The Screwball: Wanna See How the Comedy Sausage is Made?

Would you trade Paul Goldschmidt for a Mr. Pibb? (via Jnashboulden)

Would you trade Paul Goldschmidt for a Mr. Pibb? (via Jnashboulden)

Every year since the Fall of Rome, I have written what critics call a “grammatically correct” humor piece for The Hardball Times Baseball Annual titled “The Year in Frivolity.” In it, I attempt to become America’s latest heartthrob by presenting jokes that cause readers to spew milk, be it dairy or soy, from at least one nostril.

Contrary to popular perception, however, my life in the super-posh realm of baseball humor is not all fun and baseball games. It might sound paradoxical, but producing a joke is very hard work. First I have to find a talented comedian and then I have put his or her joke in my own handwriting.

In the off chance that Dane Cook hasn’t written a wisecrack about Albert Pujols, I have to cancel my nail-clipping plans, trudge to the laptop and set my keyboard to Hilarity Mode. The result is a slew of jokes that slip past the editors, mostly because they’re reviewing an illustrated analysis of the MLB strike zone in multidimensional hyperspace, but even more jokes that not even a rimshot can save. Here, for your lack of amusement, are those very jokes, along with the reasonable reasons I did not submit them for the 2017 annual.

Don’t enjoy!

April

On Opening Day, ESPN analyst Curt Schilling uses a telestrator to criticize Rays starter Chris Archer’s hair by circling it on-screen and calling it less than “big league.” Afterward, Archer refuses to retaliate, saying his concern for the analyst’s hair “is, for lack of a better term, receding.”

  • Good starts are important. Ask Curt Schilling! He once started a game with a ketchup packet in his sock and ended up on The Tonight Show or something. Of course, good starts are important not only for pitchers with condiments in their garments but also for esteemed joke writers. Why alienate a portion of the audience from the get-go? According to experts, receding-hairline sufferers are people too!

In the seventh inning of the April 4 game against the Nationals, Braves outfielder Nick Markakis becomes the first casualty of MLB’s new rules governing slides into second base when he is called out for interfering with Nationals second baseman Daniel Murphy. Later, having attempted to better understand the slide rule by looking it up on Wikipedia, Markakis becomes even more confused upon learning that it is a mechanical analog computer used for multiplication and division.

  • This is a pun, and we’ve been told that puns are the lowest form of Bobby Witt.

After homering twice in his major league debut and once more in his second contest, Colorado shortstop Trevor Story becomes the first player in major league history to homer in each of his first three games. Afterward, Story rejects what he calls “a blatantly obvious” request to change his name to Trevor Epic by opting instead for Trevor Blockbuster TV Mini-Series Based On Real Events.

  • Let’s get serious. This is what you call a “re-appropriation” of a meme, I think. I really don’t know. Who do you think I am? — someone who uses words like “re-appropriation” at locally sourced dinner parties? In any case, the joke writer takes back what the audience has already, like, appropriated, and then, after rejiggering its most recognizable components, returns it to them in a locally sourced and sustainable way. You’ll be surprised to learn that it doesn’t always work.

At Tampa Bay, the Blue Jays lose a game to the Rays when two ninth-inning runs are disallowed after Jose Bautista is called for interference in accordance with the new rules governing slides. Afterward, Toronto manager John Gibbons reacts by suggesting that his team should “wear dresses,” to which many observers respond that he “might prefer pelts fashioned from mastodon hair.”

  • Again, let’s get serious. Like, seriously serious. This is a terrible joke. One thing a joke writer cannot do is use a tone of righteous indignation. Righteous indignation is never funny. It’s just a terrible bore.

In response to Yankees COO Lonn Trost’s comment that wealthy fans who buy expensive tickets don’t like to sit near fans who aren’t accustomed to sitting in premium seats, HBO’s John Oliver purchases six Legends Suites seats for fans who consent to dress like they’ve “never sat in a premium seat before.” Accordingly, the fans arrive at the stadium dressed as political candidates who roll up their sleeves and eat a slice of pie at the local bakery.

  • Can I be honest? I actually like this joke! But a wise man once told me between gulps of Mad Dog 20/20 that a practitioner of the refined art of baseball humor “should always — hang on while I vomit — keep it about baseball. Hand me that towel.”

