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Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Alyssa Milano writesHere's something to add to your reading list:
Alyssa Milano is in love; she has been for some time. But the object of her affection isn't the subject of tabloid gossip or an actor; in fact, it isn't even a guy. It's a game, a game of nine innings that uses a ball made of leather and cork. A game called baseball.
If I'm counsel for the Yankees or the Giants, I read this book closely, because it may very well contain an explanation as to how Pavano and Zito got totally wrecked. Maybe they can sue Milano for damages or something. I'm available for that deposition, by the way.
(thanks to Mark Armour, whose books aren't nearly as sexy as this one will be, for the heads up)
Posted by Craig Calcaterra at 9:40am
Ah, the perfect girl.
Posted 02/24 at 10:56 AM
If Craig’s theory about Alyssa being associated with the injuries that affected Pavano and Zito is valid I suspect both men may occasionally sing, hum or whistle John Mellencamp’s “Hurts So GOod”.
Posted 02/24 at 11:08 AM
I don’t believe the Alyssa Effect has received sufficient attention by the statistical community. I took a closer look at the data based on dating information provided by this site: http://www.whosdatedwho.com/celebrities/people/dating/alyssa-milano.htm
While only 3 of her 26 documented relationships are major league starting pitchers, I think the results are interesting and reasonably predictive in the event she reneges on her 2008 pledge to swear off dating baseball players.
Exhibit A: Carl Pavano (2003)
Exhibit B: Barry Zito (2004-05)
Exhibit C: Brad Penny (2006)
Posted 02/24 at 11:27 AM
I should add that Pavano and Zito have never recovered post-Milano Meltdown suggesting possible long-term psychological effects. As a result, I am staying away from Brad Penny in all my fantasy drafts.
Posted 02/24 at 11:29 AM
The Common Man said...
It’s pretty clear she wasn’t withholding sex and making Exhibits A,B, and C wear women’s underwear while pitching. If only Zito, Penny, and Pavano had seen that Bull Durham documentary.
Posted 02/24 at 11:29 AM
Sara K said...
They were breathing through the wrong “eyelid.”
Posted 02/24 at 02:25 PM