My Morning in Exile

Just want to thank everyone for all the kind words in my little ego thread yesterday. It’s humbling to say the least. I feel like Johnny Fever after he told people to go throw garbage on the steps of city hall and they actually, you know, did it. I’ll try to get back into my usual snarky-ass ways as the day progresses, but I’ll admit: it would be way easier if Bailey Quarters were here to help me get my mojo back like she helped Johnny in that episode. Alas.

  • Whenever I get mad at someone who won’t engage me or doesn’t care what I think, I fantasize that I have them in the witness box and I’m cross examining them within an inch of their lives. While it isn’t anything that extreme in this case, here’s me giving Mike Lupica the treatment.
  • My above reference to mojo notwithstanding, I’m pretty sure mojo is a b.s. concept.
  • Who is Manuel going to go to if the Phillies have a lead late? Lidge? Madson? Bedrosian? McGraw?
  • The Yankees aren’t so dumb that they’d actually give Johnny Damon more money based on one heads up play, are they?
  • Mattingly may be the heir apparent in L.A. Time will tell whether that role will play out more Prince Williamish or more Czarevich Alexei Nikolaevichish.
  • Chase Utley is not the best second baseman ever. And despite what the commenters may say, I DO sing better than Albert Einstein did. Prove me wrong.
  • BTW: Happy 59th birthday to Markie Post. (Call me).

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    1. MooseinOhio said...

      Craig – You only fantasize about getting people into the jury box to break them down, which is probably a healthy way to deal with your frustrations with them.  Lupica actually believes he is the judge, dare I say Chief Justice Lupica, and that his opinion is more than just mere opinion but the absolute and final truth on all matters.  His little god/Napoleon complex is part a larger issue he has and while you only dream about such matter he is actively living out his fantasies.

    2. YankeesfanLen said...

      Daily News sports editor: “Where’s that idiot Lupica, I’ve got half of him on my budget and gonna have to can that baldy with the mustache if I don’t get somethin’”
      Daily News editorial editor: “You can have him, all he does is rag on Bloomy anyway”
      DNSE: “Yeah, if he can get over the Knicks being 0 for something, I’ll have him do some Yankees stuff that’ll cover over-the-fold”

    3. Andy H said...

      I don’t know about singing, but I’m willing to bet that Einstein was a better violinist than you are . . .

    4. Craig Calcaterra said...

      Man, that’s a tough choice. Probably Christine, though. She’s a lawyer. We’d have way more to talk about.

    5. lar said...

      Watching the Season 3 episode of 30 Rock where Harry, Christine, and Mac guest star, I have to say that Markie Post aged a whole lot better than Harry Anderson – that is to say, Harry Anderson looks *old*.

      Today is also Loretta Swit’s 72nd birthday. Now, I’m way too young to have watched M*A*S*H in it’s prime, but I can imagine there’s a certain segment of the population feeling pretty old when they consider that.

    6. Rob² said...

      Regarding Lupica, isn’t this classic sportwriting?  Present the argument after the horse has left the barn?  The choice here isn’t Pettitte or not on 3-days rest, it *was* Gaudin or Chamberlain in Game 5 then Burnett at home on normal rest in Game 6, with Pettitte and Sabathia waiting for Game 7.

      Personally, I think that’s the preferable strategy, but the die is cast.

    7. Simon DelMonte said...

      Bailey.  I always dug chicks with glasses.  Never mind that she had to be cool if she could see whatever was actually going on under all of Johnny’s layers and facades.

    8. Beanster said...

      I have to go with Bailey as well, although I’m now wondering where Christine fits into Craig’s lineup from Oct. 15:

      “And for the record, my usual answers to these things are Veronica over Betty; Betty over Wilma; Bailey over Jennifer; and Mary Ann over Ginger.”

      Can we get an overall ranking 1-9?

    9. ecp said...

      @lar, gee thanks.  I’m old enough to have watched M*A*S*H in its prime and you’re right:  I was already having sufficient difficulty reconciling myself with the aging process without hearing that Hot Lips is 72.

    10. Luke said...

      Anyone else bummed that the Wikipedia page for Markie Post isn’t more robust?  Geez.  And, no mention of the incredible rack either! 

      I’ll agree on your 1-9 with teh exception of Wilma and Ginger, I’d flip them…

    11. Beanster said...

      Pretty good list – I think Mary Ann is viewed as underrated so much that she ends up slightly overrated, kinda like the Bobby Abreu of the island.

    12. The Rabbit said...

      “I fantasize that I have them in the witness box and I’m cross examining them within an inch of their lives.”  You are a very kind person, Craig.  When people really ‘piss me off’,  I envision vaporizing them with a BFG9000. Good thing I’m a pacifist.
      Re: Charlie Manuel- Manuel needs a Ouija board to pick a closer.  I’m thinking that Mitch Williams couldn’t be worse than Lidge.  If Manuel is wrong, the Philly fans will be blogging in their usual refrain:  “Chuckie Magoo, you’ve done it again.”
      BTW…Haven’t seen hotrod’s drivel in a while, although comeonman and hotrod seem to have a lot in common.  I’ve never seen them in the same place at the same time either.

    13. Melody said...

      Hey Craig,
      CONGRATS on the new gig, and even BIGGER congrats on quitting the law smile  Despite the drop in income, I’m betting that you’ll be really happy about moving to a job that you enjoy, and out of a job that has (it appears) been wearing on you.

      I’ve always enjoyed your writing and wish you all the best, although I’m not a huge fan of NBC and I’ll miss you at THT!

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