The Hardball Times -- Carson Cistulli

A very zealous game report: Florida at Cincinnati

Carson Cistulli — 2009-09-29T05:01:15+00:00

This fortnight's report begins with a list. The list is called "Five things that have surprised me, Carson Cistulli, about living in Portland, Ore.." It concerns some things that've surprised me about Portland since I moved here two years ago. The relevance of the list will be revealed at its end.

The list begins right now.

1. There are basically zero Italians and Jews in Portland.

I'm not Italian-Italian, but I'm Italian enough. I mean, I got the last name, I got a bisnonno from the patria, I got a speaking voice that's inappropriate for indoors. Like I say, Italian enough. From my experience, Italians and Jews share a lot. Like the ability to raise guilt to an art form, for one thing. And excellent delis. And louder-than-necessary talking voices*.

*Funny because it's racist, or funny because it's true? You be the judge!

Well it turns out that neither group really made the trip out here—not to Portland, anyway. The absence of the the delis is a real blow. At Serio's Market in Northampton, Mass. you can get a giant corned beef sandwich for $4.50. That same sandwich, with some artisanal flourishes, is about eight dollars at Bunk in Portland. Sure, it tastes good, but come on: How much money you think I got?!

2. Everyone in the city of Portland is under 23.

Okay, not actually 23. Maybe more like 25. Regardless, it's crazy how young the populace is. It's just sad, is what it is: babies having babies having babies. I don't know exactly what that means, but I'm sure there's at least a kernel of truth in there.

On second thought, maybe it's not so much that Portland is actually young but just that it looks young. Part of the reason is probably that the only place to buy new clothes within city limits is American Apparel. I'm serious: Go to the website for American Apparel and you'll find that there are 137 locations in Portland. Do it now before it's too late.

The other reason people look so young is the tatts. Which, that's number three.

3. Everyone in Portland has a tattoo.

I want you to think for a second and ask yourself this question: "Would Carson Cistulli lie to me?" Because if the answer is yes—yes, Carson Cistulli would look you in the face and lie to you—then this just isn't going to work out. But if you think I'm the sort of guy who's gonna shoot straight, who's gonna tell it like it is, then believe me when I tell you: EVERYONE IN PORTLAND HAS A TATTOO.

Some of the tattoos are just designs. Some of them are of Mother Gaia weeping gently on account of what's happening to the forests. One girl I saw on the street had a one-to-one scale tattoo of Greg Oden all over her body. Lucky for her, she's seven feet tall.

4. Coffee can get really good.

I'm not what you'd call a gourmand. I'm barely even what you'd call "a person who knows how to use a fork." Still, I recognize that the coffee here is excellent. I don't know what they do to it or how. I do know that if you ask, they'll tell you for like 10 hours.

5. I met (and occasionally talk to) World Famous Baseball Writer Rob Neyer.

I think maybe there are aspiring young actors who move to Los Angeles with the idea that they'll meet, like, Quentin Tarantino or Jerry Bruckheimer. Just like, there are probably young politicos who move to Washington, D.C. in the hopes that they'll get all buddy-buddy with Orrin Hatch or whatever. I think it's probably not healthy to go about your life like that.

Which is why, when I moved to Portland, I never said, "I'm going to Portland so's to meet World Famous Baseball Writer Rob Neyer." Sure, I secretly thought about it, and maybe, yes, I wrote about it (at length) in my diary, but I certainly never said anything about it aloud. That would appear desperate.

Well wouldn't you know it, after all that, I went and met Rob Neyer anyway. I won't tell you the whole story, but I can tell you for sure that (a) it involved a planned encounter atop New York's Empire State Building and (b) we have a handshake so secret that even Neyer himself doesn't know it.

Why Rob Neyer is relevant to this report, again

The reason Rob Neyer is relevant to this report is on account of I WATCHED THE FLIPPING GAME AT HIS HOUSE!

I know: pretty amazing, right? Well, listen, I assumed that the Hardball Times reader would have some questions about Neyer and his house and everything, so I took the liberty of putting together what I considered a completely realistic, if totally fabricated dialogue between you and me.

You're the one in bold. Go.

First off, why come you were at Rob Neyer's house to begin with?
I was house-sitting.

Shut up. You were house-sitting for Rob Neyer?
Yeah. Well, remember how Neyer was tweeting from that one Giants game? He was in San Francisco. I wasn't. I was on his couch.

I don't believe you.
First of all, that's not a question. Second of all, you should believe me; it's true.

Okay. If you were house-sitting for Rob Neyer, what's his address, then?
I'm pretty sure I shouldn't just be giving that out over the internet.

You're right. How bout his phone number?
No.

Email?
[Disapproving look]

Okay. An actual question: What's Rob Neyer's house like?
Have you ever been to Hearst Castle?

Yeah.
It's sorta like that, except smaller and, instead of great works by the European masters, it has Starting Lineup-brand baseballing figurines.

