The Pujols Awards: Week 19 and 20e

Wow … nominations have become few and far between of late. I wasn’t going to do The Pujols Awards this week either but there are a couple I can use plus a lot has happened over the last few days that I’d like to deal with and I can use this forum to do so. And, best of all, I can drop things into all four categories this week.

The Alberts

Skip Caray (Submitted by Pat Senechal)

For doing something no one else in the media is doing: defending Barry Bonds.

I’m a bit paraphrasing from memory, but he noted that he feels for him, acknowledging that the media are casting him in a bad light on something he hasn’t been proved of doing yet. He added that if he controlled a team, he’d go for players who would help his team win, and Bonds has that. He wouldn’t sign a player who didn’t help the team. He then noted the Tigers should get him to stabilize the offense, then shot down Joe Simpson’s opinion to the contrary.

For having the gall to go against the media on a touchy subject, working for a team presided over by the man he passed for the all-time home run record, this is a clear Albert.

Albert Pujols (Submitted by Mike Cade)

I’d like to nominate Albert for an Albert (again). His reaction to hitting Padres pitcher Chris Young in the face shows someone who not only truly cares for other people, but does not mind publicly showing it, while not making a circus of it.

Jamie Moyer (Submitted by The Progenitor of Severe Gluteal Discomfort)

Why? Well to paraphrase a post I made on my blog at BDD, Moyer could not even find a job in 1992 and he looked like he may be done as a big leaguer. To that point, he was 34-54, with a 4.56 ERA (when a 4.56 ERA was nasty and not league average). He was signed by the Orioles in 1993 at age 30. Wednesday night’s win gives Moyer 200 wins since the year he turned 30.

Do you have any idea how rare that is?

It has been done 13 other times in major league history. Of note, Greg Maddux’s 350th win was also his 200th since the year he turned 30 years old. Here’s the complete list…

AGE >= 30

 WINS                                W
   1    Cy Young                    316
   2    Phil Niekro                 287
   3    Warren Spahn                277
   4    Gaylord Perry               238
   5    Early Wynn                  217
   T6   Randy Johnson               216
   T6   Eddie Plank                 216
   T8   Grover C Alexander          213
   T8   Lefty Grove                 213
   10   Jack Quinn                  203
   T11  Nolan Ryan                  202
   T11  Roger Clemens               202
   T13  Greg Maddux                 200
   T13  Jamie Moyer                 200

(Courtesy of Lee Sinins’ always awesome Complete Baseball Encyclopedia)

We’ll likely see Maddux and Moyer reach the top 10 in this category before the season is out. Other than Quinn (and possibly Clemens due to alleged PED use—although he certainly belongs) all are, or will be, in the Hall of Fame. Moyer is fifth all-time in wins in this category among southpaws.

It gives you an idea of how awesome Moyer has been since the Orioles picked him up for 1993. Since he turned 30 he has won 15 or more games in a season four times, twice over 20 (in 2001 and 2003), and between age 33-40 went 126-56 with a 3.77 ERA (league average ERA 4.67). Moyer was sixth in MLB in wins over that span and averaged more than 200 innings.

Well done, Mr. Moyer!

Sports Illustrated (Submitted by The Progenitor of Severe Gluteal Discomfort)

It might just be me but I found this cover to be totally wicked and absolutely Albert-worthy. If the Blue Jays cannot turn their season around (and amazingly I am still optimistic that they will) I’ll be rooting for the Rays to reach the postseason. Their fans certainly deserve a chance to be loud and proud.

The Luis

Major League Baseball (Submitted by The Progenitor of Severe Gluteal Discomfort)

Okay, you’ve exorcised the adipocreal melon of Barry Bonds from the sport and are content in your own bizarre little universe that PED have been purged from the game. Logic would dictate that celebrating somebody’s drug-free achievement would be the way to go. Well, Ken Griffey Jr. is going to be the first player untainted with even the suspicion of possible steroid use since the days of Willie Mays and Hank Aaron to hit 600 bombs.

