My Morning in Exile

Things I wrote while wondering why Greg Maddux never won a Nobel Peace Prize:

  • Leave Matt Holliday alone, will ya? Admission: that post is basically a rehash of this morning’s ATH, so if you read it already you can probably move along. Don’t look at me like that. Even great programs like “The Simpsons,” “Lost” and “Three’s Company” have done clip shows. Just imagine a dottering Lucille Ball doing the intro to that post from the empty ShysterBall set and everything will be cream cheese.
  • Things 1999 has in common with 2009: The number nine, the fact that I’m bald, and the fact that Jorge Posada is the better choice behind the plate for the Yankees.
  • The post that led to an NBC commenter accusing me of wearing “Dodgers panties.”
  • Thumpity thump-thump, thumpity thump-thump, look at Pedro go . . .
  • Derek Jeter: the face of postseason baseball.
  • Are the Rays really going to trade for Milton Bradley, or are Cubs writers just bored?
  • And if not Maddux, how about Picard? You gonna tell me that the guy who almost single-handedly put an end to the Klingon civil war isn’t worthy? Politics, man. Freakin’ politics.

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    1. YankeesfanLen said...

      Craig, when you start saying things that agree with Ian O’Conner, I begin to worry.  The Yankees depth will more than compensate for Molina’s .212, and somehow he isn’t that bad to hit something unexpected once in a while. Jorge should be happy that George signs and gives money to players who are a little long-in-the-tooth. Watch what Jeter gets next year, the year when Jorge will do DH most of the time.
      Just so you don’t think I want the Universe populated by 20 year olds, I’d like to see Johnny and Hideki re-sign for another year.
      The biggest problem the Yankees have today is the weather.
      Mr. Yankee Fancy Pants

    2. KR said...

      Hello, what about John Sheridan? He ended the Shadow War! Yes, there was the whole military coup thing that overthrew President Clark, but Clark was asking for it.

    3. MooseinOhio said...

      Do Dodger panties come in a variety of styles?  Personally I’d go with the boxer briefs, though a nice set of boxer could work as well. 

      Would Mrs. Shyster like the thong version?  Would it make a difference if you were the one to wear them?

    4. scatterbrian said...

      Can we get a memo out to broadcasters telling them to cease the use of “the _____ are down to their final out/strike”? Example: when James Loney was up last night, the Dodgers were “down to their final strike” but he reached on the error. Then Casey Blake was up, and again the Dodgers were “down to their final strike” before Blake walked. Then Belliard and Loretta saw strikes too.

      One of the great things about baseball is that there is no clock and virtually unlimited extra innings if needed. There is nothing final until the game is over.

    5. Alex K said...

      Do other teams have panties as well? Could I order some Cubs panties?

      That comment really did brighten my day. I’m still smiling.

    6. Bob Tufts said...

      I’m sorry Craig didn’t win the Nobel peace prize for the blog. Howeverm he did win the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence this summer.

      Scatterbrain – Sometimes a team is down to its last strike/out and doesn’t know it – a double play, even a triple play (Mets) could result on the next pitch.

    7. scatterbrian said...

      I hear you Bob, but in baseball you don’t know what is final until after the fact. So it’s misleading to say so before the fact.

      Really I’m just tired of broadcasters trying to add drama when there’s already plenty.

    8. Chris H. said...

      You can’t have Cub panties, because Milton Bradley is still wearing them.

      In other news, if Hendry manages to unload Bradley on the Rays, I will take back most of the bad things I’ve said about him.

    9. scatterbrian said...

      Yeah, I’d have gone with Ethier or Kemp before Martin, who’s been an All-Star, but isn’t necessarily more well known than those guys. I’m actually surprised it wasn’t Joe Torre. Isn’t he the guy in the Dodger version of the “This is Beyond Baseball” campaign?

    10. Jake said...

      what!?  He really did win the Nobel Peace Prize?  Here I thought it was just an elaborate hoax, but apparently it is so elaborate that everyone is running with it.

      next he’ll win the Nobel Prize for Economics too…

    11. Mode: Theif and Lair said...

      Matt Holiday makes an error, his pitchers don’t pick him up, and in the off season he signs for X years at 100+ million dollars.

      Steve Bartman makes an error, his pitchers can’t pick him up, and he has to move to Nepal.

    12. ecp said...

      The Dodgers panties thread was priceless!  I’ll probably laugh all weekend.

      But see, anybody who knows anything at all about Craig knows that he only wears Braves panties.

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