The Owners’ Meetings

People talk about the Winter Meetings for weeks before and after they happen, but no one ever talks about the owners’ meetings. Why is that? Well, it’s probably because the press reports on what it can understand. GMs may make a lot of money and some of them are bona fide celebrities, but they still work for a living. They actually do stuff, you see, and the press (and all of us) understand that on some basic level.

But the owners? If you told me that an owners’ meeting consisted of men sitting naked in tubs of money, caviar, and truffles prior to mustering for a mounted rifle hunt of human children I wouldn’t have any way to prove you wrong. The super rich are different than you and me, you see, and their ways are mysterious and likely sinister.

But it seems that at least one intrepid scribe has survived long enough to report on something that is going to happen at this year’s owners’ meetings, which will take place tomorrow and Thursday:

Two significant rule changes affecting the postseason and one-game tiebreakers are on the docket for the first quarterly meetings of the 30 Major League Baseball owners or their representatives to be staged on Wednesday and Thursday.

The first involves codifying the rainout rule that was interpreted by Commissioner Bud Selig to extend Game 5 of last year’s World Series won by the Phillies over the Rays. The second would establish a new procedure to determine which team would host a one-game playoff for a division title or Wild Card berth if both are tied with identical records at the end of the regular season.

Oh wait, we already knew that was going to happen, so whatever they do on these counts will be mere formalities. With those votes out of the way, I suppose that leaves more time for the representatives of the General Fruit Company, the United Telephone and Telegraph Company, the Pan-American Mining Corporation, South American Sugar, and the Lakeville Road Boys to present Bud Selig with his solid gold telephone or whatever the hell it is they’re doing down there.

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Comments

  1. YankeesfanLen said...

    Craig, you’re pretty cool, all guys love Godfather references.  Hal and Hank just make offers pitchers and first basemen can’t refuse.

  2. APBA Guy said...

    Really fabulous imagery, first the tubs of money and caviar, then the Godfather II meeting scene. Fabulous.

  3. Chris Simonds said...

    But you’re silent about the flip side. Who’s being set up to be assassinated?  If he had succeeded in his bid for the Cubs last year, you know it would be Mark Cuban. Of course, the whole SEC investigation thing might be a set up. Maybe Mike, errrr….I mean Mark, has been “assassinated” already.

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