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May 26, 2012
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Tuesday, July 28, 2009And That HappenedA very grand-slammy day around the Majors . . .Nationals 14, Brewers 6: Josh Willingham with two grand slams and eight RBI. I think that's more production than his trade counterpart Emilio Bonifacio has had all season. Mets 7, Rockies 3: An eighth inning pinch hit grand slam by Fernando Tatis puts a happy ending on what was an otherwise horrible day in Metsville. After the game, Omar Minaya raged at a press conference about how he can no longer sit back and allow reporter infiltration, reporter indoctrination, reporter subversion and the international reporter conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids. Cubs 5, Astros 1: Tie game, bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth! Lou Piniella calls for the suicide squeeze! Mike Fontenot know what to do: Contact, baby! Do anything, put it anywhere, but JUST DON'T MISS THE BALL! Oops, he missed the ball and the runner was tagged out. On to extra innings, where, thankfully for Fontenot's sake, the Cubbies broke out in the 13th inning, via -- you guessed it -- a game-winning grand slam, this one off the bat of Alfonso Soriano. Indians 9, Angels 8: A rare bifurcated grand slam won this one, with Victor Martinez hitting a three run home run followed immediately by Jhonny Peralta hitting a solo-shot in the ninth inning. Shut up, it does too count. I'm trying to keep a theme going here. Yankees 11, Rays 4: It was A-Rod's birthday yesterday, and if he wanted to, he and his lady friend Kate Hudson could have joined the party and gotten a free grand slam. Since it's Rodriguez, though, they probably just tried to go to Chi Chi's to get free nachos and a Polaroid picture wearing that birthday sombrero they give out. Then they probably were crestfallen when they found out that (a) Chi Chi's went out of business five years ago; and (b) that there aren't any Polaroids around anymore either. So instead they just went out to some fabulous restaurant and took turns telling one another how rich and beautiful they are. Wait, where was I going with this? Reds 6, Padres 4: Given how totally each of these teams have fallen apart recently, this was more like rummage sale than a ballgame. Scouts sat behind home plate like Luke and Uncle Owen pickin' out droids. Based on reports, someone's got their eyes set on this Red one, but they should be warned: he probably has a bad motivator. Red Sox 8, A's 3: Every Red Sox batter got a hit which, if you're a connoisseur of box scores, is kind of satisfying to see on an aesthetic level. 10Ks for Beckett. Royals 5, Orioles 3: Billy Butler went 5 for 5 and Bruce Chen wasn't an unmitigated disaster for once. Interesting -- and deceiving -- to see that the Royals are only three games worse than the Orioles are this year. I bet Dayton Moore walks around the office complaining about how unfair it is for those in the know to talk about Baltimore's future and promise while all they do is criticize the Royals. Twins 4, White Sox 3: Errors were the difference here, as Jayson Nix and Paul Konerko each committed an error in the second which led to Twins runs. Rangers 5, Tigers 2: Yet another solid start from Tommy Hunter (7 IP, 5 H, 1 ER). I don't know anything about him and I haven't seen him pitch yet. Royce -- anyone -- is he any good, or is this a fluke? Cardinals 6, Dodgers 1: Chris Carpenter finishes July 4-0 by beating L.A. in a manner that compels me to use the term "scattered" (7 IP, 9 H, 1 ER). Not to be confused with scattered, smothered, and covered (sorry, that breakfast reference in the Yankees recap has me hungry). Anyway, in his first four games with St. Louis, Matt Holliday is 8-for-14 with four RBIs. In his last seven games, Mark DeRosa has five homers. I'd say at this point that the midseason deals are paying off for St. Louis. Phillies 6, Diamondbacks 2: Jamie Moyer, who I am contractually obligated to refer to as "crafty" (though "wily" will also be accepted), baffled the Dbacks with his stunning array of dusty junk, allowing bubkis over six innings. The Phillies now have a seven game lead in the East. Blue Jays 11, Mariners 4: All hits are not created equal. Toronto only has three more of them than the Ms, but they scored seven more runs, knocking King Felix around in what amounts to his worst start in a couple of years, and preventing him from getting what would have been his 12th win. Giants 4, Pirates 2: Lincecumazing! OK, I'll cut that out now. But he really was, tossing a complete game, giving up no earned runs, and striking out 15 Pirates. His game score of 87 is the ninth best of any starter's performance this season. Though it's worth noting that I don't believe in game scores. I just believe in me. Yoko and me. And that's reality. Posted by Craig Calcaterra at 5:53am Comments
lar said...