A Hardball Times Update
Goodbye for now.

Having spent four seasons in the minors after debuting with the Padres in 2011, Phillies outfielder Cedric Hunter homers in a game against the Reds for just his second major league hit and first in five years. In response, free agents Lou Bega, Toni Basil and the surviving members of Dexys Midnight Runners seek tryouts with the woeful Braves in efforts to erase their own status as one-hit wonders.

  • I can’t be sure, mostly because I’m uncertain, but I think I wrote this same joke last year. Or maybe the previous year. Maybe both years. I would have used a different player and other one-hit wonders — Men Without Hats, anyone? — but, yeah, I’ll wager the $4.75 I’ve earned from joke writing this century that I used that same basic template. Full disclosure: Joke writing can be an exercise in defending one’s brain from the seductions of Nietzsche’s eternal return. Yep, that same joke just keeps coming ’round and ’round and ’round, even if it wasn’t funny the first time.

On April 8, an early-morning fire erupts in a U.S. Cellular Field storage room containing promotional items and giveaways. Afterward, fans are relieved to learn that the only items destroyed were copies of a book-on-tape titled Hawk Harrelson Quotes Hawk Harrelson Being Hawk Harrelson.

  • Hey, why alienate a portion of the audience so quickly when I can alienate them later, with an even better joke about broadcasting’s most noxious presence?

Following a series in Seattle, the A’s are forced by circumstance to ride a San Francisco Giants charter plane back to Oakland. After takeoff, the team is obliged to bear a further indignity upon discovering that the inflight movie is Three Titles in Five Years: The Obsequious Retrospective.

  • Wake me when this gets funny.

During an April 11 ceremony, the Dodgers honor broadcaster Vin Scully by changing the name of the street outside Dodger Stadium to Vin Scully Avenue. Meanwhile, in San Francisco, vehicles on newly renamed Duane Kuiper Avenue continue experiencing extended periods of power loss.

  • This, literally, is “inside baseball.” A punchline needs to be accessible. What was Steve Martin’s plumbing joke about the “seven-inch Gangly wrench?” Exactly. If the audience doesn’t know Kuiper hit just one home run in his entire career, then the joke can’t land. And if the joke can’t land, it isn’t a joke. Joke tellers of the world: Require something of your audience, yes, but not too much.

On April 13, days after demoting former high-priced free agent Pablo “The Panda” Sandoval to the bench, the Red Sox move the disgruntled third baseman to the “disabled list.” Later, the team tells the Panda they are taking him to a “big farm” but actually take him to the veterinarian for “a check-up.”

  • I like this joke too! But sometimes “reality” rears its ugly “head” and ruins a joke in retroactive fashion. This was funny — well, I say funny — only before we learned Sandoval was really hurt.

To honor crosstown star Kobe Bryant on the night of his final NBA game, outfielder Mike Trout wears batting gloves colored black, purple and gold during the Angels’ April 13 game against the A’s. Elsewhere in L.A. an unnamed Dodgers player honors Clippers center DeAndre Jordan by making reservations at a Caribbean seafood restaurant called Mar Cuban and failing to show up.

  • Wow. This joke violates not one but two precepts of Paschal’s Rules For Being Hilarious In A Baseball Annual And Then Eating Lunch. First, it’s a pun, and if a pun requires a “hi-yo!” or a “heh? heh?” then it isn’t worth telling. Especially in print. Second, it asks too much of the audience. Do you even remember that Jordan stiffed Mavericks owner Mark Cuban last year? Of course not! It’s basketball. And the only thing to remember about basketball is it isn’t baseball.

On April 14, after testing positive for a performance-enhancing substance in violation of MLB’s Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program, Reds reliever Daniel Stumpf receives an 80-game suspension without pay. Asked for comment, Stumpf comes clean, telling the assembled press, “Well, I was trying to get over the humpf on the bumpf, so I decided to pumpf some junk in my rumpf, but unfortunately, as I eventually discovered, dehydrochlormethyltestosterone is actually an oral PED, so now I just feel like a chumpf.”

  • I still don’t know if this is funny.

