And That Happened

Rangers 3, Angels 2: The Rangers get Cliff Lee and unleash him on their division rivals! Not to be outdone, the Angels acquire Alberto Callaspo!  Wait, that’s totally being out-done. It’s been a nice run, Anaheim, but you just ain’t got the horses this year.

We now begin a stretch of five straight games in which the losers were shut out:

Phillies 2, Cardinals 0: Cole Hamels and Adam Wainwright respectfully disagree with the notion that the Phillies and Cardinals should be fighting over who lands the big pitcher at the trade deadline. Each would prefer some run support, thank you. Eight innings of one-hit ball for Hamels, six innings of shutout ball for Wainwright, neither in on the decision. Placido Polanco and Jayson Werth come through in the 11th for the Phillies.

Dodgers 2, Mets 0: If it’s Thursday it must mean that the Mets are getting shut out in California. Hiroki Kuroda this time, who combined with Hong-Chih Kuo to blank New York. All of the scoring came via the bat of Matt Kemp who hit a homer and had an RBI double.  In other news, this is the kind of nightmare road trip that gets managers fired.

Braves 8, Padres 0: Tim Hudson shuts down the Padres as Alex Gonzalez, Jason Heyward and Chipper Jones lead the way on offense. After the game Chipper said this team reminded him of the 1995 Braves. I guess he’d know best. My view: needs more Lemke.

Giants 3, Diamondbacks 0: Matt Cain and Brian Wilson spin a three-hit shutout of the D-backs. Buster Posey extends his hitting streak to 16 games.

Twins 5, Orioles 0: A five-hit shutout for Carl Pavano, replete with all kinds of ejecty-goodness for a very frustrated Orioles team. Aaron Gleeman with the fact of the day: “Carl Pavano has now started 32 games for the Twins: 17-10 with 3.72 ERA, 140/35 K/BB ratio in 217.1 IP.” Yankees fans, you may now bang your head against a table.

Nationals 7, Reds 1: Watching pitchers fresh off Tommy John surgery is like watching Ash in “Evil Dead II.”  Sometimes they kick ass, sometimes they have absolutely no control over their own hand. The ball was going all over the place for Edinson Volquez, and Adam Dunn used his boomstick to hit a two-run home run off him.  Hail to the king, baby.

Red Sox 8, Mariners 6: John Lackey had a no-hitter into the eighth inning, and the Bosox had a 6-1 lead entering the ninth when the pen—and to be fair, the defense— imploded, allowing Seattle to tie it. Eric Patterson saved everyone’s bacon with a two-run double in the top of the 13th, but really, this was a near disaster for Boston.  Oh, and check out this sick catch by Ichiro to rob Big Papi of a homer.

Yankees 10, Royals 4: Inside the park homer for Jeter (and some pfun pfacts about it!). Home run number 599 for A-Rod.  All hail the Royals’ AL-high team batting average: 14 hits apiece for the Royals and the Yankees, a six-run difference on the scoreboard. There’s a lesson in there somewhere.

Brewers 3, Pirates 2:  The top of the eighth inning ended with Prince Fielder (ginormous) barreling into Pirates’ catcher Erik Kratz (humongous) on a play at the plate.  The reverberations were felt all the way back home in Milwaukee, ripping the ground wide open and causing this Cadillac Escalade to be swallowed by the Earth.  True story.

Marlins 3, Rockies 2: A walkoff RBI single for Ronny Paulino gives the Feesh their third win in four games against the Rockies, who certainly haven’t started out the second half of the season the way they wanted to.

Tigers 5, Blue Jays 2: The Jays had opportunities to extend an early two-run lead, but stranded runners and failed to get a timely hit or two. After that Justin Verlander bore down and Toronto just didn’t have a chance.  The Jays ran themselves out of an inning when Yunel Escobar got thrown out trying to stretch a double into a triple with two-outs in the seventh. Cito Gaston: “I’m sure our coaches will talk to him about that play. You can’t go for third in that situation unless you know you are going to make it standing up. You can score just as easily from second with two out as you can from third.” Somewhere Bobby Cox chortled good luck wishes to the Blue Jays coaches.