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Shyster's Daily Circuit


Baseball. Blogging. Whenever.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

My Morning in Exile

Columbus, Ohio has the highly annoying habit of scheduling trick-or-treating on nights other than Halloween. They call it "beggar's night" and after 18 years in this town, I've still never heard an adequate explanation for why kids can't go door-to-door on the 31st. Some have suggested non-interference with high school or college football, but they move it even when Halloween falls on a Monday-Thursday. Some have claimed that, many years ago, Columbus held some city-wide Halloween party on the 31st and they wanted people to be able to do both, but no such beast exists today. There's really no good explanation. My suburb actually does it on the 31st most years, but this year they're falling in with Columbus. So we go trick-or-treating with the kids tonight, 6pm-8pm, followed by a good hour of trying to bring my children down from their sugar highs before bed.

So I guess what I'm saying is, no one email me with mid-game spoilers, because I'm going to be DVRing that bad boy and watching it late. In the meantime:

  • The post in which I write "don't panic" in large friendly letters on the cover.


  • Pedro is probably going to get shelled tonight.


  • I can't decide if I'm more surprised that FOX did nothing to make me angry last night or more angry that I have nothing to be angry about today.


  • ESPN's Howard Bryant has no sense of decency, sir. At long last he has no sense of decency.


  • Tim Hudson is about to agree to a three-year extension with the Braves. Frank Wren trades the wrong superfluous starter in 3 . . .2 . . .1


  • Omar Minaya is a dead man walking.


  • And if anyone cares, my daughter is dressing up like a witch, my son is dressing up like a construction worker, and my wife and I are dressing up like two suburban parents carrying travel mugs filled with liquor around the neighborhood while hoping nobody notices.

    Posted by Craig Calcaterra at 11:57am


    Comments

    ecp said...

    Okay, I’ll bite:  Which Braves starter is the wrong superfluous one?

    Posted 10/29  at  12:14 PM
    Craig Calcaterra said...

    I think Vazquez is the wrong one—they should trade Lowe even if they have to eat salary—but I realize that reasonable people disagree on this.

    Posted 10/29  at  12:21 PM
    YankeesfanLen said...

    Whaddaya nuts- no one ever trades someone named Derek during the WS

    Posted 10/29  at  12:30 PM
    Mark Armour said...

    I will be carrying my coffee mug filled with liquor on Saturday evening.  I am a traditionalist.

    Posted 10/29  at  12:37 PM
    YankeesfanLen said...

    BTW, I’d go around here with a Bernie Madoff mask except people might either A) shoot me, or b) wonder why John Sterling wasn’t in Philadelphia that night.
    Ahhh, they’d know it was me by the big dog with the barrel under his neck.

    Posted 10/29  at  12:37 PM
    Grant said...

    When I was a child in the bizarre Maryland exurb of Columbia we actually had two trick-or-treating nights. One was on Halloween, and it was around the neighborhood. The other was some Friday evening (usually) before and was at the local “village center” (smallish shopping center with grocery store, liquor store, and most other daily necessity-type shops, plus restaurants) and allowed the local merchants to hand us candy. I think it was supposed to be a way to build community among shopkeepers and citizens. But really, the candy for this one was provided by the village center, and so usually was pretty low-grade (lots of those ghastly peanut chews).

    And really, what kid needs two nights trick or treating? Talk about obesity epidemics.

    Posted 10/29  at  12:37 PM
    Mark said...

    Craig, if you and the better half are both taking the kiddies out T-or-T-ing, then who’s at home defending Chez Calcaterra from roving hordes of tp-weilding chilluns, all profoundly disturbed at the lack of a satisfactory reply to their candy extortion demands?

    Posted 10/29  at  12:58 PM
    Craig Calcaterra said...

    Grandma. Actually, two grandmas tonight.  They like to see the kids dress up so they come over, take pictures, and then hand out candy on our front porch. Win-win.

    And if there’s any trouble, my dad will be there too, and he has a conceal-carry permit.  Just try to TP my house. I don’t care if you’re 7. You’re goin’ down, dude.

    Posted 10/29  at  01:03 PM
    Rob² said...

    @Craig - Albert Belle couldn’t have said it any better.

    Posted 10/29  at  01:12 PM
    Kevin S. said...

    Craig, I may have mentioned this before, but…

    We know divorcing owners can wreak havoc on a team’s finances.  The Dodgers probably need another pitcher and have a surplus outfielder (since they seem to think Juan Pierre’s good enough to be an everyday player).  Derek Lowe and Manny both somewhat underperformed their contracts last year.  Thoughts on a potential swap there?

    Posted 10/29  at  01:19 PM
    Levi Stahl said...

    This Columbus tradition sounds suspiciously like a reaction to some hideous Halloween incident in the distant past . . . that no one talks about!!! Do old people turn away in silence when you ask them about it, Craig? Do they mutter “Such a shame,” when they see kids walking the streets on “Beggar’s Night”? Is there an unexplained giant, pulsing sinkhole at the intersection of Main and Church that everyone walks around all casual-like as if it weren’t even there?

    You’re living a ghost story, dude—time to Shaggy up and investigate it.

    Posted 10/29  at  01:29 PM
    Andy H said...

    I was also thinking about 1996, the last time the defending World Champions from the NL won game one of the WS in Yankee Stadium. 

    Like you, I was in law school then, though I remember 1995 better.  Our prof (and dean) was from Ohio and an Indians fan.  A couple of poor souls wore their Braves hats after the Braves won, and no one else had to worry about answering any questions in class that day.

    Posted 10/29  at  01:34 PM
    (Not That) Tom said...

    Craig, you know if you really want to make your son’s costume as authentic as possible, you’d hand him the travel mug full of liquor.

    Posted 10/29  at  01:39 PM
    APBA Guy said...

    We all expect pictures posted on Facebook tomorrow,, including these infamous travel mugs in your proud-parent hands.

    Posted 10/29  at  01:42 PM
    Craig Calcaterra said...

    Here are the mugs from last year’s Halloween:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/ccalcaterra/3015979509/

    Posted 10/29  at  01:46 PM
    John_Michael said...

    My favorite Tim McCarver quote from Game 1:

    “Both the Phillies and the Yankees have 7 wins so far this post-season.”

    Posted 10/29  at  01:46 PM
    Craig Calcaterra said...

    Kevin S:  If the Dodgers trade Manny for Lowe I’ll pay the McCourt’s legal bills myself in gratitude.

    Levi: I’d prefer to Daphne-up.

    Posted 10/29  at  01:48 PM
    Aaron Moreno said...

    Your little boy was Axl last year?

    Posted 10/29  at  01:57 PM
    Craig Calcaterra said...

    That costume was totally of his then three year-old devising. He wanted to be a “motorcycle dude” but he insisted on the bandana looking like that.  All the adults called him Axl. None of the kids knew what to make of him.  He’s a weird kid.

    Posted 10/29  at  02:02 PM
    Greg Simons said...

    I recall reacting to one particularly stupid comment from Buck or McCarver last night toward the end of the game, but at that point I wasn’t paying close enough attention to care to remember the details.  And if that’s as bad as it got, I agree, Fox outdid itself.  And I actually like the triple-shot cameras focusing on the pitcher and hitter with the catcher in the middle flashing the signs.  Thankfully (shockingly?!?!), they consistently went back to the center field camera before the pitch was thrown.

    Posted 10/29  at  02:04 PM
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