Prior to a series against the Cubs, Cardinals officials ban from Busch Stadium the “Try Not To Suck” T-shirts that Chicago manager Joe Maddon commissioned. As a consequence, fans report “decreased satisfaction” with the stadium’s All-You-Can-Eat Crawfish Night.

  • Heh? Heh?

Boasting a 6.9 percent strikeout rate and .954 OPS, the Twins’ Joe Mauer reveals that he owes his resurgence to a training aid known as “strobe glasses,” wraparound eyewear that features an internal strobe light. Meanwhile, struggling Angels DH Albert Pujols reveals that he owes his failure to wraparound eyewear featuring an internal mirrored disco ball.

  • To my way of thinking, which is the correct way of thinking insofar as it doesn’t incite the violent overthrow of a city comptroller office, the words “mirrored disco ball” are inherently funny: good rhythm, hard consonants, quick monosyllable. Funny enough to carry a joke?

May

In the first week of May, San Francisco honors Giants icon Willie Mays by naming a cable car for him. Meanwhile, in Cleveland, the City honors an Indians icon by naming an elevator stuck between floors for one-time AL Rookie of the Year Joe Charboneau.

  • Is this funny? Is it mean? Is it both? Is it neither? At humor’s heart is cruelty. The jokester is laughing with the audience but, as awful as it might be, at the butt of the joke. Charboneau was a good player who, owing to injuries, and perhaps to opening beer bottles with his eye sockets, flamed out at 27. The jokester asks: Can I make fun of this? There is no right answer.

On May 6, Major League Baseball announces the postponement of the Marlins-Pirates series scheduled for late May in Puerto Rico due to concerns about the menace known as Zika. Meanwhile, MLB also announces the postponement of the Dodgers-Giants series scheduled for 1990s Week in Los Angeles due to concerns about the menace known as Zima.

  • If you’ve heard of Zima, this is kind of funny. Have you heard of Zima?

On May 17, Fredi Gonzalez learns that the Braves have fired him from his managerial post when he receives a flight-notification email informing him of a flight back to Atlanta. Heeding the news, Tigers manager Brad Ausmus — whose team, he admits, is “going south in Detroit” — waits in fear of a notification email informing him of a midnight train goin’ anywhere.

  • Of all the jokes I wrote, this alone made me laugh. Alone, is what I likely am.

Following an argument with umpire Joe West during a game in Minnesota, Toronto skipper John Gibbons is ejected for the third time in the past eight games. Later, he explains the frequent ousters by saying that after watching TV recently, he’s tried to achieve an ejection lasting more than four hours.

  • Hi-yo?

On May 23, the Rangers and the rest of America learn that after being out for the first seven weeks of the season, outfielder Josh Hamilton will not return to the lineup. In related news, America also learns there won’t be an Old Yeller II: The Miraculous Resurrection.

  • One of the dangers of joke writing is the possibility of angering people, even in unintended ways. After I wrote this joke, it occurred to me that some readers might think I’m ridiculing Hamilton’s Christian beliefs. I’m not. Still, out it goes with the garbage.

On May 25, the Cubs defeat St. Louis, 9-8, behind Jake Arrieta, who ties a major league record in winning his past 23 starts. Asked if he might extend the streak to 24 in his next start, Arrieta says, “Yes.”

  • I like it but never thought anyone else would.

When Adam Jones strikes out during a game in Houston, the Orioles establish a major league record by having struck out 52 times in a three-game series. Later, observers say they haven’t been subjected to “such a bad run of whiffs since the last time a strong wind blew from the Houston Ship Channel.”

  • Before writing these jokes, I made a vow: Don’t ridicule places. Mocking cities or states is tired and lazy. As a Texan, I’m weary of the relentless Texas bashing on TV and the Internet. Still, as the aforementioned Texan, I can tell you this on the Internet: That ship channel stinks!

In the second inning of a game in Atlanta, Giants starter Jeff Samardzija manages to face A.J. Pierzynski and Mike Foltynewicz in consecutive at-bats. Afterward, media members are heard expressing interest in a promising prospect named Will Spelczech.

  • I’m running out of hi-yos.

June

Prior to the June 1 game at Citi Field, a Mets fan earns an autograph from White Sox ace Chris Sale after challenging him to a round of rock-paper-scissors. Meanwhile, in Toronto, a Yankees fan earns a glare from Jose Bautista after challenging him to a game of rock-paper-hole punch.

