Jeff Francoeur has the worst blog in the history of the planet

Via BTF, here’s what may be the worst “celebrity” blog of all time. Jeff Francoeur’s. It’s obviously put together by either his P.R. people, his sponsors, or both, as evidenced by constant references to the products either he or the Braves endorse:

Not only do the Braves get to play in one of the nicest facilities in the Grapefruit League, but we’re literally stationed right on the Walt Disney World property at Disney’s Wide World of Sports . . .

. . . Because of the space between all of us, we do a lot of traveling on the road (instead of flying) this time of year. It takes us all back to our days in the minor leagues, where we travelled everywhere on busses and always wished we could just hop on a Delta flight . . .

. . . But the newest feature, which was added last year, is the massive Chik-Fil-A cow on top of the stadium, which has a mechanical arm that does the ‘tomahawk chop’ during games. It is 40 feet high and weighs over 15,000 lbs.

As Primate Dan Szymborski notes, there are 11 references to Delta Airlines on the front page alone.

Because Francoeur is the starting rightfielder for my team I am ethically obligated to wish no harm to come to him. That said, if anything were to happen to the server that hosts his transparently phony and cynical little blog, I would likely not cry big tears.

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Comments

  1. Bill said...

    O.M.G.

    Well, *somebody* sure thinks that anyone who would ever read one of those “blog” things they have on that “internet” out there is a moron. Or eight.

    What kind of cost-benefit analysis came in here? Someone is spending a lot of time (and it’s obviously not Jeff himself, so someone is also spending a lot of money) writing up these intricate and long-ish posts that (a) make the site’s namesake out to be a vapid lamppost and corporate whore and (b) shamelessly try to sell products and services. But what kind of traffic is jefffrancoeur.com really going to get? How many people would have to click through to that blog and actually get through the whole thing in order to justify the expense that I can only assume Delta and Chik-Fil-A chiefly bore in ordering it written? And even assuming the answer is “enough,” *would* that kind of advertising actually work on anyone older than eight? And eight year olds themselves would have to (a) spell Jeff’s last name correctly, (b) read a long and generally pretty dry blog post, and (c) somehow convince their parents that they really need to fly Delta or go to Chik-Fil-A. 

    I realize I’m putting way too much thought into this, but that’s only becuase it’s MIND-BLOWINGLY CRAZY.

    http://the-daily-something.blogspot.com

  2. Bill said...

    O.M.G.

    Well, *somebody* sure thinks that anyone who would ever read one of those “blog” things they have on that “internet” out there is a moron. Or eight.

    What kind of cost-benefit analysis came in here? Someone is spending a lot of time (and it’s obviously not Jeff himself, so someone is also spending a lot of money) writing up these intricate and long-ish posts that (a) make the site’s namesake out to be a vapid lamppost and corporate whore and (b) shamelessly try to sell products and services. But what kind of traffic is jefffrancoeur.com really going to get? How many people would have to click through to that blog and actually get through the whole thing in order to justify the expense that I can only assume Delta and Chik-Fil-A chiefly bore in ordering it written? And even assuming the answer is “enough,” *would* that kind of advertising actually work on anyone older than eight? And eight year olds themselves would have to (a) spell Jeff’s last name correctly, (b) read a long and generally pretty dry blog post, and (c) somehow convince their parents that they really need to fly Delta or go to Chik-Fil-A. 

    I realize I’m putting way too much thought into this, but that’s only becuase it’s MIND-BLOWINGLY CRAZY.

    the-daily-something.blogspot.com

  3. BillyBeaneismyHero said...

    I wonder how much extra he gets paid everytime he name crops a corporate sponser.  Maybe this is part of his contract with the Braves.  I can see the conversation go like this:

    Francoeur:  Please don’t send me to the Royals!  I BEG YOU!  PLEASE!

    Frank Wren:  Well, then I guess you’re going to do a little…um…favor for the team. 

    Francouer:  What?  Anything!

    Frank Wren:  We’ll re-sign you at a price we deem worth, as long as you must start a blog.  In this blog, you must name drop a corporate sponsor of the Braves at least once in every post.  If not, I’ll send you to the Royals—or worse, the Pirates!

    Francouer (crying):  Please!  Anything but the Pirates.  Fine.  I’ll do it. 

    The End

  4. Chris Simonds said...

    “if anything were to happen to the server that hosts his transparently phony and cynical little blog, I would likely not cry big tears.”

    Craig,

    If there are any over enthusiastic hackers in your fan base (I’m an IT guy myself) you could be part of a lawsuit for cybercrimes with this post. Incitement or something.

  5. christopher said...

    I am not obviously not advocating anything, but it would be interesting to see how quickly “Jeff” edited his blog if Delta was replaced with american airlines or something.

  6. Jason @ IIATMS said...

    Wait, no one made the “Delta misses its on time arrivals as often as Jeff swings and misses” joke?

  7. Beanster said...

    Thanks to Craig, the Chik-Fil-A marketing folks will be reviewing their blog stats today going, “Damn, look at all them hits on Francoeur’s site!”

  8. Wade said...

    I’m with Bill.  It has GOT to be for kids or baseball newbies.  Sort of a “Hey gang…guess what I saw at the ballpark today?” kinda gig.  So sure, the superficial innocence is a nice, sticky-sweet icing on the shameless p.r./marketing cake, but what the hell?  What’s the alternative?  Let Jeff write it?  How would that go?  Is Jeff a competant writer?  WWJD?
    It’s GOT to be for kids.  At least I hope that’s the case.  I really, really, really hope that’s the case…
    Happy Thursday everybody.

  9. Nick said...

    If Jeff is so concerned about helping Dream House, maybe he should hit some more home runs. It was awfully thoughtless of him to hit only 11 last year.

  10. James said...

    Not that it makes it any easier to read, but the Delta references are surely because of this:

    “As some of you know, Dream House is an organization dedicated to helping medically fragile children, and I have teamed up with Delta to donate 25,000 sky miles to the facility for every home run that I hit. Dream House (which received almost a million sky miles last year from Delta) is then able to fly their children across the country to hospitals where they can receive the absolute best treatment.”

    …which makes it more understandable.

    I did not find any similar charitable hookups with Chik-Fil-A. Then again, Delta is the only corporate sponsor with multiple references.

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