My Morning in Exile

Just reading some cards from the suggestion box . . .

“You suck”
“You suck”
“Howard Stern rules”
“If you can read this you are a dork”
“Coupon for one free kiss from Treder if you are a girl”
“We need more complaint cards”
“Coupon for one free kiss from Treder if you are a guy”
“You will go on a journey, happy long time”
“Jaffe is a moron”
“No I’m not”
“Yes you are”
“No I’m not infinity”
“Yes you are infinity plus one”
And this one, “I have doobie in my funk,” which I assume is some sort of reference to the Parliament Funkadelic song, “Chocolate City.”

Man, why did that crazy woman have to kill Phil Hartman? As you ponder, enjoy some more of these, and then enjoy some of this:

  • If you think Neal Huntington’s offers to Sanchez and Wilson were in bad faith, wait until Sanchez’s plate appearances suddenly and mysteriously go down . . .
  • Trey Hillman given vote of confidence by man whose own job should be hanging by a thread.
  • Between THT Live and me, The Hardball Times continues to bring you full Cla Meredith Trade coverage. We’re gonna stick with this one all night if we need to.
  • Mike Mussina: The Anti-Favre
  • VlaDHimir
  • Roy Halladay was the prototype player for infinitely improbable trade rumors. The principle is that as his ultimate desitnation reaches infinite improbability, Halladay passes simultaneously through every point in the universe.
  • Print Friendly
     Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Google+0Share on Reddit0Email this to someone
    « Previous: Man on the Moon
    Next: Ozzie is always bored »


    1. lar said...

      Well, apparently Jon Lovitz blames Andy Dick. They even got in a physical fight about it. Hartman supposedly invited Dick over to their Christmas party or something and he got her back into drugs. Sounds pretty ugly. Hearing that Phil Hartman had been killed was much more shocking to me than pretty much every other celebrity death I can think of.

      Wow. Way to bum me out on an otherwise exciting day. Thanks, Craig.

    2. Craig Calcaterra said...

      Way to bum ME out, Lar. I always just assumed that she was bipolar or schizo or something, and now you go and point out a living (potential) bad guy in all of this.

      At least with pure mental illness I can retreat to ponder the fates. Now I want to go and punch Andy Dick in the back of the neck.

    3. YankeesfanLen said...

      All right Craig, you toned it down about 20 notches from Matt’s rant about Old Timers’ Day and concentrated on Moose saying NO is NO.
      Now I’m not advocating a Shriners convention or anything of the sort however many people have long term friendships from days past and fond memories of the histories of organizations that collectively they were all contributors.
      Ask Don Zimmer his thoughts on the fans reactions or look at Verlander and Leyland on the top steps of the dugout like two kids viewing their first 4th of July parade and tell me to give it a “rest”

    4. Stultus Magnus said...

      That was a horrible day, I loved Phil Hartman. I had just finished a two-week trip in Europe with my friend and was at the airport. Some tabloid paper was saying he had been killed and my friend and I were just hoping it was a bogus story from a rag. But sadly, it wasn’t.

      Rest in peace, Mr. Hartman. You are missed.

    5. Connecticut Mike said...

      I remember one time my father came home from a night on the town, which of course had turned into a week, and my mother said: “John, is there anything you won’t drink”? and my father shot back: “Poison, I’m saving it for you”.  And I and my brother, who is now an alcoholic himself, just about died laughing.

      Good times, good times.

    6. lar said...

      Don’t I know it, Craig. I felt the same way when I first heard that story. Now I can’t help but say less-than-flattering things when I see Andy Dick on any show. I guess Hartman wrestled with letting Dick back into their lives (because he knew how screwed up his wife could get), but Dick convinced him that he was clean. Makes you glad Jon Lovitz punched him in the nose.

      Ok, enough of this Hollywood gossip. This is supposed to be about sports…

    7. michael standish said...

      Ok, how about sports and physics, specifically about how the latter relates to the Halladay situation:

      1.) In order for Halladay to pass simultaneously through every point in the universe, his volume would necessarily be infinite.

      2.) Therefore, there would be no one else (since no other things) in the universe.

      3.) By 2.) above, there would be not only no money in the universe, with which to potentially buy him , but no one left to pay any of the non-existent money; of course, neither would there be anyone left to trade for him.

      4.) The result? Baseball becomes as dull as an injury timeout in football.

      5.) We should get Bud Selig on this. He’ll know what to do.

    8. Travis M. Nelson said...

      Good for the Pirates, if they can trade these guys for some kind of value.  That’s too much money for a couple of slightly above replacement level middle infielders.  From the story”

      “Huntington pointed out the Tigers signed Adam Everett for $1 million, and that Wilson—despite his popularity in Pittsburgh—has been below the league average offensively among NL shortstops four of the last five seasons.”

      Ouch.  Adam Everett?  now’s you’re just being mean. 

      I figured that the overtures to Wilson and Sanchez were just for show, but it seems to me they could have made a much better show of it, couldn’t they?  Who among us wouldn’t just walk out of the room in disgust if the boss came in and told us he’d like use to go ahead and work for the next two years for half of our current salary?

    9. The Rabbit said...

      The best part of the article on Trey Hillman was the blurb on Sidney Ponson, the Royals version of Livan Hernandez only not quite as good. Ponson gets to start tonight.  Another reason why Royals fans need to drink.
      Quote: “He’s gotta keep the ball down and pitch backwards,” said pitching coach Bob McClure. “He’ll be fine as long as he keeps the ball down and pitches to both sides of the plate.”
      Had to go to Crash’s lesson on interviews: “You’re gonna have to learn your clichés. You’re gonna have to study them, you’re gonna have to know them. They’re your friends. Write this down: “We gotta play it one day at a time.”

    10. lar said...

      “Royals version of Livan Hernandez only not quite as good”

      That’s about the most perfect description (outside of “fat, angry Aruban”) of Sidney Ponson that I’ve ever heard. Makes you wonder how people keep paying either of those guys…

    11. Jason B said...

      “Now I want to go and punch Andy Dick in the back of the neck.”

      You…didn’t already wanna punch Andy Dick in the back of the neck?

    12. Greg Simons said...

      I thought everyone wanted to punch Andy Dick in his last name.

      And thanks for the Hitchhiker’s Guide reference, Craig.  Douglas Adams is also missed.

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>