And That Happened

Braves 10, Diamondbacks 1: Justin Upton went 4-for-5 with a homer and two RBIs. Chris Johnson went 3-for-4 with a homer and three RBIs. Martin Prado had a couple of hits and I suppose he was gritty. Gonna say that the first visit to Arizona for the Braves post-trade falls to their advantage.

Twins 10, White Sox 3: Aaron Hicks hit two home runs and robbed one from Adam Dunn in center. If I remember by college accounting course, that’s a +3 in the home run column.

Indians 1, Yankees 0; Yankees 7, Indians 0: An old-timey doubleheader with no multi-hour break in the middle and one ticket buying access to both games. Don’t see that happen much anymore. Takes a couple of rainouts to make it happen I guess. Justin Masterson was outstanding in the first, shutting out the Yankees and striking out nine. Vidal Nuno, I’m guessing a hair stylist/cosmetics mogul, pitched five innings of shutout ball himself in the second game, backed by a couple of RBIs each from Vernon Wells and Lyle Overbay. Those three names, if I had told you were important parts of a Yankees game before the season started, would have likely had you thinking the team was in last place. They’re, instead, a game up in the AL East, tied for the best record in the American League.

Cardinals 6, Mets 3: Rick Ankiel’s Mets debut: 0-for-3 with two strikeouts. And he made a diving stab at a catch in the seventh inning, but just missed it, which led to the Cardinals scoring three runs. He said after the game if he’d had his own glove — which was still back in Houston — he would have caught it. Instead he had to use a pitcher’s glove. I’m actually inclined to believe him here. Outfielder gloves are gigantic.

Brewers 5, Pirates 1: Milwaukee stole six bases off Pirates backup catcher Michael McKenry. I haven’t seen a defender so abused since Jerry Rice embarrassed Charles Dimry back in 1990. Maybe Jerry Glanville thought McKenry could handle throwing out Brewers base runners like he thought Dimry could cover Rice in man-to-man.

Cubs 9, Rockies 1: Travis Wood joins the increasingly long list of pitchers making the Rockies look lost at the plate lately, tossing seven shutout innings. The AP gamer said “He’s the first Cubs pitcher since Hippo Vaughn in 1919 to start with eight quality starts.” I’m guessing that Hippo Vaughn had no idea what a quality start was. And even if he did, it wouldn’t fit the same definition of “quality start” we know today. In 1919 it probably included cigarettes, Spanish Flu masks and trips to a brothel.

Tigers 7, Astros 2: A grand slam for Andy Dirks and, ouch, a dislocated jaw for Jose Altuve. These losses are getting increasingly painful for the Astros.

Nationals 6, Dodgers 2: Bryce Harper needed 11 stitches on his chin and he jammed his shoulder hitting the outfield wall. This is the quintessential “guy who plays really freakin’ hard” kind of injury, I suppose. He actually hit a chain link fence which sits in front of a scoreboard. Don Mattingly said after the game “That fencing we have is a little dangerous. If you hit that, you’re going to feel it, especially face first.” You know THAT’s gonna be thrown back in Mattingly’s face during his deposition. Man.

Royals 11, Angels 4: Five hits and five RBIs for Billy Butler, breaking a horrendous slump for Country Breakfast. Speaking of nicknames, Ned Yost called pitcher Luis Mendoza “Mendy” after the game, extending his streak of awful, unimaginative nicknames for his players to, like, 15. He and Eric Wedge probably have a little cheat sheet with every player’s name on his team with a little “y” next to it in case they need to use a nickname in a postgame interview.

Athletics 5, Rangers 1: Eight Ks for A.J. Griffin. Back to back homers for Yoenis Cespedes and Brandon Moss. The A’s needed this one after dropping six of their last seven.