Does he have all the Bill James Abstracts?
Yeah, and not just that, but he also owns a number of the prequels to the Abstracts. Nobody really knows about this, but James wrote them at the same time as the originals with the intention of releasing them afterward.

Oh, I know: How many flannel shirts does have?
I don't know if a googleplex is a real number, but if it is, then that's how many.

It's googolplex, actually.
Duly noted.

Last question: What's his address?
[Cartoonish sitcom-style sigh]

In case I didn't mention it

This is a report on a game that took place Sunday, Sept. 19, between the Florida Marlins and Cincinnati Reds. Ricky Nolasco pitched against Bronson Arroyo.

Why I watched

As I mention in a recent post over at RotoSynthesis, there's a lot of new talent working its way into the lineup over in Cincy. Drew Stubbs, Juan Francisco, Drew Sutton, Adam Rosales—all have gotten some PAs to work with. Furthermore, Wladimir Balentien has decided to approach his minor league numbers, posting an almost-respectable PrOPS of .262/.355/.391.

Also, I hadn't seen Ricky Nolasco pitch since his brief sojourn in the minors. Since said demotion, Nolasco has posted a K/BB of 142/29 in 133.2 innings and held batters to a line of .233/.274/.383.

Dramatis Personae (with stats at gametime)

The starting lineup for Florida was:

Batter		        Pos.	PrOPS		Notes
Chris Coghlan 		LF  	.289/.361/.420 	
Nick Johnson 		1B	.317/.504/.468	Dork heartthrob. PrOPS GPA of .344 w/Florida!
Hanley Ramirez 		SS 	.289/.361/.489  PrOPS are surprisingly pedestrian.
Jorge Cantu 		3B 	.285/.340/.439  
Dan Uggla 		2B	.270/.379/.510  	
Cody Ross 		RF	.271/.321/.464  	
Ronny Paulino 		C 	.284/.348/.470  	
Cameron Maybin 		CF	.224/.308/.332

And who all pitched was:

Pitcher			Hand   	IP/tRA		Notes
Ricky Nolasco		RHP	170.1/4.23

The starting lineup for Cincinnati was:

Batter			Pos.  	PrOPS		Notes
Drew Stubbs 		CF	.258/.304/.488  Over 50 SB between MLB and MiLB!	
Laynce Nix 		LF	.265/.312/.470  Lineup optimization much? Career .295 wOBA.
Joey Votto 		1B 	.290/.388/.516  	
Brandon Phillips 	2B	.289/.344/.468  	
Juan Francisco 		3B 	.251/.277/.432	MLE between Double- and Triple-A.
Jay Bruce 		RF	.258/.324/.495  	
Ryan Hanigan 		C	.307/.395/.407  	
Paul Janish 		SS	.262/.336/.349

And who all pitched was:

Pitcher			Hand    IP/tRA		Notes
Bronson Arroyo		RHP	205.0/4.90

If I had my druthers

Either Drew Sutton or Adam Rosales would've started at shortstop. They're both more interesting than Janish. I mean, Janish is fine, but his upside is limited. Were either Rosales or Sutton able to stick at short, they'd bring a lot of offensive value for the position.

Laynce Nix wouldn't have started and also would be banned from baseball. If nothing else, there must be some law forbidding egregious use of the letter Y. (This would, of course, affect his brother, Chiago White Sox second baseman Jayson Nix, and also his other brother, minor leaguer Yyyyy Nix.)

Cameron Maybin would play up to his crazy potential.

What all happened

Laynce Nix ruined everything

Let me count the ways:

Inn	Out	Thing
1	0	Strikes out swinging on a change-up in the dirt.
3	0	Fouls off 2-0 pitch that's both low and inside at the same moment Stubbs 
		has second base stolen.
8	1	Grounds into double play on first pitch. Ends inning.

Total WPA for the day: -.222.

Hurray!

Juan Francisco is all he's cracked up to be

Francisco struck out three times on three different pitches: a high and outside fastball in the first, a low curveball in the fourth, and a low and outside change-up in the seventh. Then he got lifted for pinch hitter Jonny Gomes in the ninth.

Of course, the night before, he did this thing.

Ricky Nolasco was great

Nolasco struck out 10 of the 26 batters he faced over seven innings. He did allow two home runs and he did induce only one ground ball. Still, he was incredibly entertaining, mixing in a combination of three breaking pitches: a slider, a loopier curveball and then a tighter curveball. His PITCHf/x chart below (courtesy of Brooks Baseball) demonstrates as much, showing those couple of curveballs that more resemble sliders in terms of break, sans about eight mph.

Secret confession

I'm not admitting to anything without my crack team of lawyers present, but there's a chance—a CHANCE—that I flipped over to the Philadelphia/Atlanta game a couple times, on account of Pedro Martinez and Javier Vazquez were pitching.

Do you wanna know something? Javier Vazquez's curvepiece makes me a Better Man. Sometimes, after I've seen it (i.e. his curvepiece), I'll just go outside and help an old person cross the street. I'll just go walk some dogs at the SPCA or something. Frig, I'll check the box on my 1040 Form that asks if I want to donate a dollar to the Presidential Election Campaign Fund.

