My Morning in Exile

In the wake of my many threats to grow the greatest Grizzly Adams beard the world has ever seen once I start blogging full time next month, my wife emails me this post written by famed blogger Heather Armstrong and says “you married the wrong woman!” Which, while I see her point, is totally not true. Armstrong may have a thing for guys at computers with beards, but she’s a stay at home blogger too. If I had married her, our kids wouldn’t have health insurance. So, no worries Mrs. Shyster, I still love you and all of your fabulous benefits . . .

  • Mike Scioscia and Jim Tracy are almost certain to win the Manager of the Year Award today.
  • The Nats are interested in John Lackey. I’m interested in expensive stuff that I can’t really use too, but neither of us is going to get it.
  • Are the Dodgers going to go after Keith Lockhart too?
  • Cooool.
  • Joba has no idea if he’s gonna start or come out of the pen next year. He doesn’t strike me as a live-in-the-moment guy, so the Yankees should probably tell him their plans eventually.
  • Rosenthal says that Mark DeRosa is going to sign with the Phillies. He also had the story on my breakfast before I even woke up this morning. Dude’s good at what he does.
  • Attention Omar: there’s a guy out there who doesn’t suck who actually wants to play for the Mets. You’d better get on this before he changes his mind.
  • Parent-teacher conference at ShysterDaughter’s kindergarten at 1PM. I have this feeling that the fact that I’ve been calling her “Mookie” lately is going to come up.

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    1. MooseinOhio said...

      Mookie – as in the Jack Russell from Mookie and Sam or as in the baseball player who helped to break my heart in 1986?

      So I guess I get to look forward to meeting my daughter’s kindergarten teaching next year and explaining why I call Katherine ‘mi bolsa de papas’.

    2. Craig Calcaterra said...

      Mookie Wilson. Most definitely Mookie Wilson. No real reason for it. I guess I got tired of calling her “Princess” and “Pumpkin” and all of that, so “Mookie” it is.

    3. The Common Man said...

      That’s it, I’m going to start calling The Boy Nails.  Our kids can platoon, and then mine can grow up to be a national punchline.

    4. Hizouse said...

      Cool photo essay, thanks for the link.

      But how could you discuss Marquis without throwing a jab about how he’s been to the playoffs every year of his career, compared to just once for Omar Minaya? (I’m just guessing about Omar)

    5. YankeesfanLen said...

      Coool is great, however you’re overlooking post-production through Photoshop which probably took about the same amount of time as “Birth Of A Nation”.  Looks like a 4 second exposure interval, so the camera with a memory card about the size of Houston would do the work, but aligning the 16 or so scenes this well is tough.

      On a Joba note, I don’t think the “rules” got him, just the discipline.  Suspect he will be either gone on a trade or reliever, with Andy back and a player to be named later as a fifth starter after Hughes.

    6. Mike Dark said...

      How bad do you have short-timers disease right now? At this point, I would have to imagine you are almost full-time blogging and surfing the web, just not from home yet!

    7. Jamie said...

      I think this is the first time I’ve seen John Lackey compared to a wax cotton fishing jacket, but I like the analogy. I think in the world of pitchers-as-jackets this makes Zack Greinke an Armani leather bomber, and Oliver Perez two pairs of irregular underwear with skidmarks.

    8. ElBonte said...

      Ollie Perez would be the “Are Monie” brand faux-leather jacket that coat salesman Scott Boras sold to the Mets as genuine.

    9. SWC said...

      Holy crap, that’s my coat. No kidding. Same model, same colour, with the excellent dual-zip game pocket in the back. Go ahead and buy it Craig, it’s by far the best coat I’ve ever owned, I’ve had it for about 5 years now. And it will be the last coat you ever need: Barbour repairs and rewaxes them very inexpensively. I live in London, and it’s great as a city coat (quite presentable) and a country coat (tough as nails and utterly waterproof).

    10. Craig Calcaterra said...

      Mike: I’ve basically had short timers disease since 2007.  I’m not even if I’m sure I’ll be able to blog without having mounds of guilt-inducing office work hanging over my head.

      SWC: I have a weakness for jackets and coats. I’ve been wanting a Barbour for a while now. I don’t know why. There are no moors anywhere near my house.

    11. APBA Guy said...


      If you get the Barbour coat you end up watching Midsomer Murders on DVD and pulling for the villains, then having uncontrollable urges to accessorize with tattersall and tweed.

      Don’t do it. Stick with the genuine A-2. Timeless, classic.

    12. The Rabbit said...

      If “clothes make the man”, you might want to avoid a more traditional Barbour.  I’d really hate to hear you’ve transformed from God to Jack the Ripper ala Jack Gurney in “The Ruling Class”.

    13. TC said...

      Craig: buy the coat.  My wife recently sent to me, with the words “you’d look good in this”, a link for a $6,000 suit.  (Well, $4,600, but the hat and shoes completed the ensemble, doncha know).  Much as appreciate her taste and all, my paycheck audibly laughed at her.

    14. Mode said...

      I don’t know which is worse, the fact that you wrote Marquis “can even hit a little” with lifetime stats of .202/.223/.295 and an OPS+ of 32, or that no one called you on it all day.

      When you are a worse hitter than Mario Mendoza (.215/.245/.262 OPS+ 41)is it legal to say he can hit a little?

      Or, maybe, I didn’t take you literally enough where “a little” is anything more than a .000/.000/.000 line.

      I would really like an answer to this question: When the NL adopts the DH will you lament the fact that Jason Marquis is not stepping up to the plate?

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