  • I don’t advocate violence, unless you want to punch the Houston Ship Channel, but boy, howdy, I kind of loved it when Rougned Odor knocked the snotballs out of Bautista. (Note to self: Keep it professional, man.) Still, by any reckoning, half a dozen oooooh-Bautista-got-puuuuuuuuuunched jokes are quite enough, thank you, and that’s how many I wrote. Three slipped past the editors.

On June 2, early All-Star Game voting reveals that Royals players rank first or second at every position. Following an internal investigation, the Royals announce they’ve uncovered no wrongdoing and then celebrate by introducing their new mascot, Li’l Voter Fraud.

  • Full disclosure: Among all the jokes in this piece, this is the only one I submitted for the annual. The editors rejected it. Did you know their idea of fun is watching C-Span and eating muesli?

During a game against the Astros, struggling Rangers DH Prince Fielder ends a home run drought by hitting a ball so hard that it breaks the cellphone of a fan in the right-field seats. Afterward, observers agree that it has been a “pretty long time” since Fielder homered but disagree whether the phone he previously broke was a rotary-dial or a flip phone.

  • Joke writers are rarely sure a joke is funny. Kind of funny doesn’t count. It has to be really funny or it isn’t funny. It’s just a thing you say at the bar and hope the guy next to you has had four beers. This joke fits in that box. Plus, it’s a joke that everybody and his grandmother could write — well, not his grandmother, because then we’d be talking about switchboard operators. Add the fact that reality rendered Fielder a sympathetic figure and what you have is a failed joke, for sure.

In the eighth inning of a mid-June game, Indians’ third baseman Jose Uribe homers off Rays reliever Steve Geltz to notch his fourth home run in as many games since suffering a “testicular contusion.” In hopes of a similar outcome, struggling Ryan Howard enlists a Phillies employee to kick him in the testicles but is disappointed when the man merely punches him twice in the face.

  • An editor told me I had too many Ryan Howard jokes. And he didn’t even see the ones I removed before the final submission. That’s a lot of Ryan Howard jokes. Still, the fact that Ryan Howard is an object of ridicule, rather than an object of reverence, is not something that makes me laugh. It’s something that makes me sad. Yes, he’s a multimillionaire. Yes, he’s a public figure. Still, he’s a human being, and it isn’t right to point at humans and laugh. So, what’s a jokester to joke about?

During a radio interview on the heels of a 1-7 road trip and a 16-4 loss to Seattle, Padres executive chairman Ron Fowler calls the team “pathetic,” “embarrassing” and “miserable failures.” Asked if he can say anything nice about the Padres, Fowler replies, “Their weather?”

  • Heh.

In the opening innings of a game at Dodger Stadium, the Dodgers troll umpire Joe West, who moonlights as a country singer-songwriter, by using several of his songs as walk-up music. Between innings, West reciprocates by recording a new song titled “Payrolls Are Just Like Hay Rolls: Bigger Don’t Mean Better, It Just Means More To Haul.”

  • Know what? I like this joke! Problem is, I wrote it when the Dodgers were mired in mediocrity. Then, as if they had no concern for my joke-writing career, they started playing better. Rude.

In the seventh inning of a game in New York, Angels reliever Greg Mahle slips on the mound and, as a result, delivers a pitch that pierces the Mohegan Sun casino ad behind home plate. Afterward, the ad maintains possession of the baseball but does reward Mahle with a $10 food voucher.

  • I’m writing about baseball, not the gambling industry. Out it goes.

During a game in Minnesota, Miami’s Giancarlo Stanton sets a Statcast-era record by hitting a ball 123.9 mph but then sees it turned into a 5-6-3 double play. Later, pundits observe that the only time so swift an exit yielded so poor a result occurred days earlier when starter James Shields departed San Diego and gave up seven runs in two innings for Chicago.

  • Not bad, but the payoff is way, way, way, way, way, way, way too slow.

During a TV interview in mid-June, MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred says he considers Las Vegas a “viable option” as an expansion city. Later in the interview, Manfred adds that with San Francisco dominating the even years, “we need a city to handle the odds.”