Translation: I get hella magnanimous.

Your 21st century box score

I'm not sure these sorts of numbers appeal to the reader, but I haven't tried this before, so I thought I would. Anyway, what they bear out is something I've been saying since I was born: Drew Stubbs is awesome.

They bear out something else that I've never, ever said, too—namely, that Ross Gload is sometimes worth half a win to his team.

Batter		Pos	PA	pLI	WPA	BRAA
Drew Stubbs	CF	4	1.04	0.183	1.55
Laynce Nix	LF	4	1.68	-0.220	-1.26
Joey Votto	1B	4	1.55	0.113	0.28
Br. Phillips	2B	4	2.06	-0.206	-1.18
Juan Francisco	3B	3	1.12	-0.090	-0.83
Jonny Gomes	PH	1	4.75	-0.115	-0.31
Jay Bruce	RF	3	0.86	-0.014	0.05
Scott Rolen	PH	1	3.58	-0.102	-0.24
Ryan Hanigan	C	3	0.83	0.190	0.52
Paul Janish	SS	3	0.88	-0.067	-0.67
Bronson Arroyo	P	2	0.81	-0.043	-0.41
Drew Sutton	PH	1	2.50	-0.065	-0.25
Ramon Ramirez	P	0			

Pitcher		TBF	Pit	pLI	WPA	-BRAA
Bronson Arroyo	29	117	1.25	-0.105	1.22
Ramon Ramirez	3	10	0.54	0.041	0.53

Batter		Pos	PA	pLI	WPA	BRAA
Chris Coghlan	LF	4	0.85	0.040	0.20
Nick Johnson	1B	4	1.20	-0.112	-0.97
Hanley Ramirez	SS	4	1.03	-0.107	-0.92
Jorge Cantu	3B	4	1.08	0.156	0.97
Dan Uggla	2B	4	1.16	-0.114	-0.90
Cody Ross	RF	3	1.12	-0.125	-0.83
Ronny Paulino	C	3	1.26	0.103	0.27
Em. Bonifacio	PR	0			
John Baker	C	0			
Cameron Maybin	CF	3	1.65	-0.154	-0.87
Ross Gload	PH	1	2.99	0.414	1.58
Ricky Nolasco	P	2	0.73	-0.037	-0.28
Dan Meyer	P	0			
Matt Lindstrom	P	0			
Brian Sanches	P	0			

Pitcher		TBF	Pit	pLI	WPA	-BRAA
Ricky Nolasco	26	96	0.91	0.081	1.70
Brian Sanches	5	14	3.33	0.138	0.51
Dan Meyer	1	4	4.75	0.115	0.31
Matt Lindstrom	1	8	3.58	0.102	0.24

Final score

Florida 3, The Nati 2

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I, Claudia’s: Some idle thoughts from an idle fellow

Carson Cistulli — 2009-09-25T19:02:15+00:00

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Brooklyn cheers for Beltran, and other assorted enthusiasms

Carson Cistulli — 2009-09-15T05:01:15+00:00

Prelude

Since I submitted my first game report two weeks ago, a great deal has happened: my voice has lowered, I've found hair in new and unexpected places, and—perhaps most notably—I've made the acquaintance of a great American: Ken Arneson. Arneson was owner-operator of both Humburg Journal and Catfish Stew before their host, Baseball Toaster, shuffled off this electronic coil. Both sites are excellent and should be devoured posthaste.

How it shook down was like this. First, I wrote a piece at FanGraphs asking how we might—beyond measuring player performance—also measure how happy certain baseball events make us, the spectators. By "baseball event" I meant not only discrete "plays" such as doubles and strikeouts, but also change-ups with excellent vertical movement or notable demonstrations of plate discipline.

By "we" I meant anyone who wasn't me, on account of I have no idea what I'm doing.

The commentariat was divided into roughly three categories of response. Some said things like, "Please stop. You're a giant dummy." I think it's obvious: those people aren't entirely off base. Other people sorta patted me on the back metaphorically and said, "Sure, you're a giant dummy, but at least your heart's in the right place." Totally fair analysis. Finally, like two people said, "You know, there might be something to this." One of those people was/is Ken Arneson.

In the time between that FanGraphs post and right now, I have (a) read every word Ken Arneson has ever written (with my soul if not with my actual eyes), (b) harassed him (i.e., Arneson) via email, and (c) interviewed him for a piece that is showing up on FanGraphs this very day.

There are too many things to say about Arneson, and I get to only a few of them in the FanGraphs article. Relevant to the present effort, however, is a quote he steals from Will Leitch on the purpose of baseball writing in the electronic age. At Baseball Analysts, Leitch writes:

We are no longer in the days of radio; if you have MLB.TV, or even freaking cable, you can watch every game. We do not need reporters to tell us the facts; we need people to tell us what it means. Or, more specific, to ask us what we think it means.

