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Dumb And Dumber

• 1997: Won the World Series after splurging in the free agent market. Won a thrilling seventh game in extra innings against the Cleveland Indians.
  
  
• 1997-98: Used any accrued goodwill from the World Series title to claim that the club lost over $30 million and held a fire sale for most of their top talent. In the October 18 New York Times Magazine, noted sports economist Andrew Zimbalist took a closer look at the numbers for the team. He discovered that then-owner Wayne Huizenga excluded the revenue from Pro Player Stadium's 195 luxury boxes and 10,000 club seats, all of which were diverted to his separate stadium management company. The club also undervalued its cable contract with Huizenga's Sportschannel Florida and paid Huizenga $5 million in rent on Pro Player Stadium. Zimbalist's estimate of the Marlins' actual bottom line: a $13.8 million profit.
  
  
• 1999: John Henry purchased the Marlins. Henry initially promised that he would build a park for the team himself, yet shortly thereafter he asked for $300 million in public subsidies for a new stadium. MLB also announced that it was taking the 2000 All-Star Game away from Florida in favor of Turner Field in Atlanta. MLB spokesman Rich Levin said: "We think these events should be in new stadiums…the Marlins have been told they will get an All-Star Game if they get a new stadium." Pro Player, that ancient relic, was 11 years old at the time.
  
  
• In 2000, rumors leaked out about another "fire sale" of the team's high-priced players following the end of the season if no new stadium deal was approved. Henry addressed questions about a coming fire sale, telling reporters:

  "Light is a particle and a wave, but logic would tell you it can't be both. The fact is, it is both. In our situation, it's a dilemma. It's a difficult choice; none works. It's not quite as esoteric as it sounds. It's not talking out of both sides of my mouth."

  
  On June 7, Henry went on the record as saying:

  “[The Marlins are in] a very dark situation. The community has basically given up on the Marlins. The franchise is in jeopardy….it certainly is an option to sell to someone out of state, but I love this organization. If I start thinking in terms of giving up, it's very hard to do what needs to be done.”

  
  
  
• In 2001 owners voted 28-2 to contract two Major League franchises. The Florida Marlins made the short list of contraction candidates. On April 25, Selig told the Florida state legislature that the stadium plan under consideration represented the “final opportunity for the Marlins to remain in South Florida.” Adding to the hilarity was Florida State Senator Alex Villalobos (the prime sponsor of a bill to help publicly finance a new $385 million stadium), who said he'd asked Selig to blackmail the legislature. "A lot of people have said it's a threat. I wanted it in writing. I didn't want it to be subject to interpretation," Villalobos said.
  Capping off the year was Henry’s claim that the Marlins lost $9 million in 2001, $4 million of that from lobbying expenses for a new stadium.
  
  
• In 2002 the Marlins were sold to Jeffrey Loria, who was fresh off successfully killing the Montreal Expos.
  
  
• In 2003 the Marlins won their second World Series in seven years and claimed to have lost $20 million. When asked to open their books to provide proof thereby justifying public subsidies, Marlins President David Samson replied: “Many private companies ask for public help—in tax abatements, incentives to move firms to new areas and other kinds of government help. And you don't see those companies releasing their figures.”
  
  
• In April 2004, the Las Vegas threat was first unveiled. Samson set multiple final deadlines for a stadium deal. Deadlines came, deadlines went, and the Marlins stayed. Then came Opening Day, a time for rejoicing. The birds were singing, everybody was in first place, fresh hopes abounded. Loria announced the start of this joyous time with:

  “We need a new stadium. Everyone has to get this damn thing done in the next 30 days. Miami is a major city. They got it done in Seattle and San Diego and Cincinnati and Pittsburgh and Colorado and Philadelphia and Milwaukee. They all have new stadiums, and we're not going to consider ourselves a major-league city until we get it done.”

  
  Nothing like insulting an entire city to get the baseball season off to a good start. Samson continued to bluster like a member of the Lollipop Guild with PMS. The Marlins finished the year with the laughable notion that Wayne Huizenga doesn’t like money and will evict the Marlins so that he can host cricket matches and God knows what else.