Wes, Outstanding comment. I love it. There are definitely a few assumptions in there. The biggest one, I think, assuming that the Death Star laser provides all the power necessary to destroy the planet. I would think that there’s a good argument somewhere saying that the laser is meant to do something to the planet so that it destroys itself (like boiling the core, or something equally silly). If we can assume it’s some sort of special technology that wreaks havoc to the structure of a planet, then we have no way to even do “back of the envelope” type number-crunching (at least, I have no idea how you could do that). The other assumption that I’d point out is that you have them using nuclear fission as the power source. Assuming they are using nuclear power (and there is no other mentino of nukes in Star Wars canon that I’ve ever heard of), it is just as likely that they’ve figured out how to create nuclear fusion (after all, they can fly in hyperspace, build planet-size structures, and bend light). I know very little advanced physics or anything else nuclear-related, but I do recall learning that *fission* is only something like 3% efficient while *fusion* is something like 95% efficient. If that’s right, then their nuclear fusion powered weapon would be 30 times more powerful (I’m guessing… there might be some advanced stats in here that I’m not considering) than the nuclear fission powered one you mentioned. Which would change the math considerably. Of course, they could just invoke the “movie magic/science fiction” power source explanation, rendering all of our analysis moot (maybe they discovered some gigantic creature that spits out planet-destroying rays?). Silly movies. Personally, I just like to assume artificial gravity was discovered somewhere and somehow. It makes my mind so much freer… Posted 07/28 at 04:05 PM
Rob^2 said...
@Wes - Aren’t you assuming that the explosive power of the fully operational Death Star comes solely from the beam? Couldn’t the beam be causing some kind of nuclear explosion of the planet itself? Perhaps they have some future technology that can cause atoms to spontaneously explode in a fission reaction caused by a high-energy plasma beam. Then you’d really only need to generate the beam and let the atomic reaction take over. Posted 07/28 at 04:12 PM
Levi Stahl said...
Maybe it’s like microwave popcorn: the microwaves (Death Star mega-laser) heats up the water (planetary goodness) that’s already inside the popcorn (Alderaan) and makes it provide the explosive force. Gaah. I just compared the deaths of millions (billions?) of Alderaanians to cooking popcorn. I’m going to end up in Star Wars hell. Posted 07/28 at 04:16 PM
Will said...
Levi: give my regards to Moff Tarkin when you get there. As for the Death Star’s power supply, I think it more likely to assume they use fusion rather than fission. With all the energy weapons they use in that universe, it seems likely that they would have figured out a way to deal with the high-energy plasma involved in fusion reactors. For bonus nerd points, we could now discuss whether the Star Trek method of using matter/anti-matter annihilation would be even more efficient, and if that technology existed in the Star Wars universe. And now, moving back to the question of gravity, my second reason for assuming the likelihood of artificial gravity is that the big landing bay that the Millennium Falcon lands in is perpendicular to the crust of the Death Star. If it was using natural gravity, wouldn’t all the decks be parallel to the crust? The decks should be in layers, like an onion. Posted 07/28 at 04:33 PM
TC said...
Levi- Of course, if you put JiffyPop in the microwave, then blue light comes out. And if exploding planets are anything like exploding stars (and why wouldn’t they be), then, though you don’t see it in the movies, a red light should emanate from Alderaan. When red meets blue, the Falcon goes back in time, and Chewy talked to Barack Obama. I think. Posted 07/28 at 04:47 PM
Linus said...
Well first of all artificial gravity can be created by simply spinning the death star.. thereby recreating gravity via centripetal force. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artificial_gravity and i feel obligated to link xkcd here.. http://xkcd.com/123/ As for the various wrongful death suits, i think quite clear the Rebel Alliance is clearly a terrorist organization. I mean, they have killed civilians for political purpose. Posted 07/28 at 04:53 PM
lar said...
*sniff**sniff* What smells like blue? Posted 07/28 at 04:54 PM
Linus said...
Oh.. and there is no reason to estimate Alderaan to the same size as Earth, in fact it probably could be much smaller than earth. Additionally, Alderaan could have been just as unstable as say Venus. But, instead of using either fusion or fission, perhaps the Death Star uses something like the latest Star Trek movie and creates a singularity in the planet core (the big beam is just to drill to the center) and “blowing” it up that way. There would be a supernova type explosion, but then matter would collapse into itself. Posted 07/28 at 04:56 PM
TC said...
Linus- You run into two problems, there. First, we can plainly see Alderaan exploding, ka-BOOM, outwards, scattering rubble in every direction. So, creating the gravitational singularity, and thus, a black hole, you’re not likely to get that fun, er, tragic firework. Beyond that, on a level of pure planetary destruction, you’re going to run into problems. Let’s say Alderaan is the size of Earth, and the black uses up most (maybe 75%?) of the planet’s core, with designs on blowing the rest up. Your black hole is now the of pea (approximately), and it is very hot and emitting all kinds of radiation. Sure, everyone on the surface is dead, but they’re not blowing up. Of course, the effects of gravity (and thus, black holes and singularities) are dependent upon distance and mass. While the mass is pretty good, we’re talking about an object the size of a pea, floating through the middle of the planet. It would take a long, long time before that black hole sucked anything up. So, yeah, the Star Trek plan, while likely to kill plenty of people, won’t really destroy the planet. At least, not in the cinematical sense. Posted 07/28 at 05:19 PM
Craig Calcaterra said...
So what you’re saying is that the “Spaceballs” method of sucking out all of a planet’s oxygen is more feasible than going the Death Star route? [prepare to transform Spaceball One to Mega Maid . . .] Posted 07/28 at 05:21 PM
Rob² said...
The Death Star is obviously a beam of antimatter. Posted 07/28 at 05:38 PM
Will said...
Craig, that’d only work if you can figure out the extremely complicated combination for the air shield. Posted 07/28 at 06:22 PM
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Well, Wes wins for comment of the week.