Rangers 20, Twins 6: A lot of people will probably make a football joke here like “heh, Texas missed the extra point and held Minnesota to two field goals!” That’s hacky. Try this: in the first five innings the Rangers scored like so: 3 3 3 5 4. Or, birdie, par, birdie, par, par! Lol! Hilarious, right! Seriously, though, we done with that “watch out for Minnesota” talk yet?
Padres 5, Phillies 4: You don’t see a guy steal home very often. I guess that’s what you get when you lollygag the ball to first base. You don’t see the Padres beat the Phillies very often either, but Aaron Harang continued his nice run and that’s just what happened.
Indians 3, Angels 2: True story: if “Cowboys vs. Aliens” makes good money at the box office, they’re gonna greenlight its sequel, “Indians vs. Angels.” Though I’m guessin’ people might protest that one based on the title alone. And Dan Haren should probably protest his offense and his bullpen after they combined to render his 10K, 1 ER performance moot.
Mets 4, Reds 2: Jason Isringhausen and the Mets defense made it a bit interesting in the ninth, but Brandon Phillips struck out with the bases loaded to end it.
Yankees 10, Mariners 3: Sixteen straight. How bad is it? They even allowed Derek Jeter to hit a homer and drive in three.
Pirates 3, Braves 1: I probably deserve this for calling Pittsburgh smoke and mirrors in yesterday’s Power Rankings. I still believe it, though, so don’t get too much satisfaction there, Cruel Fate.
White Sox 6, Tigers 3: Chicago, who at times has looked like a train wreck this year, is now only three and a half back of Detroit. Man the AL Central is nuts.
Cardinals 10, Astros 5: Yadier Molina is on fire. He homered for his third straight game and — though we’re not supposed to say it lest we reveal our ignorance of the commonality of the event — he was a triple short of the cycle.
Athletics 7, Rays 5: Oakland continues to score some runs and get some breaks. Here they came back from a 5-2 deficit to win it. Pity none of that happened earlier this season, because they’re back more than a dozen.
Royals 3, Red Sox 1: Tied at one in the 14th, the Royals pulled an accidental squeeze play when Eric Hosmer and Jeff Francoeur both broke on a Mike Aviles bunt attempt. Hey, whatever works. Tons of missed opportunities for the Red Sox who threatened often in extra innings but couldn’t cash anything in.
Dodgers 8, Rockies 5: L.A. took an 8-1 lead into the ninth and had thoughts of frittering it away. In the end, though, they only gave up four runs to the Rockies before closing it down. But hey, unexpected save for Jay Guerra. And that’s all that really matters.