  • Get it? The odds?

On the final day of June, reports out of St. Louis indicate that Cardinals outfielder Stephen Piscotty is “nursing a foot injury.” Reacting to the news, observers express astonishment that Piscotty is so flexible as to be able to raise his left foot all the way to his nipples.

  • This is funny in a fifth-grade way, but I doubt Piscotty’s nipples wish to be remembered like this.

July

On July 2, Angels star Mike Trout proposes to his girlfriend by hiring a pilot to write “Will You Marry Me Jess?” in the sky. Per reports, the same skywriter is forced to abort a second mission after an unnamed player hires him to solicit a casual hook-up via a complex series of emojis.

  • Not bad, Paschal, not bad, but let’s stick to baseball, shall we? Leave the biting critiques of millennial zeitgeist to bearded Interweb bloggers who write terms like “millennial zeitgeist.”

Issued a lifetime ban for a third PED offense, former Mets closer Jenrry Mejia in mid-July files a lawsuit against MLB for what he and his lawyer call “corruption” and “mob-like activities.” Questioned on a Manhattan street, Commissioner Rob Manfred denies the accusation, calling it “baseless” before turning to enter a private social club while wearing a velour tracksuit.

  • After reading an article stating the lawsuit would happen, I wrote the joke before the lawsuit happened. Then, I never heard if it happened. Did it happen? I don’t know. Out you go, suit joke.

Following the Home Run Derby, statisticians determine that winner Giancarlo Stanton’s 61 homers would travel 5.1 miles if laid end to end. With additional calculations, they also determine that the homers would get stuck in I-5 traffic for roughly 45 minutes.

  • This is not a joke about baseball. It’s a joke about traffic.

Cubs pitcher Jason Hammel reveals on July 18 that the team physician prescribed potato chips, loaded with potassium and salt, to counteract the hand cramps plaguing his performance. Meanwhile, in what many observers call a coincidence, the team physician for the crosstown White Sox has prescribed “one chip clip, to be secured firmly over the lips,” to counteract the condition plaguing announcer Ken “Hawk” Harrelson.

  • Eh, what did Harrelson ever do to me? Aside from making my ears bleed.

Due to injuries on their pitching staffs, the Angels and Rangers turn to Tim Lincecum and Kyle Lohse, respectively, to start the July 19 game in Anaheim. In a further celebration of 2011 Throwback Night, the first 10,000 fans receive Modern Family batting helmets.

  • I still like this joke. I’m guessing nobody else does.

Prior to the Philadelphia-Miami game on July 27, MLB officials unveil the logo for the 2017 All-Star Game scheduled for Marlins Park: a colorful, stylized star that includes the image of a marlin leaping from the water. Days later, a reporter discovers the logo officials rejected: an image of team owner Jeffrey Loria soaking taxpayers.

  • Know what else is funny? Those geniuses in Congress.

In late July, a news report indicates that a burglar broke into the Roger Maris Museum and stole a famous belt. Meanwhile, an additional report indicates that a second burglar broke into the Bud Selig-Rob Manfred Wax Museum and stole what it calls “a prominent pair of suspenders.”

  • I’m not sure if this deserves a “hi-yo!” or a “heh? heh?” I’ll give it both.

August

As August opens, reports indicate that the Red Sox had “late-night talks” with the White Sox regarding a trade for ace Chris Sale. According to subsequent reports, those talks included a fervent back-and-forth of “You hang up first.” … “No, you hang up first.”

Days after newly acquired Chris Rea leaves his first post-trade start due to elbow pain, the Marlins claim the right-hander is “damaged goods” and ship him back to the Padres. Upon learning that San Diego will issue only store credit in return, the Marlins become further incensed by the news that the team store is out of Randy Jones Bobble ’Fros.

  • One of the challenges of joke writing, aside from the aggressive groupies, centers on a precept of writing in general: Know thy audience, yo. But audiences are like the expressed demographic on a Monopoly game box: Fun For Ages 9 And Up! I have no idea how old you are. You might be 15, you might be 95. Do you know who Randy Jones is? He won a Cy Young and had killer ’fro.

