November 21, 2009
Order NowThe Hardball Times Baseball Annual 2010 is now in development and will ship in mid November! This year's book will feature articles by THT's staff as well as Bill James, Tom Tango and Craig Wright. If you use this link to purchase the Annual, you will be in the first group to receive it and you'll be supporting THT. ![]()
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John Barten Brian Borawski Craig Brown Evan Brunell David Gassko Jonathan Hale Brandon Isleib Chris Jaffe Max Marchi Bruce Markusen Harry Pavlidis Jeff Sackmann Dave Studeman Steve Treder Bryan Tsao Tuck! Dan Turkenkopf Colin Wyers Geoff Young John Brattain And here's the full roster.
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The Pujols Awards: Week 9by John BrattainMarch 07, 2008 It’s getting close—you can feel it in the air! As the conclusion of the winter of our discontent nears, opportunity will abound for those in baseball to distinguish themselves for better or for worse or in their trousers. Already folks are stepping up to the plate and showing that they have class or are just a horse’s… For example, the idiots running the NL club in the Sunshine State are always good for a few induced vomiting sessions and you’ve gotta love Jeffrey Loria. He has sobbed, whined and sniveled about his sorry economic state. Since he so generously supports the Marlins even if it means eating Fancy Feast with his fingers while living in a rusted out 1973 Mercury Bobcat that is parked under a bridge, he needed hundreds of millions of tax dollars to ensure that his club has a nice place to play, but not get paid, in. South Florida let the terrorists win and Loria let folks know that the team’s payroll will again be less than his revenue sharing subsidies. Where does the extra money go? Well, Loria pulled into his parking spot at Roger Dean Stadium where the Ex-'Spos play behind the wheel of a new Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano most likely equipped with an Evenflo® Triumph Advance Premier child’s car seat riding shotgun for his son-in-law. Somebody must be doing well for himself, doncha think? He’s well on his way to be a finalist in our year-end “Pujols Awards” competition. At any rate, time to get started… The AlbertsTom Gordon (Submitted by Crashburn Alley’s Bill Baer) Tom Gordon gets an Albert for this: John Henry (Submitted by eTrueSports.com’s Frank Coffey) After Hank Steinbrenner’s rant about Red Sox Nation, when he bellowed: "Red Sox Nation? What a bunch of (nonsense) that is ... That was a creation of the Red Sox and ESPN, which is filled with Red Sox fans. Go anywhere in America and you won't see Red Sox hats and jackets, you'll see Yankee hats and jackets. This is a Yankee country. We're going to put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order." John Henry passed along everything required to make Hank a member of RSN and welcomed him aboard. For a stunt that would make Bill Veeck smile and demonstrating that he doesn’t take things too seriously, Henry gets an Albert. Of course I, for one, cannot wait until Hank and Larry "Lava-Lips" Lucchino get unzipped (metaphallucally speaking) in a good ol’ fashioned comparative genitalia size-evaluation competition and urination derby in the media. Tony LaRussa (Submitted by Keven Kiloran) I nominate Tony LaRussa, because he tried to get Bonds on the team. What a disgrace that this hitter is being colluded against by Butt Selig, etc. I am not a fan of the man, but I am a fan of watching great players play. The LuisThe Philadelphia Phillies (Submitted by Crashburn Alley’s Bill Baer) And the Phillies' front office gets a Luis for this: Hank Steinbrenner (Submitted by eTrueSports.com’s Frank Coffey) If you wondered where the sound of overjoyed shrieks and orgasmic sighs originated, the former from Red Sox Nation, the latter from Scott Boras and assorted player agents. What caused this burst of positive karmic energy? Hank Steinbrenner (an honorary member of RSN) opened his mouth to expel the built up pressure caused by synaptic flatulence. He opened the space between the cheeks on his face (although it is hard to tell most days which end is up) reverberating the following sound: “The truth of the matter is that as much as the players and managers want to win, no one wants to win more than myself and Hal and the rest of the family; it all starts at the top. So we should be making all of the final decisions, and we will.” (Bolding mine) Nothing would make those parties happier than knowing the next-generation Steinbrenners will be making personnel decisions for the Bronx Bombers. For subsidizing the tobacco industry by giving RSN and player agents the need for something to go with a post-orgasmic glow, Hank Steinbrenner gets a Luis. Tony LaRussa (Submitted by Adam Dorhauer and James Cole) This is more for last week, but I saw La LaRussa received a Luis Award for trying to convince the organization to pursue Bonds, and I think he deserved one more for the following quote on Scott Spiezio's release after the club learned alcohol was involved in a driving incident leading to six charges: If you have a nomination for the “The Pujols Award,” let us know! who deserves to be honored this week. If you wish to have your blog credited with the submission, we’ll post the link along with your candidate. Let us know why you feel he deserves an Albert or a Luis. Our good friend, and THT stalwart, John Brattain passed away on March 24, 2009. John was a prolific writer, whose work can also be read at Sympatico/MSN Sports and Baseball Digest Daily. John's work was also featured at USA Today, MLBtalk, ESPN Insider, Baseball Prospectus, The Baseball Analysts and The Baseball Journals. Never afraid to express himself in any medium, he was also a frequent radio speaker. Commenting is not available in this weblog entry. Do you have a general question or comment for one of THT's writers? Send it in to our weekly mailbag We also welcome unsolicited op-ed pieces of approximately 500 words for consideration. We reserve the right to edit for length, clarity and consistency of style. Please include your whole name and location to be considered. If you have a comment about this specific article, please email the writer. 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