Since the mid-1990’s, Chipper has been and still continues to be my favorite non-Phillies player, although he has some tough competition nowadays.

I’m sure a Phillies fan liking a Braves player violates some sort of ordinance, but all I’m concerned about are the restraining orders.

Hilarious as the Onion always is, but why would they pick Jones (an all-time great player) for this? Why not more of an Al Oliver clone, like…I don’t know, Raul Ibanez? Maybe I’m missing an entire level of the joke or something.

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See, I’ve always thought of Chipper as more like the Braves’ AL Kaline than Mickey Mantle. A top-shelf Hall of Fame talent to be sure, and a handful of seasons that stand alongside anything anyone else in the game was doing at the same time, but very rarely the best in the game. Each won one World Series. Each was overshadowed by another, greater talent in the league (Mantle; Bonds/Pujols).  I don’t think this takes away from his legacy—I was brought up to believe that Kaline was a demigod—but his stardom can be overstated.

As for the local women: maybe they know he’s rich and has a history of philandering?

Kaline is a much better comparison, actually. 

As far as the female attraction thing goes, I think the fact that he’s been a Brave for forever helps for the casual female fan, and also for a lack of a better option.  I mean there’s the Failcoeur route, but if you’re going to have a baseball player crush it seems to me, they may as well be successful at the game.  And McCann is probably a bit too much of a goof ball.  Though I really can’t say I have even a basic knowledge of how any woman’s mind works.