Following Scott Feldman’s trade from Houston to Toronto just hours before an Astros-Jays series is to begin, the reliever enters the opener in the 14th inning and promptly yields the winning run. Asked if he yielded the game-winner because he still feels loyal to Houston, Feldman answers, “No, I yielded it because the Olympics are about to start and I still feel loyal to America. U-S-A! U-S-A!”

  • The worst jokes take the longest to write. You try and try to wring a punchline from an idea, but first you have to complete the framing. I tried every way conceivable to fashion the set-up. Put this here, put that there, move this over yonder. The punchline? It just isn’t worth the journey.

In the opening week of August, the International Olympic Committee announces that baseball will return to the Olympic Games. Citing logistical considerations, officials grudgingly acknowledge that the main concern is that while rounding the bases, players will slip on the ice.

  • I like this joke, but it isn’t about the big leagues.

On Aug. 8, former pitcher Curt Schilling announces on his Facebook page that he will run for President of the United States in four or eight years. In the days that follow, Schilling settles on a campaign slogan of “Building A Bridge To The 16th Century” before opting instead for “A Bloody Chicken In Every Sock And A Repossessed Car In Every Garage, Because Of The Bankruptcy.”

  • Books don’t have comment sections. I figured I’d give Schilling fans — all four of them — a chance to respond.

September

News on Sept. 1 is that Angels outfielder Mike Trout was involved in an overnight accident on a Santa Clara highway. In response, baseball experts agree that the accident would have been considered “far more serious” if Trout were on a contending team.

  • Maybe I should’ve included this one?

On Sept. 20, the Rangers announce plans for the multimillion-dollar Texas Live! complex to be constructed adjacent to a new stadium featuring a retractable roof. Later, the officials add that the brisket tray at the barbecue joint will feature a retractable sneeze guard.

  • This isn’t super-funny, but it’s a super-good idea.

On Sept. 22, the Tigers announce that they have acquired reliever Phil Coke from the Yankees. Upon learning that the Tigers acquired Coke, embattled D-backs GM Dave Stewart makes concerted efforts to trade star first baseman Paul Goldschmidt for a Mr. Pibb.

  • When I first wrote this joke, I thought it was terrible. I just read it again and it made me laugh. Humor can be a funny thing.


John Paschal is a regular contributor to The Hardball Times and The Hardball Times Baseball Annual.
34 Comments
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Njguy73
7 years ago

Duane Kuiper Avenue = periods of power loss

OK, that’s gold.

Carl
7 years ago
Reply to  Njguy73

Now that would cause Joe Posnanski to spew milk out of both nostrils.

Carl
7 years ago

“far more serious” if Trout were on a contending team.

Now that there’s funny. Lord please forgive me and may God bless the Pygmies in New Guinea”

87 Cards
7 years ago

To be found somewhere in creative people’s land there is a joke or “This is SportsCenter” bit with Anthony Rizzo and Jon Lester centering on Lester’s disinterest in throwing to first base with that base occupied.

87 Cards
7 years ago
Reply to  John Paschal

After a day of percolating the idea while traveling the tollway to/from Austin and San Antonio, I have a notion.

Steve Sax, Pedro Guerrero and Jon Lester are discussing defensive baseball. Greg Brock and Anthony Rizzo are listening, trying to participate the in the conversation; the trio does not even acknowledge that the first sack and its attendants exist. Punch line/running gag: “Why do we have second and third bases but no first base?”

Run with it John!

China
7 years ago
Reply to  John Paschal

Imádjuk a takarót, nem cserélünk, inkább gyűjtök egy kis pénzt erre a rózsaszínre 🙂 Pedig érdekes módon nem vagyok barátja a ríaÃzszs³nnek, de a feketével elragadó, azóta minden nap megnézem 🙂

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7 years ago
Reply to  John Paschal

Terrific content and also quick to be able to fully understand story. How do My partner and i begin acquiring agreement to be able to place component with the page within my new newssheet? Offering right credit rating for your requirements the particular writer and also website link for the online site will not be described as a concern.

anonymous
7 years ago

“On May 23, the Rangers and the rest of America learn that after being out for the first seven weeks of the season, outfielder Josh Hamilton will not return to the lineup.”

“In related news, America also learns there won’t be an Old Yeller II: The Miraculous Resurrection.”

