And That Happened

Nationals 8, Marlins 4: Bryce Harper hit two homers, bro. Jacob Turner: not really ready for the major leagues yet, bro.

Mets 3, Phillies 2: Matt Harvey continues to impress (6.1 IP, 6 H, 2 ER, 6K). The Phillies pitcher listed in the box score is named “Tyler Cloyd.” I’m calling b.s.  That’s a name you desperately reach for when you’re trying to pretend to be someone else but didn’t really think ahead.

Royals 1, Tigers 0: Look, it’s pretty simple: if you have pretensions of the playoffs, you beat the Royals when your ace is going like the Tigers didn’t do on Tuesday night. And you don’t get shut the hell out by Bruce Chen for eight innings either.

Pirates 5, Cardinals 0: We’re all sitting around here waiting for the Pirates to keel over and die and then they go and take two of three from the guys they’re chasing. Coming up: a lot of games against the Cubs and Astros. The Wild Card race is getting wild.

Padres 8, Braves 2: Tuesday night was just a blip, it seems. The Padres win their ninth of 10. Eric Stultz allowed no earned runs over six.

White Sox 8, Orioles 1: Joe Saunders, amazingly, wasn’t an immediate boon to the O’s rotation. Their recent pickup allowed 10 hits and seven runs over five and a third.

Reds 6, Diamondbacks 2: Chris Heisey smacked two homers as the NL’s best team sweeps the S-akes.

Blues Jays 8, Yankees 5: Yunel Escobar had the big day. The Yankees looked sloppy and stranded runners. I know the real issue here is getting everyone healthy, but really, they’re playing bad baseball at the moment regardless.

Rays 8, Rangers 4: Two homers for Evan Longoria. More like Even Longballia, amirite?

Athletics 8, Indians 4: I spent an hour yesterday telling people that the A’s and Rays’ offenses suck and how they won’t go far in the playoffs because of it. Nothing you can say about baseball lasts more than a day.

Brewers 3, Cubs 1: Sometimes I look at the box score and just can tell that the game was no fun to watch. Like when three of the game’s four runs were scored on two groundouts and a play on which there were two throwing errors.

Dodgers 10, Rockies 8: A.J. Ellis’ grand slam in the eighth seemed like gravy, as it stretched a five-run lead into a nine run lead, but the Dodgers ended up needing it as they withstood a seven-run rally by Colorado in the bottom of the inning.

Twins 10, Mariners 0: Trevor Plouffe doubled in a couple and hit a two-run homer. But really, everyone in Minnesota got into the act.

Giants 6, Astros 4: You’d think Hunter Pence would be nice to the Astros seeing as how they gave him his freedom from having to play for them and everything. But no, he’s an ingrate and hit a three-run homer off them. It was his fourth homer against Houston in the seven games he’s played against them since departing.

Angels 10, Red Sox 3: Kendrys Morales and Chris Iannetta hit homers and C.J. Wilson won for the first time in 11 tries.


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