December 8, 2013
Who is Shyster?
Or you can search by:
Most Recent Comments
Mike Hargrove Interview (13)
Can they be the California Angels again? (9)
Another great moment in mass transit? (7)
Just another ten-percenter (his mind is like an ocean) (7)
Great Moments in Half-Baked Populism (8)
Shyster's Daily Circuit
Joe Posnanski Blog
Cot's Baseball Contracts
It IS About the Money
Baseball Think Factory
MLB Trade Rumors
Way Back and Gone
Bats -- NYT Baseball Blog
The Biz of Baseball
The Daily Fungo
The Common Man
Jorge Says No!
Baseball Over Here
Monday, July 20, 2009
My Morning in ExileJust reading some cards from the suggestion box . . .
"Howard Stern rules"
"If you can read this you are a dork"
"Coupon for one free kiss from Treder if you are a girl"
"We need more complaint cards"
"Coupon for one free kiss from Treder if you are a guy"
"You will go on a journey, happy long time"
"Jaffe is a moron"
"No I'm not"
"Yes you are"
"No I'm not infinity"
"Yes you are infinity plus one"
And this one, "I have doobie in my funk," which I assume is some sort of reference to the Parliament Funkadelic song, "Chocolate City."
Man, why did that crazy woman have to kill Phil Hartman? As you ponder, enjoy some more of these, and then enjoy some of this:
Posted by Craig Calcaterra at 11:28am
Well, apparently Jon Lovitz blames Andy Dick. They even got in a physical fight about it. Hartman supposedly invited Dick over to their Christmas party or something and he got her back into drugs. Sounds pretty ugly. Hearing that Phil Hartman had been killed was much more shocking to me than pretty much every other celebrity death I can think of.
Wow. Way to bum me out on an otherwise exciting day. Thanks, Craig.
Posted 07/20 at 11:45 AM
Craig Calcaterra said...
Way to bum ME out, Lar. I always just assumed that she was bipolar or schizo or something, and now you go and point out a living (potential) bad guy in all of this.
At least with pure mental illness I can retreat to ponder the fates. Now I want to go and punch Andy Dick in the back of the neck.
Posted 07/20 at 11:48 AM
All right Craig, you toned it down about 20 notches from Matt’s rant about Old Timers’ Day and concentrated on Moose saying NO is NO.
Posted 07/20 at 12:01 PM
Stultus Magnus said...
That was a horrible day, I loved Phil Hartman. I had just finished a two-week trip in Europe with my friend and was at the airport. Some tabloid paper was saying he had been killed and my friend and I were just hoping it was a bogus story from a rag. But sadly, it wasn’t.
Rest in peace, Mr. Hartman. You are missed.
Posted 07/20 at 12:03 PM
Connecticut Mike said...
I remember one time my father came home from a night on the town, which of course had turned into a week, and my mother said: “John, is there anything you won’t drink”? and my father shot back: “Poison, I’m saving it for you”. And I and my brother, who is now an alcoholic himself, just about died laughing.
Good times, good times.
Posted 07/20 at 12:24 PM
Don’t I know it, Craig. I felt the same way when I first heard that story. Now I can’t help but say less-than-flattering things when I see Andy Dick on any show. I guess Hartman wrestled with letting Dick back into their lives (because he knew how screwed up his wife could get), but Dick convinced him that he was clean. Makes you glad Jon Lovitz punched him in the nose.
Ok, enough of this Hollywood gossip. This is supposed to be about sports…
Posted 07/20 at 12:27 PM
michael standish said...
Ok, how about sports and physics, specifically about how the latter relates to the Halladay situation:
1.) In order for Halladay to pass simultaneously through every point in the universe, his volume would necessarily be infinite.
2.) Therefore, there would be no one else (since no other things) in the universe.
3.) By 2.) above, there would be not only no money in the universe, with which to potentially buy him , but no one left to pay any of the non-existent money; of course, neither would there be anyone left to trade for him.
4.) The result? Baseball becomes as dull as an injury timeout in football.
5.) We should get Bud Selig on this. He’ll know what to do.
Posted 07/20 at 01:40 PM
Travis M. Nelson said...
Good for the Pirates, if they can trade these guys for some kind of value. That’s too much money for a couple of slightly above replacement level middle infielders. From the ESPN.com story”
“Huntington pointed out the Tigers signed Adam Everett for $1 million, and that Wilson—despite his popularity in Pittsburgh—has been below the league average offensively among NL shortstops four of the last five seasons.”
Ouch. Adam Everett? now’s you’re just being mean.
I figured that the overtures to Wilson and Sanchez were just for show, but it seems to me they could have made a much better show of it, couldn’t they? Who among us wouldn’t just walk out of the room in disgust if the boss came in and told us he’d like use to go ahead and work for the next two years for half of our current salary?
Posted 07/20 at 02:02 PM
The Rabbit said...
The best part of the article on Trey Hillman was the blurb on Sidney Ponson, the Royals version of Livan Hernandez only not quite as good. Ponson gets to start tonight. Another reason why Royals fans need to drink.
Posted 07/20 at 02:04 PM
“Royals version of Livan Hernandez only not quite as good”
That’s about the most perfect description (outside of “fat, angry Aruban”) of Sidney Ponson that I’ve ever heard. Makes you wonder how people keep paying either of those guys…
Posted 07/20 at 02:13 PM
Jason B said...
“Now I want to go and punch Andy Dick in the back of the neck.”
You…didn’t already wanna punch Andy Dick in the back of the neck?
Posted 07/20 at 03:42 PM
Greg Simons said...
I thought everyone wanted to punch Andy Dick in his last name.
And thanks for the Hitchhiker’s Guide reference, Craig. Douglas Adams is also missed.
Posted 07/20 at 05:06 PM
Howard sterns penis said...
Ba ba booey
Posted 07/20 at 09:32 PM