The Reading Phillies are looking for big eaters to attend Gluttony Night when the New Britain Rock Cats (Twins) visit FirstEnergy Stadium on Tuesday, May 19 for a 6:35 PM game.
For just $12.00 fans can eat as much as they want from the time the gates open at 5:30 PM until the 7th Inning Stretch. Hot dogs, French fries, pizza, funnel cake, ice cream and fountain drinks are all included in a Gluttony Night ticket.
A pre-game eating contest is also scheduled and sure to delight the crowd. Competitors will race to devour each of the six concession items available on the Gluttony Night menu. The items must be consumed one at a time, in the order of personal choice to bring a little strategy to the proceedings.
I’m not sure if this is evidence of the greatness of America or the reasons why our enemies hate us.
I do know, however, that if you’re going for volume, stay away from the funnel cake. It may seem like a nice fluffy confection, but it will bore its way into your bowels and make you wish you had never been born. It’s also insanely cheap to make, so you’re really not coming out ahead financially either. Ice cream may be your best bet. Dairy is getting expensive, so there are lower margins on that stuff, and unless you’re lactose intolerant, you’ll likely be able to keep level longer with the cold snacks than the hot ones.
Good luck. We’re all counting on you.