MY SIDES

anonymous
7 years ago
Reply to  John Paschal

I legitimately loved this joke. Ant not just because legend has it the Ghost of Banknotes Harper will kick in my door and impregnate my wife if I say otherwise.

ZachR
7 years ago

Love ya John.

ZachR
7 years ago
Reply to  John Paschal

Tis I, emerging from the void to sling a globule of love thy direction.

*and now I ooze back into the shadows, a pooty mirage from notgraphs of yore*

Lucinda
7 years ago
Reply to  John Paschal

8-1M72-irela spune: Buna. Ai putea sa imi cauti si mie driverele de sunet si video? nu prea ma pricep. Sunet= smwdm.sys iar pt video = ialmrnt5.dll . Cred ca astea sunt. Ms… +50V-a ajutat acest raspuns?

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7 years ago
Reply to  John Paschal

Gratuliere dir zur Gastdesignerin! Hatte es gestern schon auf dem Blog gelesen!Es ist ja auch kein Wunder, so fest wie wir alle die Daumen gedrückt haben *zwinker*Deine Kommunionskarten sehen ganz zauberhaft hast! Schlicht, jedoch sehr wirkungsvoll!Knuddels Regina

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6 years ago
Reply to  John Paschal

I am looking for financial freedom. Time to spend with my family and watch them grow. A opportunity to reap the rewards from the time that i put in to learn and trade the system. Can’t wait to try it!

firemen's fund
6 years ago
Reply to  John Paschal

Review by Cami Beegle for Rating: The earrings arrived fast and look exactly like the picture. Good quality and a fair price. The only negative thing I could say is that the hoops are very small. I think I was expecting them to be bigger than they were. Overall though I was very happy with them!

bucdaddy
7 years ago

“Prior to a series against the Cubs, Cardinals officials ban from Busch Stadium the “Try Not To Suck” T-shirts that Chicago manager Joe Maddon commissioned. As a consequence, fans report “decreased satisfaction” with the stadium’s All-You-Can-Eat Crawfish Night.”

For some reason, this reminds me of the time a woman friend went to N’Awlins and came back with a T-shirt that read:

Shuck me
Suck me
Eat me raw
… Louisiana oysters

Candie
7 years ago
Reply to  John Paschal

Reply:January 26th, 2013 at 9:02 amLaura created an account. #2soger@raiAinbmlives Reply:January 26th, 2013 at 9:03 amLaura created an account. #3Amber@raisingolives Reply:January 26th, 2013 at 9:03 amLaura created an account. #4Amber@raisingolives Reply:January 26th, 2013 at 9:04 amLaura created an account. #5

toy blast
6 years ago
Reply to  John Paschal

I love your authenic cantonese cooking. Your instructions are clear and easy to understand. Your homecook recipes are excellent and so grateful you share them. I really appreciate the jok/porridge technic I learned from your video. Thank you and please keep them coming.

AC of BNI
7 years ago

Aren’t you supposed to be masked when betraying secrets of the craft? Won’t the Guild of Baseball Comedy Writers come after you now for destroying the illusion? (That was a magician joke.)

At first I thought it odd that you keep your disqualified material on-hand, rather than just delete it, but then I remembered I don’t do that either; I just publish it. (Q.E.D.)

You may not be the best compensated, but you’re certainly the hardest-workin’ man in Baseball Comedy Writingbusiness. Hopefully your bosses at least spring for good lights and a snazzy, sequined cape.

Artie
7 years ago
Reply to  AC of BNI

A plnaeisgly rational answer. Good to hear from you.

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7 years ago
Reply to  AC of BNI

jeg har lige været der, og jeg kan ikke vente med at komme afsted igen. så det kan jeg bekræfte, at der er ;)!!hav en god tur!C

tz
7 years ago

There must have been over 100 “humorous” observations that I discarded when making the following post on the Fangraphs community page:

http://www.fangraphs.com/community/53-things-about-a-53-second-finnish-baseball-video/

Given the quality of the 53 surviving comments, you can only imagine how bad the discarded ones were.

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6 years ago

Macy’s is bringing its new self-service shoe concept to three Chicago-area stores where customers can bypass sales associates and slip on a pair all by themselves.