The official position of the City of Milwaukee is that when properly cooked, the beer used is the culinary equivalent of holy water.  The key is to gently simmer the sausages in beer before grilling.  Of course, that position has yet to be recognized by the Catholic church—they prefer the post-grill soak.

DavidB:  I suggest you take a remedial course in whimsy and sarcasm, and while you’re at it, a few electives that can help you reduce your overactive sense of victimization.

But if you want me to “name one,” I’ll give you Michael Ochab, who was the source of the stories about the Detroit thing.  The Rev. Ed Vilkauskas of downtown Detroit’s St. Mary’s Catholic Church wasn’t too happy about it either.

That said, no one here (or anywhere else that I can recall) has suggested that anyone of consequence—or numbers of people of consequence—had a problem with any of this.  It’s a media creation by a small number of people, and it’s somewhat amusing.  Both of those things enable one (i.e. me) to make fun of it without besmirching your religion.  Unless of course you claim the small number of people fairly represent it.

Put differently: lighten the hell up.  The Catholic Church has lasted for a couple of thousand years with harsher critics than me.  I have this feeling it can handle whatever weak sauce I throw at it, in jest or otherwise.

So I ask you to name somebody, and the best you can do is cite the quotes from the very same mainstream-media rag that started this faux controversy?  (Which was done in a pathetic, desperate attempt to maintain readership because nobody under the age of 40 believes their war-mongering, corporate-loving idiocy anymore.)  That’s basically like an author using himself as an anonymous source in an article.  Completely worthless.

I have a great sense of humor, just as long as somebody’s actually funny.  But picking on Catholics is (a) lame and cliche` and (b) flagrantly cheap comedy because, of course, you can say anything with no fear of media reprisal.

Again, if you start mocking Yom Kippur (which, obviously, you wouldn’t want to do to those “beautiful” and “noble” people!), then I can dismiss your repeated anti-Catholic rhetoric as the product of just another crude anti-religion zealot.  But right now you’re coming across as a politically correct anti-religion zealot who doesn’t have the brains to make funny jokes or the balls to pick on anybody who it’s not hip to pick on.  Catholic-bashing is about as taboo as Britney Spears bashing.  Why don’t you try writing something that might get you in trouble?

So now I’m getting the same meaningless crap at a sabermetrics site that I get from the mainstream media (albeit with idiotic “snarky!” jokes).  I guess it’s just like my friend who went to Match.com to meet nice girls but ended up being pitched by hookers!

Wooden,

Ooooh….you’re so….profound, man. 

Look, I don’t care about your religions or your hatred of religions (and, for the record, nobody cares about your name, either).  As long as you’re not murdering and lying, I live and let live.

It’s not about religion, it’s about bigotry and bad jokes. 

Why don’t you “pull the sheets” away from Jews or Hindus?

All I’m asking is that you stop making facially bogus claims (Catholics in Detroit and Milwaukee are “bent out of shape”) and bad jokes. 

Just go back to slobbering over young sweaty men in tight clothes and worshiping the military.

Well, apparently someone over here thought it was an interesting enough set of events to ask the archbishop of Wisconsin (and very soon to be archbishop of New York, which, as a Catholic, you should be aware is a pretty important position within the church) about it and he, apparently, thought it was important enough to give a little bit of an answer.

And, obviously, we all know that that one article was not the feeling of the vast majority of Catholics. If you read what people were saying, I think you’d be hard pressed to deny it. This link was meant to show that, I think. I mean, it gives the archbishop’s opinion on the matter, for goodness sake.

“But at least I’m not some creepy closet-gay, Viagra-popping piece of crap who can’t build or create a damn thing.”

I can’t tell, David: are you more upset about people slandering Catholics, or by the fact that your doctor won’t prescribe you drugs for erectile dysfunction.  Because really, you seem to resent Viagra users far more than Catholic haters.

Sorry to defend you.  Didn’t know you were impotent….but I kind of guessed (it’s par for the course with you people).

Technically, it’s not Viagra that I hate: it’s impotent men - no doubt like certain people here - who dupe themselves into thinking they’re tough.

For the record, I worked with a woman who was a sales rep for Pfizer (when they had a large Michigan office) and (a) Viagra is exclusively a drug for rich, war-loving Republicans (better than 80% of their customers) and, (b) men who use it - like Rush Limbaugh - end up thinking it’s cool to murder Arabs. 

Is it a coincidence that Viagra and murderous, thieving neo-conservatism arose at exactly the same time?  What’s the correlation coefficient on those two?  1.

I also can’t stand tough guys who think they’re tough for worshiping the military and watching NASCAR.

I also can’t stand people who love murdering Arabs.

I also can’t stand creepy married dudes (always rich neo-cons) who hit on me when they know I have a girlfriend. 

I also can’t stand the fact that worthless American men can’t build a damn thing and that, to find an engineer worth a damn, I have to talk to guys from the East (often Muslims).

Basically….I don’t think I’d get along with too many guys at this site, which is why I post so rarely.

Just please stop slandering Catholics.  Your comments are facially bogus and your jokes are lame and hack crap.

Vince Neil,

I think your wife is getting nailed by a virile young Mexican right now.  Better go burn some Dixie Chicks CDs so that you can still feel like a man.

Craig - Can I hire you?