold medicine like I am today.

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  1. Chipmaker said...

    The Yankees should sign Bonds and DH him.

    Bonds costs $400k, the ML minimum.

    Every home run he hits delays the final $12M of Rodriguez’ bonus payments (tying and passing the ML record), makes him have to hit that many more to collect.

    Such a win-win deal.

  2. Eric Solomon said...

    I can’t believe ARod hasn’t already announced what you’re suggesting, Craig – maybe when he gets closer to those milestones he’ll make an announcement.  It’s about the only thing he can do to get people cheering for these achievements.

  3. Jimmy Mack said...



    You couldn’t come up w/ anything more ethnically insulting? 

    I mean, what is that if not a phonetic representation of the word “explode” spoken w/ a foreign accent?  How does it tie in to your post?

  4. Craig Calcaterra said...

    Jimmy, are you serious?  How is “‘asplode” ethnically insulting?  Exactly what foreign accent is that supposed to be?  My intent in using that was to mimic kid talk. As in the common habit of dropping g’s and making new prefixes that many children—my own included—often use.  Think “spusghetti” or “nothin’” or things along those lines.  Designed, in this case, to color the post with a spirit of shallow, juvenile silliness in which it was intended.

    Of course now that I actually had to sit and write it out it loses all meaning and even the miniscule bit of humor it ever posessed.

    But hey, if you want to be outraged at everything that could even be remotely considered offensive, be my guest.  Just know that you’re imagining any intent on my part.

  5. Nick said...

    Why are you being so offensive to young children?  Really,  mimicking those who use kid talk; could you be any more insulting?

    In case this is misinterpreted, this was meant to be a light-hearted joke.  Please, no need to get offended, particularly if you’re unaware why it’s offensive.

  6. QB said...

    I thought asplode was supposed to be a reference to an old Strong Bad e-mail. How weird if you came up with that on your own.

  7. Aaron Moreno said...

    Yeah, when I saw “asplode,” I was wondering if Craig read the SBEmail too.

    Also, I didn’t know “foreign” was an accent.

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