I don’t buy for one moment the bullselig that 600 is the new 500, since prior to Bonds and Sammy Sosa only three men had reached the milestone, whereas before MLB instituted home run derby in 1998 12 players reached the 500-homer level. Six hundred bombs are amazing, period, and should be celebrated for the rare feat that it is.

It might not hurt for the grand poobahs of the game to ignore what they read in the papers and learn a little history.

The Toronto Blue Jays (Submitted by The Progenitor of Severe Gluteal Discomfort)

Let’s see … Frank Thomas is sent packing after 60 at-bats. Adam Lind is sent down after 19 at-bats. Brad Wilkerson is hitting .167/.255/.238 after 48 at-bats AND HE’S STILL THE JAYS’ FREAKIN’ LEADOFF HITTER???? Listen, if you’re bent (and if you’re not, I strongly suggest that you do so) and determined to give at-bats to guys who cannot hit or treats outs like women treat public restrooms and make sure they take somebody with them, then why not bring back Lind and tell him he’s there to stay even if he hits like the love child of the late Brad Wilkerson and Shannon Stewart. (They’re not dead? Well they’re killing me!)

No wonder the offense is totally clueless. Those guys take their cues from the folks above.

The Toronto Blue Jays (Submitted by The Progenitor of Severe Gluteal Discomfort)

Let’s see … Frank Thomas is sent packing after 60 at-bats. Adam Lind is sent down after 19 at-bats. Brad Wilkerson is hitting .167/.255/.238 after 48 at-bats AND HE’S STILL THE JAYS’ FREAKIN’ LEADOFF HITTER???? Listen, if you’re bent (and if you’re not, I strongly suggest that you do so) and determined to give at-bats to guys who cannot hit or treats outs like women treat public restrooms and make sure they take somebody with them, then why not bring back Lind and tell him he’s there to stay even if he hits like the love child of the late Brad Wilkerson and Shannon Stewart. (They’re not dead? Well they’re killing me!)

No wonder the offense is totally clueless. Those guys take their cues from the folks above.

(Oh my God, they‘re contagious!)

Manny being Manny

Manny Ramirez (Submitted by Ryan Buck)

As you know, Manny Ramirez high-fived a fan before finishing a double—just another day of Manny being Manny.

The Samsons

The Washington Nationals (Submitted by The Progenitor of Severe Gluteal Discomfort)

Unbelievable. The bloated, engorged leeches that make up the major league cartel are “demanding that the city cough up $100,000 a day in damages because, according to the Nationals, the stadium was not completed in time for Opening Night in March.”

Excuse me? You just received over $600 million in free money that could have been devoted to schools, health care, children’s services, libraries, etc. and you’re feeling cheated? Listen up you putrescent aromas of a just-opened exhumed casket—do you have any idea where the city’s funds come from? They’re tax dollars taken from everyday folks who are already doing with less just so you could have more. Now you’re demanding to root through the pockets of those whose income is a fraction of yours? (I was going to write “root through the pockets of those who earn far less than you” until it dawned on me that the taxpayers earn more than team owners who simply expect to be enriched without any effort expended on their part).

These are definitely the god-children of Bud Selig—a bunch of nymphomaniac fiscal succubi if there ever were one. The whole lot of them should be rounded up, stuffed into a time machine set to 1789 Paris where they knew how to deal with people like them. As a parting shot we could say “Let ‘em eat (bleep)!” To give you a hand in understanding what your new hosts are telling you, we’ll send along some baseball fans from Quebec to help you adjust.

For short-sightedness, small thinking, diminutive moral standing, undersized intellectual capacity, stunted mental and emotional development and having stooping so low that they got their nose hairs caught in their own fly and imprinted YKK on the skin between their nostrils. I award Nationals ownership “The Samson.” One of our friendly representatives has been dispatched wearing steel-toed boots to give you your just reward. To confirm its receipt he’ll be imprinting YKK on the steel toe.

If you have a nomination for the “The Pujols Award,” let us know! who deserves to be honored this week. If you wish to have your blog credited with the submission, we’ll post the link along with your candidate. Let us know why you feel he deserves an Albert, Luis, “Manny Being Manny” or “The Samson.”