It should be noted, first, that the Arneson piece in which the Leitch quote appears, "Death and Parataxis," is itself a testament to what is possible in sportswriting. The best opportunity you have to realize that for yourself is by reading the frig out of it. Second is that—and this is something I'm willing to make a habit of—Leitch and Arneson both make a point I've tried to make, except that they do it shorterly and smarterly.

On the game in question

This is a report on a game that took place Sunday, Sept. 6, between Mets affiliate the Brooklyn Cyclones and Boston's Lowell Spinners of the short-season Single-A New York-Penn League. This marked the last game of each team's respective regular season.

Why I watched it

I've made some passing comments about how, for much of my short tenure here at THT, I've been on honeymoon.

What I neglected to mention was how, directly after said honeymoon, my brand new wife was scheduled to flee the country and spend a year in Provence teaching French high schoolers how to parle anglais a little bit better.

Well, Sept. 6 was not only the day of the game in question, but it was also the day that my wifey departed for France.

I will not describe the scene of her departure, or my conduct during it, as I demonstrated some of the less attractive grief-related behaviors. What I would like to celebrate, rather, is the very tonic effect of attending a minor league baseball game with an old, close friend. Which is exactly what I did after seeing my lady off.

Leo Martin and I attended Columbia University together until such a time when I was unable to cut that particular mustard and, after my sophomore year, fled westward. Since then, however, we've remained close, and baseball has been a central part of our relationship. As I've wandered around the country, Leo has stayed in New York, and he (and now his ladyfriend) have always been gracious and willing hosts. It was with him that I attended the present game and sat on the third base line.

My relationship with Leo highlights something I've idly observed about myself, and which I'm betting the reader might share: that watching and/or talking about sport is almost the only means I have to cultivating friendships with men. I mean, I'm not a one-dimensional guy, I don't think. I published a book of poems. I teach at a college. I'm married to a woman who watches 20 innings of baseball a year, tops.

The response to this that I don't accept is the charge that I'm afraid to share my feelings. I'm perfectly willing to share feelings: it's just that many of my feelings are about baseball. As for why that's the case, I don't particularly care to speculate at the moment. To say that it's fact is enough.

Dramatis Personae

The lineup for Lowell was:

Batter		        Pos.    Slash		Notes
Wilfredo Pichardo	LF	.305/.354/.395	
Alex Hassan		RF	.326/.371/.438	
Drew Hedman		DH	.272/.345/.401	
Christopher McGuiness	1B	.255/.374/.438	
Michael Almanzar        3B	.220/.280/.294	See player notes below
Ronald Bermudez		CF	.258/.294/.323	
Kenneth Roque		2B	.310/.394/.483	See player notes below
Joantoni Garcia		SS	.176/.281/.289

And who all pitched was:

Batter			Pos.   	Slash (IP/K/BB)	Notes
Drake Britton		LHP	3.0/5/3
Tom Ebert		RHP	20.2/19/10	
Michael Bugary		LHP	19.1/26/21
Jeremiah Bayer		RHP	25.0/27/7

The lineup for Brooklyn was:

Batter			Pos.  	Slash		Notes
Jordany Valdespin	2B	.286/.348/.413	
Carlos Beltran		CF	.154/.267/.154	In 13 rehab ABs.
Sam Honeck		1B	.253/.341/.309	Honeck is a funny name.
Luis Rivera		RF	.294/.401/.440	Plus 12/15 in SB attempts.
Ralph Henriquez		DH	.267/.312/.366	
Sam Grimes		LF	.204/.291/.347	
Richard Lucas		3B	.246/.308/.404	
Dock Doyle		C	.256/.328/.345	
Robbie Shields		SS	.176/.273/.268	Third round pick in June.

And who all pitched was:

Batter			Pos.    Slash (IP/K/BB)	Notes
Collin McHugh		RHP	73.0/77/20	
James Fuller		LHP	61.1/64/13
Lance Hoge		LHP	23.2/16/5	See player notes below
Chris Hilliard		LHP	10.0/5/2
Thomas Chism		LHP	2.0/2/1

FYI, the league average rate stats for the NY-Penn league are: .245/.320/.351, 7.9 K/9, 3.3 BB/9, 0.4 HR/9.

By comparison, here's the same thing for MLB: .262/.332/.419, 7.0 K/9, 3.5 BB/9, 1.1 HR/9.

The 2008 park factors for the clubs' respective stadia were: 1.07 for Lowell and 1.02 for Brooklyn.

Brass tacks

More like re-BAD

There was a great deal of excitement at Brooklyn's KeySpan park for Carlos Beltran's final rehab appearance with the team. The anticipation turned out to be entirely unfounded, however, as Beltran struck out three times and mustered only a weak pop-up to shortstop with two outs in the ninth and the winning run on first.

Beltran's fourth plate appearance was the ugliest, when he swung at—and missed by some distance—a slidery-looking pitch in the dirt from Lowell's Michael Bugary. While, according to Sox Prospects, Bugary's slider is a nice pitch, it's not one you'd expect Beltran to have so much trouble with, especially when it's bouncing in front of the plate. Strange.

