Look, when I die, there’s just one kind of favor I’ll ask of you: you can see that my grave is kept clean. Other people require more complicated things:
Two years ago, when Dennis Mascari went to visit his father at a cemetery, he came up with an idea: Build an area for deceased Cubs fans. Mascari, who said he was broke at the time, made this his mission, and tomorrow his company Fans Forever will open Beyond the Vines, an internment area modeled after Wrigley Field’s centerfield wall.
Does it smell like stale Old Style and Lincoln Park Trixies too?
Those that buy space must be cremated. Mascari says the average cost of cremation is in between $3,000 and $5,000 . . .
What could possibly justify a price spread on cremation? You’re either cremated or not, right?
. . . the “Eternal Skyboxes” Mascari sells start at $1,295. The average cost of a traditional burial is about $8,000. “When I started thinking about this, it had nothing to do with the economy,” Mascari said. “But now, it just makes sense.”
Meh. If he really wanted to take advantage of the new frugality he would have gone with composting. Sure, it’s a bit icky at first, but you’ll always remember dear old dad fondly when your perennials come up lively each spring.
After Mascari does this successfully in Chicago, he says he’s thinking about taking it to New York and presenting the idea to Yankees fans.
You know, for as morbid as it is, I bet that he’ll sell more premium real estate in his park than the Yankees have in theirs. It’s simply a better value to spend your time dead in Mascari’s place than alive in Steinbrenner’s.
(Thanks to Pete Toms, a man who knows the kind of stories I like)