Oh K!

There were 24 strikeouts in the game: 10 for Lowell pitchers and 14 for Brooklyn pitchers. That's nearly twice as many as in a typical New York-Penn League game.

Here's how the strikeouts broke down (TBF = Total Batters Faced):

Pitcher		K	TBF
Britton		3	8
Ebert		3	14
Bugary		4	11
Bayer		0	5

McHugh		2	8
Fuller		3	9
Hoge		4	5
Hilliard	2	11
Chism		3	7

State of playoffs

As I say above, the game was the last of the regular season for both teams. What I don't say above is how both teams made the playoffs. Brooklyn lost, two games to zero, to the Mahoning Valley Scrappers in the first round. Mahoning Valley is an affiliate of Cleveland.

Lowell made it slightly more interesting versus the Staten Island Yankees by winning the middle game of their three-game series, but then lost in the first round.

Final score

Lowell 4, Brooklyn 3

Notes on a burger

During the game, Leo had a lot to say, not only about the cheeseburger he ate at the present game, but also about other times he'd eaten cheeseburgers at other games. Owing to his demonstrable enthusiasm, I asked if he might put together some brief reflections on his gastronomic experience. Lucky for all of us, he consented.

What follows is Leo's response. Believe me when I say it's not the first time he's used the phrase "unpretentious bun."

Aramark hamburgers are typically pretty grim. So last week at Brooklyn's KeySpan Park, I braced myself. Maybe, I thought, if I frantically "think about baseball" while chewing, I'll distract myself from that defrosted old-cow taste.

No such drastic measures were required, as from the open-air grill on the concourse came a burger that, to my infinite pleasure and surprise, was possibly worth close to the seven dollars it cost.

The patty was cooked through, appropriately for a thin-format burger, and not at all dry. A choice of American or Monterey Jack(!) cheese was offered, along with a tasty spicy mayo. Crisp lettuce, tomato, and onion topped it off. I felt soothed by the quiet confidence of the unpretentious bun.

They might be playing Short Season A baseball at Coney Island, but that's a Double-A sandwich.

Three players

Lance Hoge, LHP, Brooklyn
A good way to draw attention to yourself is to throw your shoes and loudly cuss at a powerful foreign leader. Another way is strike out four of the five batters you face in a minor league baseball game. Hoge did the latter of these things during the present contest, sending down Lowell's one through four hitters. There's nothing really to suggest that Hoge is this kind of pitcher. As a 22-year-old in low Single-A ball, he had 16 strikeouts in almost 23.1 innings entering the game. He was drafted in the 36th round. He wasn't even the best pitcher at Kansas State in 2009, posting 46 K and 22 BB in 71.1 IP versus fourth round pick A.J. Morris' line of 116.1 IP, 100 K and 30 BB. That said, he struck out 13 in 16 SAL innings this summer, as well.

Kenneth Roque, 2B/SS, Lowell
Roque undeniably (a) is a 2007 10-round draft pick of the Red Sox, (b) plays second base and also some third and short, (c) is 19 years old and (d) slashed .317/.400/.520 in 140 GCL PAs this year, in addition to the excellent line of .310/.394/.483 (in only 29 ABs) he brought into this game. What is deniable is Roque's status as a real prospect. Certainly, his draft pedigree doesn't suggest any great shakes. Nor do his raw tools or place in coach Gary DiSarcina's lineup (seventh). While I'm very clearly nothing like a real talent evaluator, and will therefore refrain from speculating on Roque's future, it's hard to criticize a player's batting skills until he fails, and Roque has as yet to do that.

Michael Almanzar, 3B, Lowell
Like Roque, Almanzar is 19 years old. Unlike him, Almanzar has projectability out the ears. Ranked ninth in Boston's organization in Baseball America's preseason Prospect Handbook, Almanzar has a good arm, the promise of power as his body matures and a generally sound plate approach for his age.

What I noticed about Almanzar is just that he looks different than most of the players. He's listed at 6-foot-3 but seems taller. He looks strong and like he'll get stronger. He made the hardest or second hardest contact of the evening, a long single that made the wall in left field off a couple of bounces. What Almanzar lacks as of now is actual performance. He finished the season .230/.288/.302 after slashing .207/.261/.293 in 203 PA in the SAL earlier this year and getting demoted.

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Baseball reporting, enthusiast style

Carson Cistulli — 2009-09-01T05:02:15+00:00

Note to reader: What follows occasionally reads like a manifesto. This is both (a) regrettable and (b) a fact. Je suis desole to the max.

A brief note on what is this junk

What follows represents my first attempt at writing a game report for The Hardball Times. It's a form with which I've experimented, under the name Ecstatic Truth Game Report, for the Portland (Ore.) Sportsman. Those experiments went similarly to Dr. Frankenstein's famous one, as documented in Mary Shelley's book: You couldn't say the product was a total failure, but some of the parts looked kinda funny.

The New Enthusiast Game Report is an attempt, on my part, to write about baseball in a way representative of the way a smarter fan might enjoy watching it, where "smarter" suggests not only that sort of fan who's familiar with advanced statistical analysis, but also one who prefers his humor ribald and his prose stylings sweet as candy.

THT already does this to some degree with its THT Daily service, providing the sort of info an enthusiast cares about: fantasy updates, pitching match-ups, Pythagorean standings and minor league performances. All in a tidy package. I hope to stand on the shoulders of the giant that is THT*. Moreover, I do not intend myself to become the master of this particular genre. Much like the character from the David Berman poem who only plays a bit part in his own life story, I hope merely to ask some simple, childlike questions and then get out of the way.

*Achtung: Sweet Isaac Newton reference.

One of the great joys of watching baseball with friends is the sort of running commentary that accompanies a game. The action, televised or live, serves as an entree into a variety of topics of conversation—many of them concerning farts, sure, but sometimes concerning Marcel Proust and other times the comedy jokes of Mike Birbiglia. I'd like to create a document "about" a game that roughly mirrors that sort of experience.

As of now, mostly what's available is the pyramid style of game recap, such as the AP and other news outlets provide, which is a document composed in such a way as to (1) create a more or less fictional narrative for a baseball game, (2) give undue emphasis to emotional factors and less to a combination of skill and chance, (3) become continually less important (and less interesting) as it grows in length and (4) create the impression that baseball is the most boring thing that has ever happened to the world (including the supposedly fun Playmobil-brand toys I was given occasionally as a child).

As an example of one flaw to the AP report, consider the introduction to the report by Rick Gano on Saturday's Cubs-Mets game, which begins like this:

CHICAGO (AP)—Jake Fox went to his manager before the game and offered some reassurance. Then, he followed through and did what he promised.

“He said, `I got your back today, skip.’ Exactly what he told me,” Cubs manager Lou Piniella said Saturday. “A couple of at-bats into it I was wondering, but he caught up in a hurry.”

Gano goes on to discuss Fox's big day at the plate (2-for-4 with a homer and five RBI), which included a grand slam.

The suggestion here, which I would describe as far-fetched at best, is that Jake Fox willed himself to play well—and not merely because he wanted to play well, which should be enough, but even moreso because he sensed that his manager, a notorious Spazzface, was kinda bummed out. From what we know about clutch hitting, we know that it's most likely rare for a player to possess the capacity to improve himself in certain situations. That a player could—beyond one or two moments—raise his level of play over the course of an entire game simply because he wanted to throw his manager a bone is even less likely. In fact, the presumption is offensive at some level. Are we to believe that Fox, sporting an excellent line of .300/.348/.556 after play Saturday, might be playing even better were he just to try just a little bit harder?!

Furthermore, while Gano mentions that Fox's contribution to the victory was important, what he doesn't mention is how important. Using Win Probability Added (WPA), courtesy of FanGraphs, we see Fox's contribution very clearly as being something like 27.7 percent of the victory. What Gano fails to note, as well, is the degree to which Aramis Ramirez and Milton Bradley contributed nearly as much to the victory, posting WPAs of .238 and .204, respectively.

Of course, the omission of such stats is not Gano's fault, per se. The public is, at best, generally unfamiliar with certain, very helpful advanced metrics and, at worst, completely hostile. (Another category that I'm not counting—what I'll call the Murray Chass-level of crazy—refuses even to acknowledge the existence of new stats and blogs.) Regardless, newspapers with wide-ish circulations need to be aware of such constraints. But merely because they need to abide by them doesn't mean everyone does.

For another of the weaknesses of the pyramid style, consider the final line of the recap from the Tampa Bay-Detroit game (which is apparently authorless):

Carl Crawford added a sacrifice fly in the ninth for the Rays.

I have two different snarky things to say about that. Let me try them out on you.

Snark the first
"Carl Crawford added a f------ sacrifice fly in the ninth."

Samuel Jackson just said that to me, and it still wasn't very interesting.

Snark the second
Wow! I mean, I've seen some good endings in my day. Like, the end of The Usual Suspects, for example, wasn't too bad. Or, The Sixth Sense was pretty decent. But Carl Crawford hitting a sacrifice fly?! In the ninth inning?! Never saw that coming!

Okay, that was annoying.

The point, of course, is that Crawford's sac fly represents the exact opposite of a dramatic conclusion. Once again, this isn't necessarily the fault of the nameless author or authors in question. Clearly, the pyramid style is a convention, one designed to allow newspaper editors some options when attempting to fit a game recap in a particular space. But now that, thanks to the interweb, space isn't really so much of a consideration, does it make sense to abide by an outdated custom?

Or consider another flaw of this article: not once did the author mention peeing his pants with joy while observing David Price's slidepiece. Which, that leads me to believe either that: 9a) the article was written by a robot, 9b) the author has a helluva strong bladder,9 c) the author lost—as the result of a horrific accident—he lost the part of the brain in which joy is registered or 9d) all of the above.

I'm going with (d).

On the game in question

This is a report on a game that took place Sunday, Aug. 30, between the New Hampshire American Defenders and the Quebec Capitales at Stade Municipal in Quebec City, Canada. If you're wondering why those names—i.e. American Defenders and Les Capitales—don't seem completely familiar, it's because the two teams are part of the independent Canadian-American League (Can-Am, for short). The Can-Am League has been around in different forms since the 1930s, but the recent iteration was formed officially in 2004. There are only six teams in the league, which features many players who, at one point or another, have been involved with affiliated baseball. More info about the Can-Am League can be found by clicking here or here.

Why I watched it

As I mentioned in a recent dispatch to THT Live, I'm currently on honeymoon. As for how my new wife feels about me going to games and writing reports during said honeymoon, I can't say for sure. I do know that, when I woke up the morning of this game, the words "Red Rum" were written in lipstick on the mirror of our room. Whatever that means.

Like I say, though, I've spent the last little bit of my life roaming the highways and byways of the Northeast. One such byway took me and my lady friend to Quebec. I figured maybe people would be interested in an event like this one.

The lineup for New Hampshire

Batter		        Pos.       Slash		Notes
Rafael Cabreja		LF	.255/.375/.436	2008 stats, as 21-year-old with NY/Penn League's Lowell Spinners.
Heath Keel		RF	.182/.250/.182	
Zane Chavez		C	.282/.347/.398	
Angel Molina		DH	.288/.362/.476	12 HR and 13/15 SB in 313 AB.
Argenis Tavarez	        3B	.229/.313/.317	
Matt Nandin		SS	.256/.306/.278	
Morgan Brown		2B	.232/.271/.282	
Mike O'Malley		1B	.217/.302/.261	
Steve Pinto		CF	.000/.000/.000

And the pitchers for the same team:

Batter			Pos.   	Slash (IP/K/BB)	Notes
Rob Riley		LHP	46.1/25/22
Greg Ford		RHP	3.1/3/6		2008 stats with Nashua, also of Can-Am League

The lineup for Quebec

Batter			Pos.  	Slash		Notes
Sebastien Boucher	CF	.219/.341/.278	
Josh Colafemina		2B	.248/.331/.262	
Alex Nunez		RF	.322/.400/.391	4th in Can-Am in batting. 4th in OBP (Presence sur Les Buts, in French).
Pierre-Luc Laforest	DH	.276/.407/.532	You might remember him by his Anglo name: Pete. Played for TB.
Patrick Deschenes	3B	.280/.361/.376	
Patrick Scalabrini	1B	.200/.333/.300	
Tony Lewis		SS	.314/.413/.423	
Patrick D'Aoust		C	.252/.350/.319	
Issael Gonzalez		LF	.000/.000/.000

And the pitchers for the same team:

Batter			Pos.    Slash (IP/K/BB)	Notes
Karl Gelinas		RHP	25.1/22/5	2008 stats with Quebec
Dan Sausville		RHP	73.2/42/27
Brett Palanski		RHP	45.2/21/20

Brass tacks

What I have to tell you is this: On account of a rain-out on Saturday, there actually were two seven-inning games played Sunday. The lineups above are from the first game of the doubleheader. I stayed for the first four-and-a-half innings of the second game, mostly to see Eric Gagne pitch, but I had a new wife not to get hurt physically by, and so I opted to depart the Stade Municipal before the second game concluded.

Quebec won the first game 4-0, most of the scoring coming from Pete Laforest (see below), who jacked two dongers in the contest. The first was to right-center and cleared the fence by a significant distance. The Ecstatic Truth Hittracker I own suggests that it went about 1 kilometer—a "kilometer" being a unit of measurement invented by Canadians to confuse hapless visitors. The second of Laforest's home runs I know less about, on account of I was peeing during it. That said, my wife saw it and said, and I quote, "It went way out there."

As for the second game, I was happy to see Quebec's Ivan Naccarata play shortstop for it and New Hampshire's Rob Riley play designated hitter after having started the previous game as pitcher. (Quebec won this game, too, by a score of 16-1 or so the internet would have us believe).

An (incredibly brief) ode to joy

The Stade Municipal experience was joyous for two reasons. For one, it was French as a mother. For two, it was populated by a load of fringe players, which means I had an excuse to Google the crap out of my Google machine.

A brief French lesson

Man, they're not joking when they say people in Quebec City speak French. Even at baseball games!

Here are some words you're gonna need to know before you point your internet browser toward capitalesdequebec.com or read the sporting commentary of Jean Dion, who, according to my hosts Guillaume and Miriam, writes some of the smartest, funniest columns you could ever hope for.

English			Francais
Hit			Coup sur 
Home run		Coup de circuit
Pitcher			Lanceur 
Batter			Frappeur
Lineup			Alignnement
RBI			Point produit
Ball			Balle
Strike			Prise
Out			Retrait
Strikeout		Retrait au baton

Assorted notes on some players

Pete Laforest, DH/C, Quebec
Oh man, does Laforest know how to jack a donger. Pete, or Pierre-Luc as he's known to the Quebecois, spent Game One of the doubleheader doing much the same thing he did during his career in affiliated baseball—namely, walking, striking out or jacking dongers. In fact, here's his line from said first game:

PA 1: K
PA 2: HR
PA 3: HR

And began the second game similarly:

PA 1: K

Laforest occupies a Ryan Doumit-y place in the world of baseball: He hits enough to get people's attention and plays catcher, too, if not all that well. His minor league numbers are those of a player with good power and contact issues. There are a number of guys like him in Triple-A (all of whom, it seems, have played for the Portland Beavers). Regardless, I've always liked him and have always—if somewhat irrationally—hoped he would land with a major league club. The home run I saw him hit (i.e. not the one he hit when I was peeing) was pretty decisive. The ball less jumped off his bat and more ran away from it afraid. I reallyreallyreally hope he gets back in the minor leagues.

Eric Gagne, RHP, Quebec
After performing poorly in recent stints with Milwaukee and Boston, Gagne has found his way back to the old patrie, having worked 90.2 innings across 15 starts while posting a line of 53 K, 27 BB, and 9 HR. Gagne started the second game of the doubleheader and pitched well, posting a line of 5 IP, 6 K, and 1 BB. I had the opportunity to sit behind the plate and can say with some certainty that his change-up was his best pitch, exhibiting an excellent differential in speed to along with fade and depth. In the first two innings alone, Gagne got four memorable swings-and-misses with the change against New Hampshire lefties Cabreja and Molina.

Despite the performance, a strikeout rate of only about 5 K/9 in an independent league probably doesn't bode well for Gagne's chances of getting back to the majors anytime soon. Which is good in one way. Because, were Gagne to leave Quebec, the fans here wouldn't have any reason to shout "Come on, Cy Young!" in their amazing accents.

Rafael Cabreja, OF, New Hampshire
Cabreja batted leadoff and played left field for New Hampshire in both games, entering play with only five at-bats after being acquired in a trade with New Jersey just a couple of days earlier. He had signed with New Jersey only a couple of days before that. Cabreja was drafted by Boston in the eighth round of the 2006 draft out of James Monroe High School. Sox Prospects has him as David Ortiz's cousin while Sons of Sam Horn lists him as Big Papi's nephew.

While the former of those two websites treated Cabrera's release (this past April) from the Boston organization as a foregone conclusion, the numbers don't bear that out necessarily. Cabrera posted a park- and luck-adjusted line of .283/.389/.467 at low Class A Lowell last year as a 21-year-old. His jump to high Class A Greenville was less successful (adjusted line of .220/.418/.340), but he still posted 16 BB versus only 13 strikeouts in 50 at-bats. If he could play center field (champ centre, for the French reader), which he did with Lowell, then he seems like a reasonable risk for some major league organization.

Ivan Naccarata, SS, Ouebec
Unlike Cabreja, Naccarata hasn't had much success in affiliated baseball, most recently posting a line of .267/.336/.415 as a 24-year-old for low Class A Brooklyn. The Can-Am League has been considerably more kind to him. Entering play, Naccarata—which, I invite you to say that ten times fast, America—has posted a line of .290/.366/.420. In 2007, also in Quebec, he slashed .321/.402/.465. Guys who plays passable shortstop—which, I can only assume Naccarata does—and jack dongers—which, Naccarata did that in the second game—are in short supply. Still, those weak age-adjusted numbers are difficult to look past.

Rob Riley, Everything, New Hampshire
As this article from the Nashua Telegraph can attest, Rob Riley's baseball career has been a little unorthodox. Regard: He played last year in Europe. Before that, he worked as the chief harpooner on a ship called the Pequod. Currently for New Hampshire, he pinch hits, plays DH, pitches as a starter, and pitches as a situational lefty.

Riley got knocked around a little by Quebec simply because he doesn't have enough on his fastball, which comes in at the mid-80s when it's going well. His curve is a quality pitch, one he used to get a couple of strikeouts looking through the first couple innings of his start. I'm not smart enough to know either what his role should be or if he could be of any use in affiliated ball. His age (almost 30 years old) doesn't help. He does seem to be having fun, however, and doing well in the Life Department is pretty important, too.

Stirring conclusion

Remember how, about 2,000 words ago, I criticized the AP for not producing good conclusions to its articles? Well, I will be guilty of the same thing here.

But as Walt Whitman writes: "Do I contradict myself? / Very well then I contradict myself, / (I am large, I contain multitudes.)"

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A few clandestine notes on collegiate summer baseball

Carson Cistulli — 2009-08-27T12:25:15+00:00

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Ecstatic Truth Pitchf/x: Daniel Bard’s slider

Carson Cistulli — 2009-08-19T21:33:15+00:00

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Observations of questionable import: the Cape Cod League Championship Series

Carson Cistulli — 2009-08-14T20:03:15+00:00

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The sorrow and the pity: a brief reflection on the state of the Royals

Carson Cistulli — 2009-08-09T23:53:15+00:00

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